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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To NOT be out of my mind with worry if DD (12) needs to self isolate? Friend seems to think so..

33 replies

BoozyHotChocolate · 07/11/2020 15:07

Hi,

My DD was sent home last week along with a few other students, as they'd been in close contact with a student who tested positive for COVID.

Obviously this isn't ideal, but in all honesty, I haven't really been worrying as such. I worry about her missing out on two weeks of school, but not the actual virus itself. Well, of course I'm a little concerned, but I'm aware of the statistics etc, so am keeping myself calm reminding myself of those.

Anyway, I told my friend about it and her initial response was "oh my god! You must be utterly terrified?! I'm so so sorry". I replied I was actually ok and that, touch wood, DD was showing no symptoms.

Since then, I get daily messages of doom from this friend, generally consisting of "I don't know how you're so calm. I'd be a complete nervous wreck".

Genuinely starting to get pissed off now tbh. She hasn't lost anyone to COVID, she's not on the front line. I don't really know where it's coming from, but I am starting to wonder if it's actually me...

Would most parents be out of their minds with worry under the same circumstances?

OP posts:
ArchieStar · 07/11/2020 15:09

Wow tell her she needs to calm down and stop being so dramatic. You are aware of the situation and you will panic when there is something serious to panic about!

StealthPolarBear · 07/11/2020 15:10

How odd. Ds was isolating for the same reason over half term. If he'd had symptoms if have been mildly concerned but as he didn't it was business as usual, but no going out for him and very limited for the rest of us.

Sirzy · 07/11/2020 15:13

She sounds very anxious!

Ds was shielding and has had to isolate due to a contact at school. I was obviously keeping a very close eye on him for any signs but I wasn’t particularly worried

PolarBearStrength · 07/11/2020 15:15

Friend sounds like a drama llama. I have a friend like this, any excuse to make a fuss!

SilverLake · 07/11/2020 15:17

I'm in the same situation - 12 year old DD sent home last week. My DD seems fine so far so. We're going with the flow. Perhaps your friend suffers from anxiety and is projecting.

Ignoringequally · 07/11/2020 15:17

One of mine is isolating after her teacher tested positive (primary school). I’m worried about how to manage school runs for one child, home schooling another, looking after a toddler and job hunting at the same time, but not hugely concerned about her having caught Covid.

I8toys · 07/11/2020 15:17

Overreacting. DS1 17 had 6 friends in his bubble in our outside seating area last Wednesday. 2 have tested positive and he's isolating. Just how it is I'm afraid. DH is a teacher and his classes are decimated by it. I work at home and very rarely go out. Its all around us unfortunately.

Sparklesocks · 07/11/2020 15:17

I think people are a bit on edge at the moment and might be quicker to panic, so it’s possible she’s just projecting her own anxieties. But it’s still not fair for her to put that on you. Even if I was nervous for a friend in a similar scenario I wouldn’t want to add to their anxiety by sharing my dramatic response!

Trisolaris · 07/11/2020 15:18

My mum has a friend like this. I had indirect contact with a COVID positive person back just before lockdown and then got sick so am pretty sure I had it. I’m also T1 diabetic

Obviously she was a bit worried but I was ok, it was like having tonsillitis. Her friend was a nightmare. ‘Oh, poor trisolaris! You must be so worried!’ My mum was getting pretty annoyed as she knew by speaking to me I was ok and it made her feel like a bad mum for being able to get on with daily life.

elliejjtiny · 07/11/2020 15:18

Ds2 had to isolate with the rest of his year group. I was very worried and so were a lot of the other parents. 4 children in his year tested positive and the rest (including ds2 thank goodness) were fine.

ReneeRol · 07/11/2020 15:18

I'd tell her not to be so ridiculous, covid is no risk to twelve year olds, she's very unlikely to get as much as a mild symptom.

DuzzyFuck · 07/11/2020 15:20

She sounds like my Mum. An absolute drama llama who is never happier than when she's making a mountain out of a molehill.

Conversely I'm very much of the philosophy of not worrying about things that are outside of my control.

Original poster
BoozyHotChocolate · 07/11/2020 15:21

Ah, not just me then! I didn't think my reaction was odd, but then this friend isn't generally a stress head or worrier, so it's definitely out of character, which is why I started to wonder if it was.

OP posts:
BananaPop2020 · 07/11/2020 15:24

@DuzzyFuck spot on. So many people are once again revelling in it all. If I had to isolate I wouldn’t tell my mother as it would induce an absolutely arm flinging, wailing nightmare.

TableFlowerss · 07/11/2020 15:24

Your friend sounds like a real one!

Way OTT, but then there are plenty of those about. Rational adults with no underlying health conditions absolutely terrified of a virus that has less chance of killing them than being hit and killed by a car.....

Crazy....

Angel2702 · 07/11/2020 15:25

Id be worried about them missing school and juggling work etc but not overly worried about them getting symptoms. In school there have been a handful of cases and only one student sent to isolate as a contact went on to test positive.

FippertyGibbett · 07/11/2020 15:26

No. My DS has had to isolate due to a contact but I wasn’t in the slightest but concerned.

Firefliess · 07/11/2020 15:28

DD has recently finished 2 weeks isolation from a close contact. We were a little concerned about her catching it and passing it on to us (DH is mid 50s) Not in the slightest bit worried about her own health tbh! She's 17 so we kept her largely in her room for the highest risk time with room service for meals (which she rather enjoyedGrin) then let her round the house as normal after 10 days from contact. It was more of a nuiYour friend sou than a worry though. Your friend sounds a bit over anxious, but I think the government and press did work quite hard to make people very anxious over the first few months of lockdown. Public spiritness is only going to get you so far - a frightened population stay indoors much longer.

Respectabitch · 07/11/2020 15:34

God, drama llama much? We've just finished two weeks of isolation as DS1 was in contact with a positive case at school. It was a royal pain in the bum, and pretty exhausting having to work in shifts around each other and homeschool while also keeping DS1 amused, but the only thing I was worried about was that one of us would develop symptoms and we'd have to extend the whole tiresome thing.

DuzzyFuck · 07/11/2020 16:47

@BananaPop2020 Same. I tell her as little as possible, helped by the fact we live hundreds of miles apart. Instead she follows my local news for scraps from there to worry about Hmm

Petitmum · 07/11/2020 17:06

Your friend is overreacting!!

frazzledquaver · 08/11/2020 17:11

Is she in an area with less cases? My DH and I are higher risk and my DS has type one diabetes, so we're really not keen on getting the virus (concerned that if my DH and I are very unwell we will have no-one to help my son manage his condition - we're really good at keeping him out of hospital when he is unwell but it's always a possibility and can take a lot of work). However, there are so many cases in our area now that our attitude to risk is changing all the time. We felt sure that we would keep the children home if there were multiple cases at school, but now that there are, we haven't.

dementedpixie · 08/11/2020 17:14

My ds has also been off self isolating after contact at school. Luckily no symptoms and can go back to school tomorrow.

We are in a level 3 area in Scotland so high cases but you've just got to get on with things and whatever happens happens

corythatwas · 08/11/2020 17:36

It sometimes seems like there are only two reactions to choose from: either you have to totally deny there is a potential problem or you have to go out of your mind. Little space given to your own eminently sensible reaction.

We have already had to self isolate once due to ds being in contact with infected workmates and in fact his workplace has now had to close because they can't find a manager who isn't either ill or self-isolating. But nobody, not even my 88yo mother, has been wringing any hands about it. Time to start worrying if someone becomes ill, seems very self indulgent to be hand-wringing before then.

HyperHippo · 08/11/2020 18:06

Yep there are definitely quite a few people like that at the moment! Drives me a bit mad too. They are usually the types who love drama, will 'use' your story to get attention for themselves "Can you believe my friend who I saw just over a week ago is now having to isolate because she was in contact with a pupil at her school who has Covid. Actually has it! I'm terrified! It is so close to home!"
Then there are the types who are anxious, love the details of the rules etc "Oh my goodness, I'd be terrified! I hope you are OK. Shouldn't Mr HyperHippo isolate too as he is at risk now."

I think majority of people are just doing their thing, coping in their own way and it all comes down to personality. Times are weird and it brings out all sorts in people!