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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give up Facebook?

63 replies

Namechange8471 · 06/11/2020 22:43

Finally realising just how much time i spend procrastinating and generally wasting time on it.

The only good thing is keeping in touch with family and friends.

Has anyone give it up?
Has it been a good thing?

OP posts:
TrickorTreacle · 07/11/2020 00:07

I find forums more of a personal experience, more involving because people write responses to each other.

Facebookers don't tend to respond and instead they prefer to add up their "likes" count which is a more impersonal experience.

I'm still on FB now but not really sure what I'm doing on there iyswim. I check it every 6 weeks or so, spend half an hour writing responses to posts and not expecting any responses back.

With forums, I put attention into it and so do other forumites. Facebook I find is very 1-sided.

davekim · 07/11/2020 00:08

DH and I did it 18 months ago.

It is honestly so liberating!

Wintereconomyplan · 07/11/2020 00:10

Choose the people you have on it and voila it works so much better for you.

Coffeeand · 07/11/2020 00:39

What wintereconomy said. I didn’t have it for many years and went back on this year as we moved countries so it’s vital for that.
I have never posted, and have 40 something friends who all sent me requests.
But it’s been great to meet new people locally- I cycle a lot and can always find new people to ride with in my various groups, or get advice if I need it.
I’m not interested in curating my life on there, but I’ve made it work for me. Generally these kinds of ‘giving up social media and never looking back’ themes are just because you’re friends with people that post shite or have lots of holidays or something. You can chose how you use Facebook.

Dita73 · 07/11/2020 05:07

I got rid of it about five years ago and I wish I’d done it sooner. In the end it just irritated me but I still felt I needed to look at it. One day I just thought “bollocks to this” and deleted it. So glad I did

isthismylifenow · 07/11/2020 05:27

Haven't been on fbook since April. I deleted the app from my phone but not the account so if I really wanted to, I can use the laptop. I was going through a tough time and just could not cope with the negativity. When I go to bed at night, I used to spend ages on fb 'catching up'. Now I read books, listen to music, spend more time with the DC. I was shocked how much time I wasted on it.

I know I have about 35 messages in messenger that I haven't read. Those who need to get in touch with me have number phone number, so if it was important I am sure they would have.

It's satisfyingly freeing.

garlictwist · 07/11/2020 05:29

I am on Facebook because I'm a member of a couple of groups for my hobby. If you check it on the app it alerts you if anyone's posted in the group. So you don't need to waste time scrolling through the feed. I probably spend about thirty seconds a week on it. So you don't need to delete it entirely if you have useful contacts there.

Anordinarymum · 07/11/2020 05:34

I think its ok if you don't invest too much into it.

I deleted my account some years ago after someone deliberately posted photos of me taken at a wedding without my permission inciting certain people to say really horrible things. I was confused as to why they did it as I thought they were a friend. It turned out they did it to cause mischief, but I was the one who was hurt and the people who bitched about me got off scot free. No time for that sort of rubbish

Gobbycop · 07/11/2020 05:49

I find regardless of settings all I get is group and liked pages in news feed.

Hardly anything from actual friends. Then days later I'll get a friend update when I'm looking at most recent.

It's tedious, I'm spending way less time on. It now.

rocketspin · 07/11/2020 05:58

I still have fb and use it but I'm extremely selective who is on there, no work colleagues and no acquaintances, it's strictly family only. That works for me.

madcow88 · 07/11/2020 06:00

I got rid nearly 2 years ago and never looked back. For someone who had an account for approximately 13 years and put absolutely everything on there I thought I would find it much harder. I downloaded the news apps instead so I could keep up with current affairs. My relationship has improved massively and I really like the idea that no one knows anything about me anymore.

It's easier than you think it is.

areyoubeingserviced · 07/11/2020 06:02

I have never used FAKEBOOK.
I think that’s why my mental state is steady

footprintsintheslow · 07/11/2020 06:05

I second turning off notifications or deleting app from phone so it's more of a conscious decision to go on there.

Positivevibesonlyplease · 07/11/2020 06:16

I deleted mine. It’s really liberating!

noideabutstilltrying · 07/11/2020 06:17

I deleted FB, Instagram and Twitter a couple of years ago. Just use MN.

It all got a bit much to be honest. Too much fakery and anger.

I'm much happier without the apps. I now read books more and I don't feel the need to keep checking my phone which helps during work hours

Chickychickydodah · 07/11/2020 06:22

I’m thinking of deleting, I’m fed up of the same stuff everyday and the constant adverts. I only keep it because my of my family lives abroad,

Crakeandoryx · 07/11/2020 06:33

Reduced right down and feel so much better for it. I'm still on but only look when I need to find something out like school communication.

It's very liberating

Classicbrunette · 07/11/2020 07:00

I like Fb for my hobby groups too. You don’t have to see your friends boasting about their sad lives. I’ve turned off certain friends posts.. the ones that post every five minutes more or less about the same stuff. If I want to see what they’ve done recently I just go into their profile. And if I have friends on my list that I don’t want to see what I’m up to I block their view of my profile. It’s just a case of managing FB better to suit you.

justanotherneighinparadise · 07/11/2020 07:02

I have to keep a presence on there because of my child’s school. But the only things that come through my newsfeed is the groups I’ve joined. I really enjoy it now 🤭.

WonderMoon · 07/11/2020 07:12

I deleted mine about 7 years ago - definitely the best thing for me to do.
I got sick of seeing the same passive aggressive/self promoting, weird posts. I was friends with school friends who I had not spoken to or seen since leaving school, it felt odd that they knew all about my life and vice versa yet we were not really friends anymore. I used to post whole albums of holiday pics etc and think 'oooo can't put that one up' it just got abit silly.
I thought I'd miss it but I never did.

satnighttakeaway · 07/11/2020 07:13

@areyoubeingserviced

I have never used FAKEBOOK. I think that’s why my mental state is steady
How can something you've never used affect your mental state? You can't know what it would be like if you had been on Facebook and the fact that you call it a childish name capitals suggests that for reason itis affecting you.
ScubaSteven · 07/11/2020 07:36

It depends how invested you get. I've hidden/unfollowed anyone who spouts drivel because it's exhausting. I've kept fb though because it's the best way to find out about events etc to attend online for the DC. I also follow pages rather than people so I don't get much in the way of 'status updates' compared to information from pages I like.

I think it's easy enough to turn into something you find useful/enjoyable now, not like a few years ago where it was all about personal status updates and the metaphorical soapbox rants being rammed down our throats.

Most of my 'follows' are linked to my job and I find it interesting. Couldn't tell you what my ex classmates had for tea although I expect that info is there if I search enough.

lobster8 · 07/11/2020 07:47

I deleted FB about 18 months ago and it was liberating! I still have messenger for the couple of people I talk to using that. I found fb depressing, I had lots of 'friends' on fb who I didn't want to be seeing my business, nor did I want to be looking at there's but it would have been really socially awkward to unfriend. I also spent too much time looking at the lives of people I didn't like and feeling quietly judgemental, which is really not the person I want to be. Deleting it removed all these issues and I really haven't missed it at all!

Only downside is no market place which I used quite a bit so have considered on occasion setting up a blank fb under an alias and having no friends, just to be able to use market place.

I do have Instagram, but I don't post often and my profile is private. I only have a small handful of really good friends as followers and 90% of the pages I follow are artists or home decor pages or gardening pages so feels very different and not real life.

footprintsintheslow · 07/11/2020 07:49

I wish they'd bring out a separate marketplace app like messenger is separate.

LagunaBubbles · 07/11/2020 07:49

I dont understand these threads. Fb is only social media and not compulsory. Funny enough I enjoy it because I don't have arses on it as friends posting "drivel". But this is MN where lots of people who don't use it like to act superior and look down on people who do . Hey ho.