To think if you like eating something, you'll eat it in most forms?

[Nobodyknowsme101]

My 13yo has been fussy with food literally since birth! Very restricted diet.
What recently is driving me mad is the fact that I've noticed he'll eat a certain food in one dish but refuse to eat it in another saying he doesnt like it 🙄
Examples :
•Will eat cheese on a pizza but insists he hates cheese and wont eat it in burgers, pasta, on potato etc.
•Eats chicken nuggets/breaded chicken burgers and roast chicken as part of a roast dinner but refuses chicken in any other form saying he doesnt like it such as cold in a sandwich or in homemade chicken nuggets which to me were not much different in taste to the frozen ones.
•Will eat fish from the chip shop but insists he doesnt like fish when I've given him homemade fish nuggets or even frozen fish fingers.
•Will eat bolognese or chilli from a jar but when I've done a homemade version it's too disgusting for him to even try. (Despite me and others trying it and it hardly tastes any different to the jarred ones)

I can't think of anything I like to eat that i dont like at all in certain dishes. I have preferences for the way I eat things but I cant say oh I love scrambled egg but hate poached because at the end of the day egg tastes like egg in most forms surely!?

Is he just being fussy or am I being unreasonable? Would love to hear feedback if you can relate to the way my son thinks because I just cant understand it 🙃

For me it’s very much based around texture and smell.

Btw, if you cooked very thin oven fries and salted them on the oven tray then mixed them around on the tray before serving so they more closely mimic a McDonald fry, you may have more success with them. Over time you can gradually reduce the salt before gradually increasing the thickness of the chip or trying to move on to a wedge for example.

Oven chips are very dry compared a deep fried chip. I’m not surprised he likes one and not the other. Not surprised at all.

Could you compromise with him? Look up what he needs in terms of calcium, protein etc, look up the foods that can deliver that and let him choose which he would like. If you do the research part together, then he can see that broccoli will give him calcium so if he doesn't want any dairy, he can eat that instead and that way you don't have to worry about nutrition and it takes the pressure off him because he gets to choose the foods he wants and try new things at his own pace.

Suspect he likes the taste of bought processed food with all its additional salt and flavourings rather than your homemade Healthier version. My daughter is 17 and has become like this. It’s very frustrating .

It may also be that processed food is very consistent. Fresh food and home-made food varies each time.

You’ll find in a year or so he’ll eat everything. The more fuss you make the worse he’ll get. Can you get him to help with cooking the evening meal, maybe if you get h8m interested in preparing and cooking food his attitude will change. Take hints off BBC programs such as eat food for less

I think this kind of thing is quite common. Not eating cheese except on pizza seems particularly common. I wonder if its because there are so many flavours at the same time that the cheese isn't a particularly strong feature.
My elder son is a pasta fiend - he would literally eat it for every meal if I allowed it - but he doesn't like fusilli. He will eat it if no other pasta is available but would never choose it. He even moans a bit if I cook linguine instead of spaghetti whilst I am thinking to myself "FFS it is slightly thicker spaghetti, how can you even tell?!"
On the other hand he says he can't tell the difference between Coke Zero and Diet Coke whereas to me they taste like completely different drinks.
We all have different tastes and perceptions. I think these things are often as much about texture as flavour. That can definitely be the issue with shop bought sauces vs homemade. Jars often seem to be much smoother than anything I make at home.
At the opposite end of the spectrum I am sometimes surprised by people who say they don't like foods that have a wide variety of types or ways to serve them. Like fish. There's a massive range of types with widely varying flavours and textures but I know loads of people who won't touch at in any form at all.

(Sorry x-post re Gregg's sausage roll. No intention to imply your DS has autism or anything like it. But clearly Gregg's sausage rolls have something going for them )

I used to have a weird thing for raw sausage meat, had to be beef

That is weird! At least it wasn't pork, though, which would have the disadvantage of being dangerous too.

Eats chicken nuggets/breaded chicken burgers and roast chicken as part of a roast dinner but refuses chicken in any other form saying he doesnt like it such as cold in a sandwich or in homemade chicken nuggets which to me were not much different in taste to the frozen ones.

I am not a fussy eater but I totally get this one. Especially cold chicken in a sandwich, I actually find it often totally indigestible and likely to get stuck on my throat - might work with a lot of Mayo - but otherwise definitely better kept and put in a curry. And shop bought chicken nuggets often have a lot of added fat/water which does make them more digestible.

The eggs was a very bad example I can see 🤣 it was just the only thing I could think of that can be served many ways and I am obviously in the minority that I like most things whichever way they are cooked.

If he would just be more open to trying things I'm sure he would discover things he doesnt realise he likes. Hopefully as he grows older he might be more open to the idea.

Textural thing x

He clearly has sensory issues with food. It maybe sounds scary but it’s much more common than we expect. Some people loves dunking biscuits in their tea whereas some people (like me) nearly sick seeing it. I know quite a few people who can stand rice pudding but happily eat cooked rice. DD has a friend who can’t even see cheesecake but ate cheese in all other forms. Things like not eating fruits with skin on, choosing the same brand, be particular about texture and smells they all are very telling. It’s difficult to understand the difference if you are not like this. The thing is that as an adult you have control over your choices whereas children should often follow their parent’s choices.

I can be the same at times. I love pork pies but i detest roast pork. I love roast potatoes but hate mashed potatoes. I can never seem to make a sandwich that is tasty but i love sandwiches from gregs any day and i will only eat fresh salmon. Tinned salmon tastes revolting and it smells like dog meat.

I loathe raw celery, but put celery in most stews and soups.

I cant stand egg sandwiches..love egg on toast though

Sorry
“ can’t stand rice pudding “

I sympathise with you trying to find things your D.C. will enjoy bit you are BU.
I love eggs cooked most ways but hate fried eggs.

I also like cheese on its own or fully melted into a sauce but cannot bear it partially melted and stringy lying on the top of foods (mainly pizza). This seems to be surprisingly common.

I really dislike peas but love mushy peas or pea soup.

I don’t think it’s unusual.
I love chocolate (bars etc) but really dislike chocolate cakes, hot chocolate etc.
I’ve always been a picky eater but I’ve managed.

@Dollywilde - hah - it didn't occur to me that you're my sister! How you doing up North?

Thank you all for your insights, I'm really beginning to see if from his point of view. I get moaned at for serving him crap food all the time by my family but they just dont understand he wont eat anything else. So maybe I can explain the sensory thing to them.

I realised I had no rice the other day and only had the microwave pouches so I made him that and he immediately questioned why it was different and didn't like it.

If he was blindfolded and given a taste test he could tell the difference between anything I reckon!

Texture for me too. If an apple or tomato is the wrong texture I can't eat it. Also Marmite is gritty but Vegemite is lovely and smooth and creamy.

Sometimes foods jar when put together - so I can quite happily eat jelly, sponge cake, cream and sherry, but the thought of eating trifle makes me want to sever my own throat.

For the chicken nuggets try using thigh meat not breast meat which gets far too dry as a nugget.

I can’t believe you think those things are comparable!

Will eat cheese on a pizza but insists he hates cheese and wont eat it in burgers, pasta, on potato etc.

Mozzarella is very different from cheddar!

•Eats chicken nuggets/breaded chicken burgers and roast chicken as part of a roast dinner but refuses chicken in any other form saying he doesnt like it such as cold in a sandwich or in homemade chicken nuggets which to me were not much different in taste to the frozen ones

Cold chicken has a different taste and texture from hot and it depends what part of the bird the meat is from! Factory chicken will have all sort of flavourings added.

Will eat fish from the chip shop but insists he doesnt like fish when I've given him homemade fish nuggets or even frozen fish fingers

Chippy fish is actual fish not pulverised fish bits. I eat that but not processed fish. The batter is also very different!

•Will eat bolognese or chilli from a jar but when I've done a homemade version it's too disgusting for him to even try

Again jars are full of additives which give a very different taste and texture. I eat homemade but would never eat jars of these.

Accept that he just has much more advanced taste buds than you. There’s nothing wrong with that!

I thought you were then @Nobodyknowsme101 but mine won't even eat bolognaise 😂

I blame pigheadedness and sensory issues here.....

@dolphinpose nope SE London thank god phew! 😂

OP, DS2 is autistic and was like this as a child. We just had to be really patient and not make an issue out of it (I really do know how hard that is. It's frustrating and upsetting to have a child reject your home cooking.)

With a typical child, you have to introduce foods about twenty times before they try it or settle to it. With autistic children, or ones with similar sensitivity to texture, you have to introduce foods between 200 and 2000 times.

Stuff that helped us was:
Teach him the major food groups and explain why they are all really important. Explain which foods make him strong, make his brain sharp, grow his bones and teeth etc. I used to say, you really don't have to enjoy it, but if you can manage to eat it, it will help you grow strong muscles/bones/teeth etc. Explain why 50/50 white bread is better for him than plain white and suggest he takes one bite. If he can handle it, it;'s better for him. If not, no problem, eat white.

Put food from all food groups on the table and make dinners self serve. Just say - choose a protein, a carb and 2/3 of your 5 a day. Let him control what he chooses from each group, and what quantity he takes. Make no fuss. Then after a few times explain what quantity he needs.

Always have some frozen aisle rubbish standing by and get him to prep it himself as soon as he is old enough. he might get bored and eat what you make instead.

DS was so fussy that he was skeletal and barely ate for the first eight years of his life. (Affected his growth really badly, but hey, he's alive.)
Then he ate about six or seven things and nothing else for about four years. Then he suddenly got interested in food and started eating and over eating.

Now he's mega health conscious and really likes experimenting with food (he's 18.) He's no fussier than anyone else. It just took years and years of patience to get him to that point.