To think if you like eating something, you'll eat it in most forms?

[Nobodyknowsme101]

My 13yo has been fussy with food literally since birth! Very restricted diet.
What recently is driving me mad is the fact that I've noticed he'll eat a certain food in one dish but refuse to eat it in another saying he doesnt like it 🙄
Examples :
•Will eat cheese on a pizza but insists he hates cheese and wont eat it in burgers, pasta, on potato etc.
•Eats chicken nuggets/breaded chicken burgers and roast chicken as part of a roast dinner but refuses chicken in any other form saying he doesnt like it such as cold in a sandwich or in homemade chicken nuggets which to me were not much different in taste to the frozen ones.
•Will eat fish from the chip shop but insists he doesnt like fish when I've given him homemade fish nuggets or even frozen fish fingers.
•Will eat bolognese or chilli from a jar but when I've done a homemade version it's too disgusting for him to even try. (Despite me and others trying it and it hardly tastes any different to the jarred ones)

I can't think of anything I like to eat that i dont like at all in certain dishes. I have preferences for the way I eat things but I cant say oh I love scrambled egg but hate poached because at the end of the day egg tastes like egg in most forms surely!?

Is he just being fussy or am I being unreasonable? Would love to hear feedback if you can relate to the way my son thinks because I just cant understand it 🙃

I’ll eat tinned tomatoes in spag Bol/ chilli. I’ll eat tomato in salad. Ketchup is disgusting as are all tomato based sauces used for pasta and pizza!
Also roast chicken, yes. Nuggets, burger etc. No. Nor cold chicken in sandwiches.

I eat scrambled eggs every morning but poached eggs look like snot and are an abomination.

I think the cheese only on pizza thing is quite common? I know a few people who would say the same.

My dd was like this she is nearing 30 eats a lot of things she wouldn't but still no cheese unless its on bread and cooked it was bloody frustrating I just left her to it didn't force it,

I adore chocolate.
Hate chocolate sauce, chocolate syrup, chocolate ice cream, chocolate milkshakes.
Different things legitimately taste different to different people due to palette, taste buds and so on.

oh just remembered dh doesn't like tomatoes but tomato sauces are fine!

I get where he's coming from as even setting texture aside, things can taste different when cooked differently. So I like raw tomato but hate it when it's been grilled as it just tastes so much stronger.

Beyond that it is texture for me I like scrambled egg and (very) hard boiled but can't bear the mushyness of poached or fried the idea of the yolk running out repels me although I love a runny caramel chocolate or a gooey chocolate pudding). Also I will eat potato anyway except boiled.

I can't stand baked beans and potato it makes me feel queasy but beans on toast or with chips I'm happy.

What happens when you offer

'do you want the special pizza cheese on your burger/pasta or just normal burger cheese?'

'Do you want roast chicken chicken nuggets, made with the same chicken as we have for roast chicken, or just chicken nuggets from the freezer'?

& have you tried serving his bolognese 'in a jar' ie 'do you want my home made bolognese on your plate, or bolognese in a jar'

@deciduousperennial when you say it like that it makes complete sense.
He's even fussy over the type of chicken nugget he likes so if I buy the wrong one I get told off for that too! Nobody in my family will cook for him as he wont eat it and we are limited as to where we can eat out or what takeaway we can have that include him.

Trying to think of other examples
•He will eat white bread but not brown or best of both
•No form of oven chips but will eat KFC or McDonalds fries
•Will only eat the sausage rolls from Gregg's.
He just prefers takeaway crap lol

I can totally understand your child's views. Eg homemade things tend to taste very different from shop-bought things.

Suspect he likes the taste of bought processed food with all its additional salt and flavourings rather than your homemade Healthier version. My daughter is 17 and has become like this . It’s very frustrating .

I can see where he is coming from.

Fish from the chip shop is really moist inside because of the way it's been cooked and has a lovely crispy batter. Unless you're deep frying your own fish nuggets at home, they don't steam in the same way, so fish fingers cooked in the oven have more dry fish, taste more fishy to me, and aren't as crispy on the outside. Although I still like fish fingers, I much prefer chip shop fish so if I was fussy, I wouldn't like eating fish fingers.

Same with pizza, it's got mozzarella cheese on it which doesnt really taste of anything and is creamy - its quite different to cheese on top of a baked potato which is normally cheddar and a lot stronger tasting.

Bought food normally has a lot more sugar so maybe he has got used to this? Maybe try adding a tablespoon of sugar and some salt to your food if you dont already. I know it makes it less healthy but it's better fresh veg and food with a little bit of salt and sugar than a ready made version

I'm fussy with food I wish I wasn't one example of a food I will only eat in one form is mushrooms, I will eat them fried after frying pork chops and only then, I hate them in anything else cant stand mushroom soup, or mushrooms on a pizza, or even mushrooms fried after cooking something else eg steak

I am a fussy eater. A lot of it is about textures for me.
But some ingredients do take differently depending on how they are prepared. Take eggs for example. I'm fine with them in cake, I'd consider a very well cooked omelette. But I couldn't deal with a packed egg egg sitting there wobbling at me.

I can't eat cooked vegetables. I'm okay with most of them raw, but the taste and texture changes once they are cooked.

My daughter loved chicken tikka masala from the local Indian takeaway when at my neighbours house and enjoyed it - but she didn't like it when she had it at ours two weeks later 😂

It gets better, honest!

Your child eats the exact same as me other than the homemade chilli/Bolognese!

I’m also funny with potatoes - can’t stand boiled or jacket but love chips, mash and roast.
I love poached and boiled eggs but can’t stand scrambled and don’t eat the white of fried!

No. I'm not a fussy eater but I completely agree with your DS that the same ingredient / dish can be experienced very differently in different forms and recipes.

You mention eggs so flippantly! They are about the most varied single form of food I can think of! As a child, I did not like egg yolk and could no eat runny egg yolk, especially as part of a fried egg. I was happy to eat egg sandwiches, scrambled egg and omlette though. I might have been able to eat a hard-boiled egg, maybe.

Similarly with fresh tomatoes vs tomato soup, sauce etc.

Texture plays a huge role. Specific flavours do too and the over-all sensation of eating the thing.

I like fried eggs or poached eggs. Can’t stand them boiled or scrambled. 🤷🏼‍♀️

This sounds a lot like me as a child. In fact I was exactly the same with chicken and fish. I ate very limited vegetables, only liked chips but not baked potato or mash. I gradually increased what I would eat and early 20's would eat everything including carrots and broccoli which would previously have made me sick if i was forced to eat it. I'm really hoping my children will not have these funny eating habits.

I cant say oh I love scrambled egg but hate poached because at the end of the day egg tastes like egg in most forms surely!?

As a child I used to like omelettes but loathe scrambled egg. And I couldn't bear any hard-boiled or solidified bits of yolk in a boiled/fried/poached egg. Mostly texture as pp have said. As an adult I am fine with all these these things. I was quite a fussy eater as a child but as an adult I am fine with most things.

Children do have much more sensitive palates than adults. And some children are super-sensitive to variations in taste and texture. Children with autism often have really extreme hypersenstivities - I knew one lad whose diet consisted only of the inside of white bread and Gregg's sausage rolls - and they had to be Greggs, he knew if his Mum put a different brand in a Gregg's bag.

He's even fussy over the type of chicken nugget he likes so if I buy the wrong one I get told off for that too! Nobody in my family will cook for him as he wont eat it and we are limited as to where we can eat out or what takeaway we can have that include him.

One of the problems about being super-sensitive is that life becomes very unpredictable. Things that taste "the same" to everyone else are "different" to them. People say they're giving you one thing and you are looking forward to it and then you eat it and it's completely different. So children can become anxious and mistrustful about eating and that can make the sensitivies and refusals worse.

I've just remembered; I love sliced cheddar, but can't bear it grated in a sandwich or salad.

@Ariela

What happens when you offer

'do you want the special pizza cheese on your burger/pasta or just normal burger cheese?'

'Do you want roast chicken chicken nuggets, made with the same chicken as we have for roast chicken, or just chicken nuggets from the freezer'?

& have you tried serving his bolognese 'in a jar' ie 'do you want my home made bolognese on your plate, or bolognese in a jar'

Unless someone is either extremely young/naive or stupid, this is ridiculous. I seriously doubt he believes the cheese on pizza is special, it just tastes different to him because of the way it's cooked and the other flavours it's combined with.

I like omelette, but hate boiled or poached eggs. I don't believe the omelette eggs are different or special, but the way something is cooked does change its flavour.

And when it comes to sauces from jars/homemade - they genuinely have different ingredients so of course they will taste different! Personally, I love home made bolognese, but wouldn't touch the jar stuff as it tastes full of sugar, utterly revolting.

I totally get your son. I was always called a fussy eater until I was diagnosed with an eating disorder called ARFID and then suddenly it all made sense.

You mention eggs so flippantly! They are about the most varied single form of food I can think of!

I agree! I love omelette, like egg muffins, will have scrambled (but wouldn't choose it on a menu tbh), and will eat eggs when they are cooked in a sauce or a cake. Otherwise, I hate all the other kinds. They have a different taste and texture in every form they come in.

[quote Nobodyknowsme101]@deciduousperennial when you say it like that it makes complete sense.
He's even fussy over the type of chicken nugget he likes so if I buy the wrong one I get told off for that too! Nobody in my family will cook for him as he wont eat it and we are limited as to where we can eat out or what takeaway we can have that include him.

Trying to think of other examples
•He will eat white bread but not brown or best of both
•No form of oven chips but will eat KFC or McDonalds fries
•Will only eat the sausage rolls from Gregg's.
He just prefers takeaway crap lol[/quote]
None of those things are surprising to me at all. I have one who is very similar. If you’re on Instagram go and follow kids.eat.in.color and autism.nutritionist (the second one isn’t just for autistic people btw).

Both are brilliant resources for helping ‘picky eaters’ expand their ranges and get more trusting around different foods. But you’re going to need to get your head around the fact that it’s not just taste, and a huge part of it will be sensory-based because of textures/smells/how things feel to fingers or cutlery, a big part of it will be trust-based, and another big part will be influenced by your language, reactions, and behaviour to his eating habits and patterns.

It’s complex and not as simple as ‘chilli is chilli’.