To ask why am I so nervous about resigning?

[Itsasecret85]

Been working there for serval years but scared shitless to hand my notice in, but don't know why.

I want to leave. Plse give me the courage to resign! I have never resigned from a job before - im 45 for goodness sake what is wrong with me. I've typed the letter and email but cannot bring myself to press send :-(

Are you a people pleaser? Scared of letting people down? I felt like that when I was considering quitting my job. If so, just remember that they will manage and be fine. Good luck with whatever you do next!

You are on the change curve - it's high emotion - fear etc.

There are good reasons to be fearful and you do need to walk yourself through them

Often when you hand in your notice, people's attitude to you changes. You are seen as some sort of traitor, disloyal and with this sort of ostracize you a bit. Not always, but that is the worst part. You stop getting invited to meetings etc.

Other than that, my experience of it is just a bit of admin sorting out wages, handing back property etc etc which is totally fine.

Get it sent - your new employer is also relying on you sending it!

Just do it. What is the worst they can do? Absolutely nothing.

Years ago I resigned from a job. I reported to the ceo and told him after a meeting. He had a hissy fit and stormed out of the boardroom. It was hilarious. Think rumplestiltskin in an expensive suit. It made my notice period an amusing time - he refused to speak to me, but it was only a couple of months and then I was gone!

Yes totally a people pleaser @Nikori
I feel terribly guilty, especially as it could be hard to replace me quickly due to the unsociable hours I work

Change is scary!! Even positive change. You can do it.

You are taking it personally and you feel that you will offend / upset your co workers by resigning. It is just your job at the end of the day.

Put the shoe on the other foot - if they needed to make redundancies they would go ahead and do it. If you didn't get the promotion, pay rise you wanted you would just get told. Have either of these things ever happened to you?. If so remember how you felt then and take strength from that to get on and send that letter /tell you boss/tell HR.

Think about the reasons that made you seek new work / want to move on. of course its a bit scary if you don't do this regularly.

Why are you moving?

Well then they should have treated you better! Fuck 'em!

This is a second job, im leaving to give myself a better home-work balance and selfishly more time to myself. I've been there 5 years now and want my evenings back. I no longer need the money.
I'm hovering over the send button !

Also don't fall into the trap of thinking you will be hard to replace. You won't be - there are lots of people out there who need to work!

Can someone come to my house and press the send button for me plse

After 5 years of doing an unsociable 2nd job they are unlikely to surprised. You may well find one of your colleagues wants your hours and is delighted you are off!.

As soon as you send you will feel better

Count to 5 and just do it

Find your inner Klingon

With picture

Do it, OP. In this climate, they'll have 100 candidates applying for the job tomorrow...

Oh god I've been there. Even with jobs that I hated more than anything in the world and I would still be emotional and nervous - and oh my goodness having to find a spare moment to call my manager into a 'meeting' ugh! They've always been great though, employees leaving is part of work, part of management, part of the job.

So what if you are hard to replace? Not your problem!

@Itsasecret85

This is a second job, im leaving to give myself a better home-work balance and selfishly more time to myself. I've been there 5 years now and want my evenings back. I no longer need the money. I'm hovering over the send button !

It isn’t selfish to want more time for yourself! These all sound like excellent reasons to make a change. I hope you’ve sent it :-)

Just do it OP. Your replacement is not your problem.
Plus, as there are so many job shortages right now I imagine this will be easier than you think.

Sent! OMG ONG. I cannot bring myself to check my inbox for the rest of the day as I don't want to see the reply

Think about the person who is going to get your job and how happy they'll be when they receive their offer of employment. You're making that possible!

Then press that button.

Well done!!

Good job!! Enjoy your evenings

I’m glad you did it, I was 56 and left my job as I couldn’t cope with the stupid hours etc. I’ve always done the right thing and been a people pleaser too but sometimes you just have to do it for yourself.

☺️