To think this is a huge data breach?!

[whattothinknow]

Hi all,

⚠️ Sorry this is a long post!! ⚠️

So I left the company I worked for, for 4 years - around 8 months ago.
I had made a really good, life long (or so I thought) 'friend' and we worked side by side in the office together for the entirety of my time within the company.
We were really close, would talk about everything - she was the first to congratulate me on my house move, my engagement etc and was always super lovely and supportive. I found I really confided in her like a best friend, and she did the same to me.
We would go out after work, on weekends.. sleep over at each others house after nights out, etc.
I was always going above and beyond for her, doing favours, lending money etc and didn't ever think twice about doing so.. after all, we were best friends.

When it came down to organising my wedding, she was there for me. She came to my dress appointment, was there when I said yes to the dress.
She came to the venue viewings, and was there when we said yes to our dream venue..

I asked her to be my maid of honour - and she was delighted and cried her eyes out at the gesture - it felt very genuine and I was honestly over the moon to have found such a great friend in a work colleague.

Fast forward a little - I left the company at the 4 year mark and moved onto a different department in the same business.
We were no longer sitting together in the office, and I was commuting to a different area of the country for work (same business)

We slowly lost contact - I would always reach out to see how she's getting on, check on her and be there for her. She never responded.
She would dig for information from me as and when she wanted to know gossip or what was going on in the company, but when I suggested meeting / wedding planning she would completely ghost me.. although I could see that she was online and active on various social media platforms constantly.. it made me feel quite uneasy and as though I'd done something wrong?!

I was then getting constant messages from another lady within our team, again digging for personal information from me - how much the wedding venue is, how much my dress was, how my relationship is going and how much my new salary is. I didn't feel comfortable disclosing any of this information, and didn't even really speak to this lady in the first place so this felt very odd.
I confided in my 'friend' and she apologised in the other colleagues behalf and said she will have a word and ask what's going on and why she was asking such sensitive information. Turns out from chatting to a different ex. Colleague in the office, the 'friend' was asking the other colleagues to dig for information from me and hound me. Really confused by this as I left the company on really good terms and was on good terms with this friend, before now.

I have since heard from two ex colleagues that I was fairly good friends with, to tell me that 'friend' had been awful and snide behind my back, even whilst I still worked there and sat NEXT to her in the same office (so before my move within the business).

She said awful, awful things about DP, claimed that I was with him for his wealth and that alone.

She said my engagement ring was tacky and fake, and way too big and 'slutty' for her liking and I didn't deserve such a large statement ring (I can assure you that it is a gorgeous subtle ring, and it is real, not that this should even matter as it's the act and the thought that means the most)

She was nasty and patronising about my weight, telling everybody that I 'barely squeezed' into my wedding dress (she was there when I said yes to the dress) and it made me look like a whale.. 😔

She was openly bitter and jealous when DP bought me a lovely diamond bracelet for my birthday.. I wore it every day and when she first caught a glimpse of it she asked me who got it for me, where from, if it was genuine etc.
I found this strange but replied 'yes it is genuine, it matches my ring, I adore it - it's so special to me!' And she didn't respond to that. Should have thought at that point, that that was strange.. 🤦‍♀️

What I heard next from the two ex colleagues completely blew me away. I was absolutely distraught and still feel well and truly betrayed. I have been in tears over this 😔

During my time in the company, I was having disputes with the management over my level of pay. We were on a commission scheme and I was doing a different role to the rest of my colleagues in the office (the role was hugely demanding, used to take 5 staff members to do this role but sadly as they left one by one, nobody was employed in their place so if came down to me carrying this role out alone) I was taking home £500/£600 less than the rest of the team a month for doing 5 times the work that they were. Never once was I bitter about this to them, but it did hurt knowing I was being taken advantage of by the company..

The 'friend' decided one day when I was away on holiday, go log into my PC (who knows how as it's all private passwords - but she did sit next to me so wonder if she made note of them...)
She logged into my HR system, and decided to scroll through my PAY SLIPS and check that I was 'bringing home less money than everyone else' for herself.

I feel utterly betrayed by this, and my blood boils when I think about it.
I feel like my personal details have been exposed. She can get no end of personal details from those payslips.

If she had just asked me to see them, I'd have probably shown her myself.. I had nothing to hide and wasn't fabricating my situation with the pay..
She was my maid of honour. Someone I confided in and thought of as my best friend and she's completely betrayed me.

I am now torn and don't know what to do. This to me, screams GDPR breach but the problem
is, is that I've got no evidence of her doing it.. only two eye witnesses.

I don't know what to do.

Am I being unreasonable to be completely gutted by this?! I can't seem to let this slide ☹️

You thought you could trust her. Now you think you can trust your ex-colleagues. Clearly one or the other are not trustworthy, but it seems to me you are not the best at determining which! Were you wrong to trust your friend, or are you wrong to trust your ex-colleagues?

Which version of what happened is more likely? Which feels more truthful to you?

To me, it seems much more likely that your friend was sincere for four years but struggles with keeping up relationships when you don't naturally see each other regularly. Then the gossippy and bitchy colleagues made the situation worse (they might well have been telling your friend all sorts of bad things about you, just as they were telling you all sorts of bad things about her). This scenario seems much more plausible and likely to me than the colleague's version, which just doesn't add up, really:

• they claim your friend accessed your payslips, when this is implausible as you kept your password safe (and do you honestly believe she would have done this, whilst being witnessed by two people at that?)
• they claim, in essence, that your friend was only pretending to be your friend. Does this really ring true to you? If she was only pretending, why would she have stopped pretending after four years?
• they claim your friend did and said all sorts of awful things about you. You say yourself that this doesn't feel right. Why believe your colleagues???

What did your friend actually do wrong, that you know directly, not based on tales from your ex-colleagues?

From what you've written, the only thing she's done wrong is to stop engaging with you very much, stop replying to messages, after you had left.
There could be all sorts of reasons (not excuses) for this, but all the rest sounds terribly like the colleagues were jealous (of you, your happiness, your friendship with friend) and used the opportunity when you moved, to drive a wedge between you and friend. Who was it that made insensitive inquiries? Your colleague, not your friend (but she blamed your friend. She didn't have to do what your friend asked, you know, she chose to do so - if your friend even asked her to in the first place!)

@ShowingOut @dontdisturbmenow thank you- I agree.
I didn't leave on bad terms so don't want to ruin that now. I do feel hurt, maybe it's more the fact that I feel this way.
X

[quote whattothinknow]@Cocomarine thanks ☺️

Yes she was checking openly in the office in front of other staff and claimed I had given her permission.

The eye witnesses have said they will provide a statement. Xx [/quote]
In that case report it! Those 2 people are probably relying on you doing so as you have nothing to lose!

Or just walk away and forget you ever knew any of them! They no longer exist, as far as you are concerned. Let them work it out for themselves.

Choose whichever course is best for you! And don't let anyone guilt you either way!

@brilliotic yes this is very possible and I did consider this too, however I have come across the nasty side of ex 'friend' on an occasion myself, so I know that she CAN be nasty although stupidly this didn't put me off at the time.

I think it's one of those things where I'm never going to know the truth either way.

@CuriousaboutSamphire I think I'm going to cut my losses. It's sadly a case where I don't know who's being true and genuine. I feel especially hurt and saddened by the situation but happy that I've moved on and away from toxic workplaces and people. X

The eye witnesses have said they will provide a statement.

If they're still friends with this woman, I'd take this with a pinch of salt. They've been in on her gossiping about you, they've been trying to get more gossip from you, they're no more trustworthy than she is.

I'd cut them all out.

[quote whattothinknow]@Cocomarine thanks ☺️

Yes she was checking openly in the office in front of other staff and claimed I had given her permission.

The eye witnesses have said they will provide a statement. Xx [/quote]
I don’t know this sounds fishy. If they saw this months and months ago, why wait to tell you until now? And why do they even need you to report it? They can report it to the HR without you having to do it. So why are these ex colleagues all suddenly concerned for you months after you left but also unwilling to be the ones actually reporting the incident to HR?

It’s not a GDPR breach, as PP have said, but it is an information security breach. Change all your passwords and memorable information as who know what else she may have gained access to. And report this to the company so that they can investigate. If she’s done it to you, she may have done it to others.

@Hayeahnobut yes totally agree. They are no longer friends and also don't work at the company anymore.

I really appreciate all of the varying opinions and views as it's making me see this in a different light. X

[quote whattothinknow]@CuriousaboutSamphire I think I'm going to cut my losses. It's sadly a case where I don't know who's being true and genuine. I feel especially hurt and saddened by the situation but happy that I've moved on and away from toxic workplaces and people. X [/quote]
Good choice!

I would report it especially if it can confirm and there’s eyewitness report.

@PlanDeRaccordement absolutely exactly what I thought too, although they've given me no reason not to believe them. I don't know. It all does seem very suspicious I agree.

It’s a lot of ‘he said’ - ‘she said’.

In reality she’s not your mate any more. Just get on with your own life and let go. Her loss it seems.

Probably be hard to trust people again I imagine. Not sure how you can trust your work ex work colleagues.

I personally would leave them to their own shit and get on with your life.

I would be deeply hurt and saddened by this too, personally you're best bet is to just leave it.
Don't contact her, don't try to contact her - just delete her number, off of social media and the works - it sounds like you have a nice stable relationship and other friends for a support system :) if that's who she really is then it's something she'll never have at her own doing - sorry this happened but sadly not everyone has good intentions x

@Dohrehmee @Blueroses99 see this is what I'm torn in. The sensible side of me says to leave it and I don't know for sure etc etc..
The other half of me says wait a minute, you know what she can be like and I wouldn't put this last her.. I should report this so that the company are aware for future.
It's really unlike me and completely not in my nature to cause a scene which is why I think I'm so torn.

[quote whattothinknow]@CuriousaboutSamphire I think I'm going to cut my losses. It's sadly a case where I don't know who's being true and genuine. I feel especially hurt and saddened by the situation but happy that I've moved on and away from toxic workplaces and people. X [/quote]
I hope I'm not being/going to be seen as ageist, but this is the sort of thing that we learn in our twenties. Rack it up to experience, and at least you came on here to get more opinions before going charging in!

You'll conduct yourself differently when it comes to workplace friendships now, and you've learned that if someone is nasty to/about other people, they'll do the same to/about you.

I think cutting your losses is a good choice. As you said, you left on good terms. This would be last thing the company will remember about you if you insert yourself into the situation. I wouldn’t touch it.

@EasttoWest yes it does seem that way, lots of she said this he said that etc. I completely understand that.
I've cut her out already and she knows she's not to be a part of my wedding. Xx

Please stop saying “said yes to the dress”

It sounds to me like she is jealous of what you have, although whether that’s because you were showing off by dragging her to expensive venues and dress fittings or because she’s unpleasant, we will never know.

You both sound really bloody childish and the friendship, or lack now thereof) sounds completely toxic. Disengage with your other ex-colleagues, stop feeding the drama, move on.

[quote whattothinknow]**@Dohrehmee* @Blueroses99* see this is what I'm torn in. The sensible side of me says to leave it and I don't know for sure etc etc..
The other half of me says wait a minute, you know what she can be like and I wouldn't put this last her.. I should report this so that the company are aware for future.
It's really unlike me and completely not in my nature to cause a scene which is why I think I'm so torn. [/quote]
Come on, be honest with yourself. You're doing this because you want to get back at her, not because you care about the company that was underpaying you.

As others have said it is a breach if it happened - you cannot access personal information without authority to do so.

Additionally you are obligated to keep data secure and if I was investigating (and I have done in exactly these circumstances) I’d want to know how your colleague had been able to utilise your password.

Either she saw you enter it; it was easy to guess or you’d shared it previously. In any event you are unlikely to come out if this without criticism.

You’re in a bit of a tricky position because if you are aware of/suspect a data breach your company policy likely obligated you to report it. If you don’t, given the levels of toxicity you are experiencing it’s not beyond possibility that this would be held against you.

There should be a DPO, information security lead or similar in your organisation. I’d report it to them in neutral terms: “I’ve been told my computer and payroll account were accessed whilst I was on leave”. They will be able to investigate if they think it’s necessary.

As for the “friend” don’t give the woman another thought.

Sorry but I have to ask...why do you keep saying "When I said yes to the dress" as though you're on the show!? It's bizarre!

@Betty94 thank you - I'm very giving and trusting and I wouldn't hesitate to say probably slightly naive too.
I have learned the hard way but know what to look out for in future friendships - I will never trust a work colleague in the way I did with her! X

I'm really surprised by some of the comments on here - hurtful but i suppose everyone has their views.

I said 'yes to the dress' because quite literally that is what I did.. the dress store were fab and made a lovely event out of it. It's a special time and this was special to me 😔

I don't feel like I've been childish, I thought I had a friendship with someone that basically threw it back in my face!

I don't want to get back at 'her' or the company, I just want to do what is right. It's over now and like some have said I don't and probably won't ever know for sure.

@AlwaysCheddar

The IT department would be able to tell if somebody logged onto your computer and given that you were presumably overseas on holiday at the time before covid, it’ll be easy to check

I worked with someone who did something similar. They were suspended immediately and the computer was taken away by IT to look at the history. The person was then sacked as the evidence was clear as day on the system.