To think this is a huge data breach?!

[whattothinknow]

Hi all,

⚠️ Sorry this is a long post!! ⚠️

So I left the company I worked for, for 4 years - around 8 months ago.
I had made a really good, life long (or so I thought) 'friend' and we worked side by side in the office together for the entirety of my time within the company.
We were really close, would talk about everything - she was the first to congratulate me on my house move, my engagement etc and was always super lovely and supportive. I found I really confided in her like a best friend, and she did the same to me.
We would go out after work, on weekends.. sleep over at each others house after nights out, etc.
I was always going above and beyond for her, doing favours, lending money etc and didn't ever think twice about doing so.. after all, we were best friends.

When it came down to organising my wedding, she was there for me. She came to my dress appointment, was there when I said yes to the dress.
She came to the venue viewings, and was there when we said yes to our dream venue..

I asked her to be my maid of honour - and she was delighted and cried her eyes out at the gesture - it felt very genuine and I was honestly over the moon to have found such a great friend in a work colleague.

Fast forward a little - I left the company at the 4 year mark and moved onto a different department in the same business.
We were no longer sitting together in the office, and I was commuting to a different area of the country for work (same business)

We slowly lost contact - I would always reach out to see how she's getting on, check on her and be there for her. She never responded.
She would dig for information from me as and when she wanted to know gossip or what was going on in the company, but when I suggested meeting / wedding planning she would completely ghost me.. although I could see that she was online and active on various social media platforms constantly.. it made me feel quite uneasy and as though I'd done something wrong?!

I was then getting constant messages from another lady within our team, again digging for personal information from me - how much the wedding venue is, how much my dress was, how my relationship is going and how much my new salary is. I didn't feel comfortable disclosing any of this information, and didn't even really speak to this lady in the first place so this felt very odd.
I confided in my 'friend' and she apologised in the other colleagues behalf and said she will have a word and ask what's going on and why she was asking such sensitive information. Turns out from chatting to a different ex. Colleague in the office, the 'friend' was asking the other colleagues to dig for information from me and hound me. Really confused by this as I left the company on really good terms and was on good terms with this friend, before now.

I have since heard from two ex colleagues that I was fairly good friends with, to tell me that 'friend' had been awful and snide behind my back, even whilst I still worked there and sat NEXT to her in the same office (so before my move within the business).

She said awful, awful things about DP, claimed that I was with him for his wealth and that alone.

She said my engagement ring was tacky and fake, and way too big and 'slutty' for her liking and I didn't deserve such a large statement ring (I can assure you that it is a gorgeous subtle ring, and it is real, not that this should even matter as it's the act and the thought that means the most)

She was nasty and patronising about my weight, telling everybody that I 'barely squeezed' into my wedding dress (she was there when I said yes to the dress) and it made me look like a whale.. 😔

She was openly bitter and jealous when DP bought me a lovely diamond bracelet for my birthday.. I wore it every day and when she first caught a glimpse of it she asked me who got it for me, where from, if it was genuine etc.
I found this strange but replied 'yes it is genuine, it matches my ring, I adore it - it's so special to me!' And she didn't respond to that. Should have thought at that point, that that was strange.. 🤦‍♀️

What I heard next from the two ex colleagues completely blew me away. I was absolutely distraught and still feel well and truly betrayed. I have been in tears over this 😔

During my time in the company, I was having disputes with the management over my level of pay. We were on a commission scheme and I was doing a different role to the rest of my colleagues in the office (the role was hugely demanding, used to take 5 staff members to do this role but sadly as they left one by one, nobody was employed in their place so if came down to me carrying this role out alone) I was taking home £500/£600 less than the rest of the team a month for doing 5 times the work that they were. Never once was I bitter about this to them, but it did hurt knowing I was being taken advantage of by the company..

The 'friend' decided one day when I was away on holiday, go log into my PC (who knows how as it's all private passwords - but she did sit next to me so wonder if she made note of them...)
She logged into my HR system, and decided to scroll through my PAY SLIPS and check that I was 'bringing home less money than everyone else' for herself.

I feel utterly betrayed by this, and my blood boils when I think about it.
I feel like my personal details have been exposed. She can get no end of personal details from those payslips.

If she had just asked me to see them, I'd have probably shown her myself.. I had nothing to hide and wasn't fabricating my situation with the pay..
She was my maid of honour. Someone I confided in and thought of as my best friend and she's completely betrayed me.

I am now torn and don't know what to do. This to me, screams GDPR breach but the problem
is, is that I've got no evidence of her doing it.. only two eye witnesses.

I don't know what to do.

Am I being unreasonable to be completely gutted by this?! I can't seem to let this slide ☹️

@PanamaPattie this is half the issue I've got. I've got the two ex colleagues telling me that this happened, but of coursework no solid evidence.
I don't for a second doubt that she has done it though.

@Suzi888 thank you. I can't believe how awful some people can be. I just feel so foolish having invested so much time into a friendship that I thought was going somewhere, to find out in the crappiest way that she's betrayed me. It's rubbish ☹️😤

@PlanDeRaccordement thanks for your view :) I definitely don't want to stir the pot and especially since I left in good terms, it was only 8 months ago that I left though.

I don't know. Maybe I'll leave it. I think I'm battling with myself, with both hurt and anger and it's a hard situation to on to have to deal with knowing someone could be so cruel 😣🤦‍♀️ x x

Does your work computer have an audit trail built into the system? If so, the IT maybe able to see if she logged into your account from her computer. Alternatively, will the two colleagues be willing to write a statement to her confirming that friend has done this.

If you haven’t got any solid proof, I suppose you could write a general letter.” ..it has come to my attention that x has possibly been accessing my personal account..., and if this were true, then confidentiality has been breached etc”.

It is a breach if it happened . But you don't know that it did. There is a lot of gossip going on and I'm surprised you've jumped so quickly to believe people you didn't count as close friends over someone you considered a best friend.
Also, I assume your colleague would say you had authorised her to check something on your computer and that you had given her the password.
Are you all very young? I've never known adults to have sleepovers or say yes to the dress. Anyway, chalk it up to experience. Stop gossiping with the people who are still there and think carefully about how you want to manage your professional relationships in your new workplace.

I think the company need to made aware, it’s a GDPR breach and she could go on to do this with someone else. Accessing sick notes etc ours are uploaded, I’m a housing manager and personally I’d want to made aware of any staff member doing this. An investigation should take place ideally.
I can understand that you’d want to put it behind you and move on though. Would she be likely to retaliate? She’s clearly a sandwich short of a picnic...

@TheCrowsHaveEyes
We are in our mid 20's.

• the 'sleepovers' weren't like you may think, more so that I would stay in her spare room or vice versa after going out for the evening or having a few drinks. Not movies, popcorn etc 😆

• the day yes to the dress was a crucial moment for me, and I should add that it's actually very common for a maid of honour to be there with you for such a special moment.

She sounds awful and you should have nothing more to do with her or anyone else involved, they all sound pretty toxic
Also be a bit more careful blurring the lines between work and social, it can work but it can go very wrong. I have some very close friends I used to work with (including the woman who was my MOH) but we only became very close after we no longer worked together. Getting over involved with people at work is risky.

@TheCrowsHaveEyes

It is a breach if it happened . But you don't know that it did. There is a lot of gossip going on and I'm surprised you've jumped so quickly to believe people you didn't count as close friends over someone you considered a best friend. Also, I assume your colleague would say you had authorised her to check something on your computer and that you had given her the password. Are you all very young? I've never known adults to have sleepovers or say yes to the dress. Anyway, chalk it up to experience. Stop gossiping with the people who are still there and think carefully about how you want to manage your professional relationships in your new workplace.

Agree with this. She will just claim that you told her your password. Your ex-employers will have zero interest in taking action against her, given that you no longer work for them.

I get why you are hurt, and she sounds like a nightmare, but I think you should move on. Complaining to your ex-employer will just pull you back into the stress. You are better off drawing a line.

@Suzi888 you're right I think they should be made aware too. I do feel bad disrupting the peace though as I don't want them to think I'm being difficult now I've left.

No matter how much I dislike 'friend' I wouldn't ever want to put somebody out of work, and especially in the current times. But that doesn't discard how hurt I feel. X

@Hoppinggreen I completely agree! Never again will I form any kind of further relationships with work colleagues - I've certainly learnt my lesson. Sad when you put so much trust and loyalty into a person that does nothing but slag you off in return! ☹️😔

So, two ex colleagues who you weren’t friends with have told you that your friend, who you trusted 100% has been slagging you off for months, and suddenly you absolutely believe that it’s true and you trust those ex colleagues 100%?

I think you struggle with your own judgement tbh.

Maybe the two ex colleagues told your friend after you’d left that you’d been slagging them off, which led to her not contacting you because she felt betrayed. And then, just to be sure, they decided to tell you that she’s been slagging you off, so as to make sure that all contact between you has stopped.

Ask yourself, why would anyone contact you out of the blue to tell you that someone else has been slagging you off unless it was to upset you?

This friend may well not be the perfect friend, but I wouldn’t be so sure about the ex colleagues’ motives.

You could contact the friend and ask her outright if it’s true, and that way you would find out for certain if e.g. the ex colleagues had said the same to her.

Or alternatively you could just leave it and never speak to any of them again.

It’s not a GDPR breach. She would be disciplined for it, though (if this was dealt with properly). However, it is your responsibility to keep passwords secure and change them regularly. They might point this out.

Also, I get that you are exited about your wedding and I hope that it’s unaffected by Covid etc but it’s only that exciting for you (and your Fiancé)
None of my friends were involved in choosing my dress or anything else really - maybe it’s because I am old but it really wasn’t a thing. I blame reality TV.
This woman sounds motivated by jealousy but maybe tone down the wedding/flash jewellery thing at work a bit?

@AlternativePerspective very true and I'm always open to an alternative perspective.

I personally feel that I trust my own judgement very well, I know this woman like the back of my hand and I know that she does have a cruel and nasty streak and have come face to face with this side of her myself a while back - so I do truly believe she could be capable of saying these things.

I don't know. I'll probably leave it.

@Hoppinggreen the wedding has since been cancelled due to Covid.

I should add that I barely spoke about the wedding to anybody at work, and we kept this between us outside of work.
She was completely happy to talk about it, and by no means was it the only ever thing we did talk about.

I find it sad that I can't wear a dainty gift from my DP without it being questioned and judged. It isn't in any way in your face or overly big so I don't see the issue. It's actually quite discreet. Xx

@flaviaritt thank you. I still don't understand how she's managed to get into my account considering that it takes 3 passwords to do so.
In the office we were regularly checked for GDPR so I was extremely hot on this, and would never leave details lying around / my PC unlocked.
She did sit right next to me. Pretty much on top of me 😂 the desks were so close.

I honestly would leave it in terms of no action with your former employer regarding data breach.
But I would definitely be reconsidering this friend/not friend in your life. It’s possible she’s been stitched up by ex colleagues, so if a first time event I might write it off if I were you. But if this kind of drama seems to follow this friend constantly, I could not accept that and would end the friendship.

See I don’t understand why, if someone has seen someone’s nasty side in relation to others they think they’re any different and won’t become the object of it one day or why they in fact want to stay friends with or cultivate friendships with anyone who is like that.

Why would you want to be best friends with someone who you knew to be nasty?

My DP had a friend at work like this. She had form for going off on one at people,and he kind of acknowledged that she was like it but that was all. Until she did it to him. And I have to say that at the time I did say “well, you knew what she was like.”

Just why?

It’s not clear when which ex-colleagues were doing what.

Are the 2 who told you about your payslips being read, included in the multiple ex colleagues who your ex friend was asking to contact you for info? Who obviously didn’t come forward on that themselves, so... I wouldn’t trust them either 🤷🏻‍♀️

It sounds like your “friend” was really jealous and far too consumed with your life.

That said - why was she visiting wedding venues with you? If my husband had wanted to bring a mate I’d have been confused as to why, and said no. It sounds like you were both pretty wrapped up in each other.

You didn’t deserve her being a total snake though!!!

I think it really does all come down to her being jealous because your fiancé has money. So she was working out her jealousy on that by making snide comments. It became basically a hobby being a bitch about you, and the easiest way to get info to feed that, was to be your “friend”.

I would ask the two witnesses if they are prepared to give the information about the payslip to HR. I’d email them both, company email, and ask together. Let them drop themselves in it, replying, “I don’t want to get involved” (rather than “don’t know what you’re talking about”). If they won’t stand by what they told you, you may not get far.

But as I said above... the whole environment sounds toxic and I’m not sure I’d believe them anyway. How did not one but two people see her doing it? (you said eye witnesses?) Was she looking openly in front of them and saying her piece about checking you weren’t lying about your pay?

You need to live in. Too many he said she said and I doubt the company will care when the complaint was raised by an emoyer who's been gone for month against one they very much value who will deny everything and probably pin it back on you (you gave her your log in details and ask her to do a piece of work for you you failed to finish for instance).

For all you know, these 'friends' are jealous of her promotion and baking thing up too. Who care, you're not there any longer.

Blimey, move on from this lot!! Why are you even in any contact with them at all - you seem as obsessed as she is

You will be painted as a bitter ex-colleague who has beef with the company and with her. What will you achieve by acting on what is only hearsay from a highly disfunctional dept?

@PlanDeRaccordement yes I think I'm going to leave it. I don't want to cause drama and I'm really not that kind of person. Hence asking for different opinions on here.
I can't lie - I'm very hurt but I suppose these things happen and it's always a learning curve.

Yes, drama does like to follow her, but she also likes to create it. It's something to talk about for her. I've come face to face with the nasty side of her before, she's reduced me to tears and hasn't cared less.

I think I'm wise to cut this off. Thank you for your support 😌

@AlternativePerspective I can appreciate that. I suppose it is a similar situation to me. I know that she COULD be like that but hasn't really acknowledged it. More fool me.

@Cocomarine thanks ☺️

Yes she was checking openly in the office in front of other staff and claimed I had given her permission.

The eye witnesses have said they will provide a statement. Xx