To ask you what is going on and whether this can work ?
Please be gentle . I’m posting here for traffic but I’m very confused and fragile . I’ve been divorced 3 years after a 27 year marriage . During most of those years there was no physical relationship and I threw myself into looking after my kids ( mainly teens but also a 10 ye old ) after the divorce and was not looking for a man .
Then I met someone online and from the very beginning we hit it off and seemed compatible in all respects . He lives on the other side of the world and timings are hard and I’m quite exhausted from hours on the phone at odd times during the day and night .
We can talk about anything .
He intends to sell his business and was in the middle of doing so when we met . Has been divorced 3 times .
For various reasons I know his grown up kids who live here vaguely. His plan befire he met me was to come to the UK to retire ( I’m 55 and he’s 65) so timing is perfect ( Corina has thrown a bit of a spanner in the works as he wanted to come before end 2020 but who knows if he’ll make it here then now .
He talks of marrying me . Born of us do . It’s that strong yet we’ve known each other only 4 weeks .
My problem is thst this has turned very sexual and I find myself doing and saying things I would never in a million years have done 4 weeks ago . It is getting more and more intense by phone and going further and further .
Because I’ve been out of the dating scene for decades I don’t know if this is normal or if he may be using me from miles away for gratification. In the beginning we talked about other things too but he was always flirting and quite openly would admit he’s flirting but now we talk about almost nothing but this intense physical desire for each other .
It can’t honestly be love after 4 weeks so is this just lust ? Has anyone had relationships that went this way and worked or should I reconcile myself to the fact that he may never get here or have any real intention to marry me but is letting it go further and further as it’s too exciting . Already I can see he’s not a bad man and not misleading me purposely but he does get over e excited and say things he doesn’t then do or carry out .
He also constantly talks about his long marriage and fact that ex hated sex and that’s why he’s a bit over the top with me to try to reassure himself that this time it’ll be normal . He does constantly talk negative about his dx but usually in the area of sex .
I’m just confused as this man literally has hypnotic power over me - I lose myself in our conversations until my head swims and I don’t want to fall further in love with him if this is all a farce .
He sends me flowers and links to love songs and professes undying love but I’m so confused