Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ok I know this is pathetic, but when a friend doesn’t like your posts but likes others

140 replies

Lardlizard · 03/11/2020 21:55

I know it’s needy and pathetic, but normally if someone didn’t like my stuff I’d think of maybe they’ve not been on fb etc

But one of my friends hasn't liked any of my stuff for ages
Yet I know she still must like me because she’s always messaging me on what’s app and asking to get together etc

My posts are only very tame like the kids pumpkins etc
And a couple of half term activities

Yet I see her liking and commenting on other people’s posts basically the same sort of posts as mine and I think why do you ignore mine ?
Esp when she comments and likes people’s things of people I know she’s actually not that keen on in real life

I guess there’s a chance she might not see mine
I don’t know how the algorithm works

But I’ve now stopped liking hers too

OP posts:
Original poster
Lardlizard · 03/11/2020 22:31

Perhaps she’s jealous? What of she’s posted her own Halloween stuff

OP posts:
Diavoloroquito · 03/11/2020 22:32

Upload a video to see if she’s viewed it. I can get a bit upset too when I don’t get likes from friends or family but they are liking everyone else’s.

Original poster
Lardlizard · 03/11/2020 22:33

I totally agree it’s needy and pathetic
But it’s just confussing me

OP posts:
UpHereforDancng · 03/11/2020 22:33

Facebook can be a bit strange like that. A couple of years ago I created a favourites list of about 30 FB friends and I now get an email whenever one of them posts. But strangely it doesn't include my two best friends on their for some reason, and I've noticed that they both hardly ever like my own posts.

However, it bothered me for about an hour in total! I'm not hugely active on FB and prefer Instagram (but I'm not on that much either!).

Original poster
Lardlizard · 03/11/2020 22:34

If I posted a video what would that prove

I suppose it would prove if she’s seen it ?

OP posts:
Nordman · 03/11/2020 22:34

Instead of questioning why she doesn't like your posts, question why you are bothered about it. If I put anything on social media its because I want to share it with people, I genuinely couldn't care less whether any of those people click the like button. If this is something that really bothers you then maybe take a social media break.

Original poster
Lardlizard · 03/11/2020 22:35

Perhaps she’s jealous? What if she’s posted her own Halloween stuff

OP posts:
macncheeses · 03/11/2020 22:35

I'd personally bin social media for awhile. You are overthinking this. It might be fun and a way to keep in touch especially in dark times when you can't see each other, but honestly, it's all meaningless and can be damaging!
You aren't thinking straight and coming across as immature and needy.
Why don't you pick the phone up or send a private message instead.

Original poster
Lardlizard · 03/11/2020 22:36

“Might be worth tagging her in something you know she wants to see, or commenting/reactting to her posts so fb algorithms know you want to see each other's posts.“

I’m always liking her posts

OP posts:
seayork2020 · 03/11/2020 22:36

Maybe it is time you step away from social media and stay in the real world?

Original poster
Lardlizard · 03/11/2020 22:36

Actaully it would be interesting if I posted a story and she saw it .....

OP posts:
RishiMcRichface · 03/11/2020 22:36

My mum is one of my top FB friends and I message her in FB messenger all the time and always comment on her posts but for some reason I don't always see her posts. So it could well be a F B glitch.

seayork2020 · 03/11/2020 22:37

Maybe it is time you step away form social media and stay in the real world?

FarTooSkinny · 03/11/2020 22:37

I have a friend who posts loads of tedious kids, Halloween, school homework, blah, blah, blah stuff on Facebook. As I am non confrontational I passively aggressively like and comment on similar posts that aren't hers in the hope that she gets the message.

I think she also posts on MN so if she puts up a whiny post I'll reply with something sarcastic

Original poster
Lardlizard · 03/11/2020 22:38

Actaully it would be interesting if I posted a story and she saw it .....

OP posts:
RishiMcRichface · 03/11/2020 22:38

My mum is one of my top FB friends and I message her in FB messenger all the time and always comment on her posts but for some reason I don't always see her posts. So it could well be a F B glitch.

Original poster
Lardlizard · 03/11/2020 22:38

Because I don’t want to be arsed to send her a private what’s app
As it’s making me feel she’s she’s ignoring me or begrudging Me somehow

Also I’m not going to stop interacting with other in there just because she’s either not seeing my stuff or choosing to ignore it

I might unfollow her for a while though, 30 days maybe

OP posts:
Original poster
Lardlizard · 03/11/2020 22:40

Because I don’t want to be arsed to send her a private what’s app
As it’s making me feel she’s she’s ignoring me or begrudging Me somehow

Also I’m not going to stop interacting with other in there just because she’s either not seeing my stuff or choosing to ignore it

I might unfollow her for a while though, 30 days maybe

OP posts:
saveforthat · 03/11/2020 22:41

I'm so glad I don't even know what this means.

FarTooSkinny · 03/11/2020 22:42

I have a friend who posts loads of tedious kids, Halloween, school homework, blah, blah, blah stuff on Facebook. As I am non confrontational I passively aggressively like and comment on similar posts that aren't hers in the hope that she gets the message.

I think she also posts on MN so if she puts up a whiny post I'll reply with something sarcastic

ReallySpicyCurry · 03/11/2020 22:46

It's the algorithm. I actively searched and clicked on a friend's profile the other day because I wanted to check the date for something, and I couldn't believed all the posts I hadn't seen. Yet she's a good friend so I want to see her stuff, but FB bombards me with all the random crap of the day otherwise!

LeglessGiraffe · 03/11/2020 22:47

Loads of times I've idly clicked onto a Facebook friend I've not seen anything from in ages then realised they have posted dozens of things I would have reacted to, but that never appeared on my newsfeed. It's not you, it's the algorithm.

Watch The Social Dilemma on Netflix. Interesting film.

I deleted the app from all my devices and turned off all notifications about a fortnight ago and I feel much better for it. I've gone from spending about an hour a day on FB to checking it for 5 minutes every couple of days I thought I'd use this precious extra time to read, clean or exercise but in reality I've just spent longer on Mumsnet.

Sounds like you might also benefit from a break

Original poster
Lardlizard · 03/11/2020 22:47

i never put things on about homework or that stuff

OP posts:
Original poster
Lardlizard · 03/11/2020 22:50

End of the day it boils down to two options
She’s not seeing me
Or she’s choosing to ignore

Simple as that

OP posts:
fairydust11 · 03/11/2020 22:53

I know people like that & class them as “frenemies” I end up putting them on restricted so they can’t snoop anymore, but that’s me! A friend would like at least one of your posts at some point. In the past when you have had a meet up how does she make you feel afterwards? Has there been any sense of animosity? If I don’t see a friends posts for a while - I go onto their page just in case I may have missed something...
I highly doubt she hasn’t seen at least one of your posts.