To refuse to change childminder

[randomperson9]

Me and a colleague at work both had a child around the same time, their child is 6m older than mine so she was back to work before me. I live 40 minutes from work, she lives in the same place. When I went back to work I put my son in a nursery near where I live as my husband was doing the pick up everyday. My son didn't settle and I wasn't happy with where he was. Colleague used a childminder in the same town where she lives and we both work. When I told her about looking to move him she said he childminder had a space and recommended her. So I got in touch, loved the childminder and moved my son. He's so much happier, I'm happier and everything was great.

Until colleague had child number 2! The childminder only has 2 pre school places in the day time so now can't have colleagues other child when she returns to work. So colleague has asked me to look for another provision as she wants to send both her children to this childminder. I've said no, my child is settled and happy and I don't want to move them. She said if I have another child I'd have to move them anyway. I said I wasn't planning anymore yet so that wasn't an issue for me. Her argument is that Childcare is hard to find in the local area and I have more options where I live than she does. But I don't want to disrupt my son when he's settled and risk keep moving him around.

AIBU to refuse to move my child?

I’ve read about some crazy entitled cheeky fucker behaviour on here before but this really does take the piss!

She wants you to uproot your child to allow her to have a space for a second child, who does she think she is? 😂

You could speak to the childminder in a friendly way. Perhaps she could help you smooth this over.

Why doesn’t she move her child?
I think you need to do the MN tinkly laugh and ask ‘you ok hun?’ 🤣🤣

Yanbu. That's a very cheeky ask!

The childminder could apply for a variation, if she wanted to. That's between the childminder and your colleague.

dont mention the subling rule maybe the childminder doesnt want to do it

if it wasnt your child taking the place it wold be someone elses so tough really

@randomperson9

Ooo I didn't know about the sibling thing. I will tell her that although technically the childminder could take her child as they can usually have 3. She chooses to only have 2. I've no idea if she has even asked the childminder before asking me, I didn't really make conversation over it as I wasn't prepared to consider her request. But then I wondered if I was being stubborn, but clearly not!

Don't tell her that. You could ask her if she has asked the CM to apply for continuation, but don't tell her the childminder has chosen not too as you don't actually know that's the case.

Push it back to the CM, but don't chuck her in the fire.

I am sure the childminder is aware she can request a continuity of care for the siblings but maybe she doesn't want to increase her ratio. I am a childminder and I would not be happy if one of the parents was trying to convince another to leave my setting.

High order batshit crazy.

YANBU OP what a cheeky mare she is to even ask.

Don't mention to her about the childminder being able to take an extra child, if she wanted to, she would have said it to your friend.

Your friend can move her own kid if she wants them together, you shouldn't move yours.

As a CM i would be seriously unimpressed by this! If she normally has only two children then she will have her reasons for this, she won't be missing out on a third of her income for no reason.
It isn't a parents place to dictate a CM's business and could potentially damage working relationships.

She's daft. Ignore.

In my experience, if anyone is asked to leave or change days because of a sibling, it comes from the childminder. Sometimes they have to put their business hats on and if person a has three half days with one child and they can only accommodate person b with two children for five full days, they have to make those kind of decisions.

But in your case, yanbu. That’s your spot. What if she has another one in quick succession?! Then she’s done herself out of this cm anyway.

This is some of the cheekiest cheeky-fuckery I have ever seen on here! Of course YANBU, your colleague is being ridiculous. Giving her the benefit of a doubt, finding reliable childcare can be really stressful so maybe she just had a moment of panic and once she's had chance to reflect she'll realise she's been unreasonable.

I've heard it all now. DO NOT take your child out. This is for the CM to sort out with her client. If CM wants to keep the family, they will probably bend over backwards to do it.

My CM is no where near capacity and is more than happy to keep it that way right now, despite being highly sought after. Just because the CM potentially could take another child, doesn't mean they want to!

Yanbu
If the CM actually wanted her 2nd child, she would give you notice. My CM held space for my second child, because she liked my kids and I am relatively undemanding, and I would imagine siblings are often easier.

If you hadn’t taken the space someone else would have. She was not ‘lending’ you the space until she had another. It’s not her gift to give or takeaway. All she did was make a recommendation.

And you should not speak to the childminder about another family’s childcare arrangements. It is not your job to help her find childcare.

Absolutely not would I be moving my child, although I probably wouldn't be able to answer from laughing so much at the outrageous request

I agree with those who have said it's not my business so I've decided I won't mention the policy to my colleague!
I don't think the lady does it for the money more the enjoyment and keeping busy which is why she doesn't fill all her spaces. She's an older lady so I think she just plods along nicely with 2 children rather than maximising her income. She'd easily fill the extra space if she wanted to but she doesn't.

YANBU. She sounds incredibly entitled.