Hate my partner

[Stressedthequackout]

Hello everyone
Can I have some confirmation that what I’m feeling isn’t out of order?
Live with DP, have a three year old and a 6 month old - boys.
DP works 5 days a week and has sat and sun off most of the time (occasionally works sat til 1pm). I work 2 days a week and also am doing a degree so am out the house the same amount of time as him. It seems that although we are both out working/studying for the whole week, everything at home is my job. I do all the cleaning, laundry, running the children around to childcare and looking after them while they’re at home, ironing clothes for nursery, packing bags for them, making beds, etc. All in between also independently learning at home. DP comes home from work and sits on the sofa. All night. Everything I do gets undone within minutes - for example if I wipe the counter tops there will be crumbs straight away, if I mop the floor he will tread dirt through the house straight away, if I tidy things into draws he’ll get them out straight away. He’ll dump his whole sock draw out onto the dresser to find the pair he wants and just leave them. I clean the bathroom and he immediately has to go for a poo. Etc.
TODAY he is not working, I’ve been running around like a blue arsed fly cleaning and tidying the house as I had a deadline and work over the weekend so haven’t had a chance. Whilst I was cleaning the floors the baby started crying for milk and he’s just sat there watching tv. Asked if he is going to sort him out and he said he’s had enough and he’s tired?? All he has done is sit down all morning. I said this and he shhed me and said stop acting hard done by! Occasionally he will feed the baby but does this by putting him in his bouncer and propping the bottle up on a blanket - couldn’t bear to actually feed him himself.
He has also got the hump because I won’t sit down and be lazy with him - he thinks we shouldn’t worry about the house being tidy and should just relax but I can’t live in a messy house so he is sat there saying I’m being horrible to him.
I’m absolutely exasperated - I feel like I don’t even want to be near this man anymore!

Life is too short of this shit.

You will find your life infinitely easier and more pleasant without him.

Leave the lazy, entitled bastard.

Minty did you misunderstand? She says she CAN afford to split and only she's on the contact. Rental I presume. Op it doesn't MATTER if he thinks he "has' to live with the kids....he doesn't HAVE to if you don't WANT him to.

He props a bottle up on a blanket while your baby is in a bouncer? What happens if the flow is too fast and your baby chokes?

Absolutely ridiculously lazy and dangerous.

Get rid.

Bin the cocklodger OP.

Oh dear OP, can I just say that you are an amazing woman and you have 2 DC. You are already working and have a home in your name. You are not married. The solution is therefore so easy - you say bye bye to your DP and get on with your life. You won't even notice he is gone except that

1. no one will pester you for sex and sulk when you are busy with your DC
2. There will be one less person to cook for and clean up after
3. You will realise you can manage on your own (you already are).
4. You can spend all your energy on positive thoughts and on improving your life.

You are already planning a future with your study - please let it start to-day as a future without this man.

Bottle propping is extremely dangerous and neither of you should EVER be doing this. I would leave him for this alone. He is literally risking your baby's life because he's to lazy to even feed him properly (first aid trainer here).

Get rid ☹️

Your life will be so much happier if you threw him out.

You'd also have time to yourself with joint custody...

If you're happier, the kids will be too!

he has to stay with the children that he doesn't even look after? hhhmmm I'd be kicking him out swiftly since he's not even on the books

So you're a single mum with a full grown man to take care of too? Get rid of the man and you'll have less work to do.

I would also stop doing anything for your partner too. He can make his own meals, wash his own clothes etc. Stop being his skivvy and boot him out or move out yourself.

He sounds awful. He's treating you like crap (and neglecting his own kids). I can't legally advise arsenic, so perhaps an ultimatum or just kick him out...best of luck to you.

You aren't married to him, and you can afford to leave him without too much difficulty so it seems like a no brainer to me.

My Husband was like this. I was working and studying but still expected to do everything around the house, including shopping, cooking, cleaning and looking after the children. I confronted him many times, especially when pregnant with second child and plagued by morning sickness/fatigue. He still refused to lift a finger, said it was 'women's work.' Then continued to watch the tv. Needless to say, I divorced him.

@Bella43

My Husband was like this. I was working and studying but still expected to do everything around the house, including shopping, cooking, cleaning and looking after the children. I confronted him many times, especially when pregnant with second child and plagued by morning sickness/fatigue. He still refused to lift a finger, said it was 'women's work.' Then continued to watch the tv. Needless to say, I divorced him.

I'd be doing time right now if anyone ever told me that house work/childcare was woman's work.................good for you for having enough restraint to just divorce him :p

Tell him he either leaves or pulls his head out his arse. And start just sitting down yourself. Let things not get done, especially anything he needs.

I don’t normally feel moved to post on these threads sadly there are so many of them, I’m making an exception to say however hard emotionally it may be he needs to go now. Skip the you need to do more stage where he says he will because he won’t do it , tell him to leave and mean it

OP Try this...

Make your childrens tea and not his
Wash and iron their clothes but not his
Wait and see what he does about it
Stop engaging with him full stop
He needs to be taught a short sharp lesson

You have 3 choices

• stop doing it
• get rid
• get on with it

You picked him.

Won't even feed his own fucking baby, but says he must live with the kids 🙄

Kick him the fuck out. You will NOT regret it.

Why would you give him the chance to change? He HAS the chance to change, every fucking day.

I'm shocked you've put up with him acting like this for this long tbh

I found myself in the exact same position many years ago and told him to leave because it was inevitable we’d split sooner or later. I didn’t want the children (age 2 & 3) to have any long term memory of him having lived there which I thought would be more upsetting than him leaving when they were older. It really was the best decision I made & as hard as it was at times to juggle work, study & kids, I don’t regret it for a moment.

@Anordinarymum

OP Try this...

Make your childrens tea and not his
Wash and iron their clothes but not his
Wait and see what he does about it
Stop engaging with him full stop
He needs to be taught a short sharp lesson

THIS^

He's a waste of space and by the sounds of it a useless dad, if he stays as he is your boys might copy his behaviour

Don't waste your life living with a man you hate.

Either boot him out or stop doing stuff for him and see if he gets the hint.

Life really is too short to not be happy.

There's nothing more sexually attractive than a lazy arsed bloke eh

Why does he have to stay for the kids? He does fuck all with them.

Kick him out and you'll have one less child to look after