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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that this should not have been discussed with anyone but me?

89 replies

MacDuffsMuff · 02/11/2020 16:22

I'm really pissed off but need to know if I'm overreacting.

We lived with MIL for 6 months while renovating our house, we moved out over 5 years ago. During that time I had an operation so my home telephone number was her number but all records were changed when we moved into our house.

I have been waiting for an appointment for something that I haven't told MIL about. Firstly, because I have nothing really to tell her until after I've had some further tests and secondly because I know that she worries.

The hospital called today to offer me an appointment and they called the old number - fine, mistakes happen. However, when they asked for me and MIL told her that I was her DIL and no longer live there they gave her the details for the appointment to pass on to me. MIL asked the receptionist what the appointment was for and she told her. I'm pissed off for a number of reasons, firstly because now MIL is worried, but I don't think they should be discussing my appointment with anyone but me.

I really feel that I want to complain about this (I'm not a complainer at ALL) but I feel so mad about this.

OP posts:
JeezLouisePlease · 02/11/2020 17:59

DH is diabetic and when the doctors ring for his appointments and I take the call if he’s at work, the nurse won’t even discuss what it’s regarding with me his wife. They just usually say it’s nothing to worry about and ask if I could get him to call them back.

YWNBU to make a major complaint.

LadyCatStark · 02/11/2020 18:01

That was a massive GDPR breach. You could complain and they could get at £10000 fine 😵

lanthanum · 02/11/2020 18:04

By contrast, my husband's clinic (a department that would be unlikely to be dealing with something so sensitive a household member wouldn't know about it) always refused to speak to me about it, even when I said "is that the xxxx department?", making it clear I knew about his appointment. It happened often enough I knew the receptionist's voice, so I used to end up calling him at work to tell him they'd called and to give them a call because they probably wanted to change his appointment.

There doesn't seem to be a consistent approach. The breast clinic does phone-call reminders and leaves a message (naming the clinic) if nobody picks up - which on a landline number may well get heard by the wrong person.

ProfessorSlocombe · 02/11/2020 18:05

@LadyCatStark

That was a massive GDPR breach. You could complain and they could get at £10000 fine 😵
They won't.
NetflixWatcher · 02/11/2020 18:10

YANBU. In a situation like that I am not allowed to even say where I'm calling from! The most I can say is... it's just concerning an appointment I will try again later. Could be a hair appointment for all they know.

AuditAngel · 02/11/2020 18:13

As many have already said, this is a personal data breach under GDPR, however, it is actually a breach of special category data, referred to as sensitive personal data.

The ICO will not fine on a single matter, but you should raise it with the data protection officer. Do not just speak to practice manager, ask them to identify the DPO so you deal with them directly.

Ask them to explain how they plan to address the issue and prevent it recurring.

Former DPO

GladAllOver · 02/11/2020 18:17

I'd be careful who I blamed.

You MiL told you that she said you were her DiL. But did she really?
NHS always ask for your DoB to confirm your identity. And she would know that.

NeverAMillionMilesAway · 02/11/2020 18:22

You need to submit a complaint. The only message that they could have safely given was to ask her to ask you to call them back on x number, and even that can be dodgy.

Cam2020 · 02/11/2020 18:22

Woah massive breach of confidentiality! I'd be pissed off too!

TheCrowsHaveEyes · 02/11/2020 18:49

Obviously it shouldn't have been discussed with her. I think it's worth calling and making sure all your records are up-to-date. Presumably there is a file that hasn't been updated.

Perhaps the order of the conversation was slightly different from the way MIL told you eg it may be that they asked for Mrs x and MIL said that was her. Then they told her about the appointment and that's when she realised they meant you and explained you were her DIL.

AliceMcK · 02/11/2020 19:07

Ask for a copy of the phone recording so you know the facts and go from there. If the person did willing give out information without doing any checks, definitely data protection issue.

AintOverUntilTheCatLadySings · 02/11/2020 19:07

Our doctors' receptionist is terrible for this.

You fill out an online form and they ring you up. You even put your contact details in there. But, weirdly, without fail, receptionist 1 will ring me up, sort the issue etc and book me in or renew my prescription etc. So all good and sorted.

But THEN receptionist 2 will ring my DH, who is listed at my next of kin, and tell him that they're ringing for MY NAME in regards to MEDICAL ISSUE.

I'm sure she just can't work the email or file system because it's the same woman doing it every time. She'll also ring him if I don't answer my phone and she's the first receptionist to call. We've asked, repeatedly, to take his number off my files and not to call. She'll also ring him if I make a medical appointment for DD, despite my number being on the form.

I keep joking that it's lucky that he knows I'm pregnant as she's told him several times over…

ProfessorSlocombe · 02/11/2020 19:09

@AliceMcK

Ask for a copy of the phone recording so you know the facts and go from there. If the person did willing give out information without doing any checks, definitely data protection issue.
The OP isn't entitled to the recording if it's with someone else.
ExclamationPerfume · 02/11/2020 19:17

Do you and your MIL have the same name?

The receptionist may have asked for Mrs X and your MIL might have said yes that's me. Then the receptionist might have said it's about your Gynae appointment or whatever.

Check before getting someone in trouble.

IntermittentParps · 02/11/2020 19:19

SO wrong. Complain in writing. Follow up with a phone call to make sure it's being noticed, but make sure you have a paper trail.

MIL shouldn't have asked, but a competent medical receptionist wouldn't have told her.

Original poster
MacDuffsMuff · 02/11/2020 19:21

Do you and your MIL have the same name?

We don't actually, nothing like it. I kept my previous name when DH and I got married.

OP posts:
Flashinggreen · 02/11/2020 19:36

Clear breach of confidentiality

LemonadeFromLemons · 02/11/2020 20:10

@MacDuffsMuff

Hi OP. If you’d like to speak directly to someone about making a complaint ask to be put through to the Patient Experience Lead, there is a process including timeframes being kept to and any adverse incidents recorded with additional training being put in place for the employee.

OhTheRoses · 02/11/2020 20:11

Crikey. Horrendous but doesn't surprise me. The receptionists at my GP surgery have refused to let me cancel an apt for dd when she was 17 and shouted at me that she cd lose her job if she acknowledges dd has an apt. And got arsy when I've said "well we has rehearsals until 5.30 and can't ring you herself to cancel so do let the Dr know why she hasn't arrived". When I wrote to the senior partner to explain why we hadn't attended and to react the DNA from her notes I received a full apology.

Yet when I visit the surgery and report to reception and there is a queue 6 deep behind me it is ok for the receptionist to blast at the top of her voice "what's your name? Date of birth, post code, what's wrong with you" and when I have asked to write it down "no you can't, I ain't got time for that and might read it wrong". And that isn't a breach of my data?

They are horrid, power hungry nasties. The service has improved greatly since covid now we can email and there is either a written reply or the Dr promptly phones back.

Notwithstanding the fact that over the years I have been sent other people's prescriptions and their letters have been included with my copy referral.

WhySoSensitive · 02/11/2020 20:12

She shouldn’t have said who she was/why she was calling either tbh. (As in she should have said thank you very much I’ll try another number or similar!)
I’ve recently been back and forth with my GP and referrals, even the physio had to ask me permission to say she was calling from physio if she left a voicemail. My understanding was they were quite strict with this?!

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 02/11/2020 20:15

This is a serious data breach. I used to work in a hospital and if we were leaving a voice message regarding an appointment we weren't even allowed say we were ringing regarding the hospital in case an abusive partner listened to the message.

Whoever made that phone call needs serious training in data protection, patient confidentiality and customer service.

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 02/11/2020 20:21

@StillWeRise

she will have had GDPR training, everyone does (not to mention pre-existing rules of confidentiality) OP you should report it - not out of malice but to stop it happening again.
Unfortunately not everyone gets adequate training. Where I worked I saw new staff thrown on to phones after a chat for 20 minutes.
Original poster
MacDuffsMuff · 02/11/2020 20:22

I don't want to be an arsehole about it and I don't want to get anyone 'into trouble' but I do think that this is quite a serious breach.

OP posts:
StillWeRise · 02/11/2020 20:30

You're right, it is, and reporting it doesn't make you and arsehole. The consequences for you are annoying, and you think you MIL might worry. But the consequences for another patient could be much more serious, so it's a good thing to report.

Johntaylorschin · 02/11/2020 20:42

I recently answered the landline to someone asking for my husband, when I said he wasn’t here she politely explained she was phoning from the hospital as he was due a check up for xxx and gave me a choice of 2 dates and wondered if I could confirm one on my husband’s behalf!
I think she was so excited to be able to offer an appointment after lockdown she forgot all protocols!

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