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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that this should not have been discussed with anyone but me?

89 replies

MacDuffsMuff · 02/11/2020 16:22

I'm really pissed off but need to know if I'm overreacting.

We lived with MIL for 6 months while renovating our house, we moved out over 5 years ago. During that time I had an operation so my home telephone number was her number but all records were changed when we moved into our house.

I have been waiting for an appointment for something that I haven't told MIL about. Firstly, because I have nothing really to tell her until after I've had some further tests and secondly because I know that she worries.

The hospital called today to offer me an appointment and they called the old number - fine, mistakes happen. However, when they asked for me and MIL told her that I was her DIL and no longer live there they gave her the details for the appointment to pass on to me. MIL asked the receptionist what the appointment was for and she told her. I'm pissed off for a number of reasons, firstly because now MIL is worried, but I don't think they should be discussing my appointment with anyone but me.

I really feel that I want to complain about this (I'm not a complainer at ALL) but I feel so mad about this.

OP posts:
gassylady · 02/11/2020 17:00

I work in the NHS agree it was a serious error on the part of the hospital. I would complain too

nocoolnamesleft · 02/11/2020 17:02

They should not have given the details. They could have asked her for the correct phone number. Incidentally, did you update the hospital with your number? It's driving me insane how many people are labouring under the false impression that telling the GP also updates the hospital system. Still a breach to have told her.

Mischance · 02/11/2020 17:03

It was wrong. I would mention it to hospital so they can reinforce correct protocol with the person in question. Mind you I expect hospitals have other things to grapple with at present.

Bambooble · 02/11/2020 17:03

No they shouldn't have done that. They're not even supposed to leave voicemails in case it gets picked up by someone else, let alone actually tell someone.

ProfessorSlocombe · 02/11/2020 17:05

You'll also find that the trust will have a "we never leave a message on voicemail because we don't know who might hear it" approach to phone calls too, just to make things worse ... just before they sent out an SMS without the faintest idea who will end up reading it ...

SlopesOff · 02/11/2020 17:10

Her phone no. should not have been on record if you no longer live there, maybe get that sorted while you are complaining, especially if you asked for the details to be changed.

LindaEllen · 02/11/2020 17:15

She shouldn't have asked, but they certainly shouldn't have given her any details at all.

My GP receptionist knows my mum, and has TWICE breached my confidence. Firstly telling her congratulations on my pregnancy (I'd had my initial GP appointment, but then miscarried before I got round to telling anyone or even having a 12wk scan), and then to ask how my anxiety was, as I'd gone to see GP about that. I hadn't told my mum about this either - same reason as you OP, because she worries.

I reported her for it the second time, and nothing got done about it, which angered me.

Benjispruce2 · 02/11/2020 17:18

Wow that’s a pretty serious breach of confidentiality. My DD’s orthodontist wouldn’t even tell me her appointment was cancelled on a voicemail due to gdpr.

chubley · 02/11/2020 17:18

It's terrible that many people make sure their details are up to date when they move, yet parts of the NHS will have old details and use them.

Here's a good one: DH found out a couple of years ago that the dentist sent a letter to his childhood address - he moved out when he was 10, 40 years earlier!! Several moves later he only registered with that dentist in the mid-1990s after moving back a couple of miles away and we knew they had our current address on file as we moved again in 1999! But at least they wrote to it, not phoned, which isn't as bad, except he didn't get the letter obviously!

timeforanewstart · 02/11/2020 17:20

When i worked at drs we couldn't even confirm an appt if someone else rang up even if they knew all details etc

Abitofalark · 02/11/2020 17:20

In my experience health staff would ask for the person by name and not even say who they are or what organisation they are ringing from until they've asked that. I expect they asked for you by name, at which point your mother in law would presumably have said the person asked for was her daughter in law - unless of course she happens to have the exact same name as that asked for.
At that point the hospital should have asked for your current phone number and other than identifying that they were from the hospital and wanted to contact you, declined to discuss what it was about as it is a private matter.

DGRossetti · 02/11/2020 17:22

It's terrible that many people make sure their details are up to date when they move, yet parts of the NHS will have old details and use them.

wait until you discover the sheet of pre printed address labels at the back of your notes that guarantee no matter what "the system" says, your letters get sent to an old address.

Yes.

To me.

18 years ago (and they are still doing it in 2020).

Dustysilkflowers · 02/11/2020 17:24

@StillWeRise

she will have had GDPR training, everyone does (not to mention pre-existing rules of confidentiality) OP you should report it - not out of malice but to stop it happening again.
This. It will have to go down as an incident and it will highlight they need further training.
museumum · 02/11/2020 17:25

That's definitely not on but also very unusual - ours won't even say who they are or why they're calling! Hence DH telling me that somebody wants to get hold of me on the landline and has tried twice but wont say who they are!!!
(we no longer have a landline so not such an issue now)

ProfessorSlocombe · 02/11/2020 17:25

It will have to go down as an incident and it will highlight they need further training

Which won't stop it happening again, just stop one person doing it again, which isn't the same thing.

OMGisthisforreal · 02/11/2020 17:29

No, you are NOT being unreasonable and yes, you should definitely complain.
I would contact the PALS officer at your hospital as they are required to log all contacts and investigate within given timescales. Furthermore, they might be able to prevent this gross breach of privacy from happening again. It’s clearly a training issue.
Both my husband and I were required by our GP practice to sign forms giving them permission allowing each of us to take messages, make appointments, etc. on the other’s behalf.

wildraisins · 02/11/2020 17:34

The receptionist has breached GDPR and you should report it. If this has happened to you then that receptionist is also likely going to/ has already done it to other patients too, so she obviously needs some extra training. You shouldn't feel bad about reporting it.

viccytwiffy · 02/11/2020 17:35

I sympathise, my doctor's admin shared an entire detailed list of my mental health history with my university... when all that was required was a confirmation of required support...

Requinblanc · 02/11/2020 17:38

Total breach of data protection/privacy.

They should not have discussed your medical records with anyone else.

The only time I had a hospital/GP discuss this type of stuff with a third person person was when they contacted the friend who was listed as my next of kin in the paperwork I had to fill before having an operation.

They could get hold of me and they wanted to discuss something urgently so they called my friend instead. Very different situation through and they simply asked her to pass on a message to me rather than go into any specific details. Although my friend obviously already knew about my operation.

RainingBatsAndFrogs · 02/11/2020 17:38

Eeek, no that shouldn't have happened.

I wouldn't be vengeful but they may be using inexperienced staff to cover gaps, and need to know that extra training is required.

supercatlady · 02/11/2020 17:43

Definitely complain. You can also report to ICO ico.org.uk/make-a-complaint/your-personal-information-concerns/

DumplingsAndStew · 02/11/2020 17:44

@nocoolnamesleft

They should not have given the details. They could have asked her for the correct phone number. Incidentally, did you update the hospital with your number? It's driving me insane how many people are labouring under the false impression that telling the GP also updates the hospital system. Still a breach to have told her.
Why wouldn't it be expected that changing details with one branch of the NHS should update it with all?

There needs to be a much more joined up approach to health care, which includes data sharing.

AdaColeman · 02/11/2020 17:44

You should certainly report this, as it is clearly a breach of the confidentiality protocol of the particular Trust.
It seems they will need to tighten up their training programme a lot!

37weekswithno2 · 02/11/2020 17:55

It's driving me insane how many people are labouring under the false impression that telling the GP also updates the hospital system

Well maybe the nhs needs to make people aware of that. It's not an odd assumption to make to be honest.

DGRossetti · 02/11/2020 17:59

@37weekswithno2

It's driving me insane how many people are labouring under the false impression that telling the GP also updates the hospital system

Well maybe the nhs needs to make people aware of that. It's not an odd assumption to make to be honest.

No amount up updating the system will replace the sheet of stickers at the back of your file. This what floored me (missed appointments, removed from list, had to rebook again. And again). The admin staff actually let me watch them pull up my file to show me the address was correct (it was). Letters still went to the old address.