Would this drive you mad?

[Superpanicky]

Husband is driving me mad, it’s nothing really bad but his behaviour niggles me, today is a typical example and I’m trying to brush it off but still stewing. Basically he’s really passive aggressive about things domestic things not being done around the house and will muck in (I don’t want him to, I’d rather he didn’t) but he’ll be very nearly about it and it causes lots of rows. He works very hard and I am a stay at home mum. Today was so minor it’s unreal (I fully expect to be told it is too!) but I would genuinely like to know if I’m just being too easily annoyed. Both of us outside in the garden picking up dog poo, he’s going round in a passive aggressive whirl of activity while I’m finding my pooper scooper and then struggling to open the dog poo bag. After about a minute or two (he’s seen me not being able to get the bag open) he asks me “how many bags of dog poo have you collected so far?” I ask me why he is asking that after only two minutes, and he says “I’ll take the ones you’ve collected out to the bin”. We end up having a row about how petty he is in the extreme. He was only asking me because he had clocked that after two minutes I hadn’t picked any up yet. If it had been more than ten minutes then I could see the point of this passive aggressive comment but it just feels so unnecessary, I live with these type of comments all the time and it drives me maaaaddddd. AIBU?

Good grief..

I guess either the op or her husband pick it up before the kids play out there, what is the problem..

At least the dogs are doing their business in the ops garden, rather than all over the pavements and their humans are not picking it up!!

OMFG the amount of people who think this is about dog shit!

OP, your dog shit situation is fine. You don't want to be out picking up after 2 puppies every 5 minutes in this weather. Every day or 3 is perfectly ok if there's nobody using the garden and likely to step in it.

Just tell him to fuck right off.

If he asks you to join in on pointless jobs, ask him why it needs two people. Tell him you have done your cleaning for the day and if something is bothering him, he can clean it. Why doesn't he let you relax if he is busy.

If he leaves shaving hair round the sink, he doesn't have OCD, it's just a stick to beat you with.

If you did keep the house immaculate, he would find something else to get at you.

Ask him what the problem really is as he clearly has some resentment.

But most of all, tell him to fuck off.

Just assign your Husband as the main marathon dog poo picker upper if you leave all that poo around for too long. Maybe get your children to help, they like the puppies, so have to get used to mucking in with all things puppies so to speak. Then you have to have a system in the house, about who does what jobs etc, saves any arguments.

Hi OP

I think my answer would depend on how much of a state the house normally is, when the kids are at school considering it's your job. But the fact that he leaves hair in the sink and clothes on the floor then has a pop about housework does indicate he is a bit of a wanker. Also the fact he cant discuss an issue properly and makes passive aggressive digs instead. Would going back to work so that the house isnt your responsibility and chores are more equally shared, be an option? Have you got any more counselling sessions to go? What did the counsellor suggest? Did he acknowledge that he has any changes to make? Did you?