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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think mumsnet will shrivel up and die

165 replies

Hobnobswantshernameback · 01/11/2020 11:59

Without all the usual Christmas threads
I mean....what will people find to moan about Wink

OP posts:
LucillevsLowkee · 01/11/2020 22:29

And the zoom company "Christmas parties"... How many threads do you think that will bring!

actually, any zoom Christmas family or work gathering.

PhilCornwall1 · 01/11/2020 22:29

@Cheeseandlobster

Oh don't you worry your pretty little head. There will be a feast of complaints about people not wearing masks, breaking lockdown, daring to cough in public. Mumsnet will be on fire Grin
Definitely this. Johnson's announcement last night has got a fair few on here excited.

Just wait for the endless "should I report my neighbour threads".

I'd say a fair few of the curtain twitchers have been placing orders with John Lewis to replace their worn out curtains.

teaandcustardcreamsx · 01/11/2020 22:30

Flame me if you want @Sparklingbrook but .... I can’t bloody stand the giant ones Grin

TazMac · 01/11/2020 22:43

Mumsnet always does a roaring trade in competitive cleaning threads. Along with the “I only eat a stick of celery and some grapes each day, don’t you feel bloated if you eat actual meals?” threads.

Dominicgoings · 01/11/2020 22:46

Elf on a Shelf won’t be allowed to travel. Christmas blessing right there Grin

RedToothBrush · 01/11/2020 22:54

The Elf and Safety Executive have deemed Elf on a shelf covid non compliant.

FlouncerInDenial · 01/11/2020 23:00

@LucillevsLowkee

And the zoom company "Christmas parties"... How many threads do you think that will bring!

actually, any zoom Christmas family or work gathering.

The modern equivalent of photocopying your arse?
Dominicgoings · 01/11/2020 23:02

No ‘shit gifts from work secret santa’ threads Sad

RedToothBrush · 01/11/2020 23:13

@Dominicgoings

No ‘shit gifts from work secret santa’ threads Sad
Oh i bet there still are.
RedToothBrush · 01/11/2020 23:15

The thread about family member not properly attired when standing up at the end of a zoom call when they think they have switched off but have not will be worth looking out for

ShebaShimmyShake · 01/11/2020 23:18

Maybe a lockdown Christmas will make people more accepting of Christmas Eve boxes? You know, given all the restrictions and everything, people might be a bit more understanding of why a family might decide to have a box with pyjamas, a DVD, some sweets and hot chocolate? Because, you know, it's not a very offensive concept even in normal times, and perhaps small pleasures are more understandable in a pandemic lockdown?

Oh, who am I kidding!

PorpoiseSpitGazzette · 01/11/2020 23:37

Fireworks, parking, bin wars, and WTF am I going to use to embellish a fantastically farcical round robin Christmas communique from Janet this year, will see us through.
I however will mourn the loss of the glorious Twitter thread that shares what diabolical preparations and sleeping arrangements have been made to accommodate people over Christmas, if there is no way to allow normal winter holiday festivities.

LucillevsLowkee · 02/11/2020 00:08

@TazMac

Mumsnet always does a roaring trade in competitive cleaning threads. Along with the “I only eat a stick of celery and some grapes each day, don’t you feel bloated if you eat actual meals?” threads.
balanced by the competitive self-proclaimed slattern threads, along with the "anyone who is not over-eating is lying or miserable" threads.
Shinyletsbebadguys · 02/11/2020 01:06

@Sparklingbrook

Father Christmas is going to be a real super spreader isn't he? Going around everyone's house touching everything and using their glasses and plates. he's an essential worker apparently, but I think he should be furloughed to be on the safe side.
Grin ds1 asked this morning if Father Christmas would be affected by lockdown he means will his presents drop in number and quality yeah probably kid and reading this thread I completely missed a trick. I should have told him that Santa and the elfs were locked down and I could have saved all of the hassle.

Sadly dammit , I love him and I didn't and didn't think of it at the time

Mind you , for the best really ds2 would start a one child protest to downing street if I tried pulling that. The police do not have enough riot shields for him.

PorpoiseSpitGazzette · 02/11/2020 01:32

Santa always swigs his single malt from a sterling silver quaich here. I’ll pop the mince pies and carrots in a to go bag this year.

PhilCornwall1 · 02/11/2020 01:37

ds1 asked this morning if Father Christmas would be affected by lockdown

Father Christmas is buggered. He's morbidly obese so is ECV and is now shielding Grin

RedToothBrush · 02/11/2020 08:32

@PhilCornwall1

ds1 asked this morning if Father Christmas would be affected by lockdown

Father Christmas is buggered. He's morbidly obese so is ECV and is now shielding Grin

And that's ehy this year there is the valid argument that santa has sent out the presents early to parents to deliver on his behalf because hes clinically vulnerable, can't bypass quarantine laws and doesn't want to enter homes where people are isolating.

Won't someone think of the poor children of New Zealand who wont have a stocking otherwise

Otherwise we may risk killing santa off forever. He's not immortal you know (just well over a 1000 years old).

RedToothBrush · 02/11/2020 08:34

Hasn't santa already survived numerous pandemics though? Maybe we should be taking samples of his blood for medical research.

PhilCornwall1 · 02/11/2020 08:35

Otherwise we may risk killing santa off forever. He's not immortal you know (just well over a 1000 years old).

He's looking bloody good on it, that's for sure, that's what working 1 day a year does for you. Grin

MiddleClassMother · 02/11/2020 09:01

There is always something to moan about on mumsnet. Don't you worry. I love it, I won't be leaving anytime soon.

RedToothBrush · 02/11/2020 09:04

@PhilCornwall1

Otherwise we may risk killing santa off forever. He's not immortal you know (just well over a 1000 years old).

He's looking bloody good on it, that's for sure, that's what working 1 day a year does for you. Grin

He doesn't work one day a year!!! What you on about?

He has to run the elf factory all year. That includes a lot of HR and logistics in manufacturing, ordering and managing the elves (some of them are not as hard workers as other and some still have problems at home which affect their work). Not forgetting this year hes had extra issues with covid to work out so hes had to work extra hours and have the elves work two shift patterns to make sure the workplace is covid safe. He's had problems with elves going off sick but has managed to get onsite testing now to prevent problems with production. He has a sign on his wall saying 'putting the elf into health and safety' and takes the welfare of employees seriously. He is horrified by working practices at Amazon...

He's not past getting on the production line himself if required. Everyone knows wrapping presents takes far longer than you think, so every year he ends up wrapping with the elves into the early hours (elves are paid well for overtime don't worry).

He also has to collect letters from children, file and allocate presents accordingly. And reply where appropriate. He has to maintain 'The List' too which is no mean feat and gets harder every year with the growth of the human race. Santa is slightly concerned about this as he's reaching the maximum capacity for his workshop. He also has a personal vested interest in this because over population is adding to the problems of pollution and global warming which for someone in Lapland is a pretty big deal. The reindeer need cold conditions for their welfare.

Which brings me to the reindeer. A reindeer is for life not just for Christmas. They are domesticated reindeer not wild reindeer so need tending too daily.

Sheesh. I thought everyone knew this stuff.

No wonder Santa feels taken for granted.

Hobnobswantshernameback · 02/11/2020 09:13
Grin
OP posts:
PhilCornwall1 · 02/11/2020 09:23

@RedToothBrush

Oops, sorry!!! Grin

Dominicgoings · 02/11/2020 11:20

He doesn’t even have proper PPE Wink

DynamoKev · 02/11/2020 12:11

I mean....what will people find to moan about
Fireworks
Old People
Young People
Brexit voters
Dog owners