@NameChange84 I so know how you feel - I’ve had some really rough Christmases, wanting to hibernate when everyone else is so jolly and there seems to be a massive flashing neon sign in the air that says “ARE WE HAVING FUN YET?”
The sign for me that things had to change was when I was in my 20s at a NYE house party that I’d been persuaded to go to. I didn’t realise I was the only single person there until the clock struck midnight and everyone had someone else to kiss but me. I’m quite stoical but that did me in and I swore I’d never put myself in that position again.
Now my Christmases are all about self-care. I don’t go mad on Xmas stuff - a fake tree and garland over the mantelpiece is as far as I go. I invest in nice food for me, a couple of bottles of wine, and several books. I always buy myself a present - one year a fucking expensive candle, another year a black and decker workbench. I tidy up before Xmas Eve. Then I spend the Christmas period almost in hibernation - lots of reading, the odd non-Xmas film, long baths, face masks, pedicures, bundle up, earbuds in, and go for a walk every day.
NYE I get up early, and clean the house from top to bottom - a real spring clean. Kitchen cupboards, bathroom deep clean, wardrobe sort out, the lot. Then a hot bath, nice tea, phone on silent, early night with a book and a Nytol, and asleep well before midnight. The following morning it’s a new year new start and then back to work. My mood visibly lifts when I can feel it’s almost a whole year until the next one.
Won’t work for everyone but these are my ways of “getting through it”.