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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

"Scary teddy"

40 replies

Crazyoldmaurice · 30/10/2020 21:46

2 daughters aged 5 and 3 share a bedroom. 5 year old has said for a little while that 3 year olds big Teddy (he is only just a little bit shorter than 3 year old now) scares her and she doesnt like him. I had a big sort out of their soft toys a month or two ago and put half of them in a vacuum pack bag thing as they had too many on each of their beds and I wanted to free up some space, I vacuum packed Teddy as he is rather big.

3 year old started asking for big Ted back this afternoon, said we would get him back later. 5 year old starts saying she doesn't want big ted in the room as his black eyes are too beady and he gives her nightmares. I say I can take him away again when her sister dozes off again as the 3 year old goes off fairly quickly. No. Even just seeing him once will give her nightmares apparently.

Hoped 3 year old would forget about big Ted tonight but she started wailing for him right before going to sleep and cried hard and loud enough to wake baby brother when we said to get him in the morning. Got him out and gave to 3 year old. 5 year old now saying she can't sleep. Tried saying its like her sister suddenly saying she finds her fave cuddly toy too scary and she can't take them to bed anymore. Said discreetly I would go in and take big ted back out once her sister is asleep but just heard 3 year old whispering to Teddy "I missed you so much, never go away again teddy" and she asked me twice not to take him away again.

What should I do here? Both girls aren't great sleepers yet and both tend to wake up at least once in the night. Teddy isn't particularly scary looking either so don't know where it has come from.

How do I win this one? AIBU to leave teddy in the bed tonight? They can't have separate rooms unfortunately 😕

OP posts:
WantANewHome · 30/10/2020 21:51

Can teddy be made pretty with accessories? Sunglasses maybe? A flower clip in his hair. Something to make him look less scary and more funny.

Funkypolar · 30/10/2020 21:52

Have you tried an exorcism OP?

ScrapThatThen · 30/10/2020 21:58

I think this is your 5 year old getting worked up probably because she wants to be in charge. Good time to explain that when we are anxious the trick is not to avoid but to make peace with the things that make us afraid. I like pps suggestions a lot. Get her to draw a really silly picture of ted. Get them playing a game including all the toys in the day. Praise any interactions with Ted and ignore or play down any panics about ted. Restate the non negotiable this is your sisters toy and she wants him. Do a reward chart to work towards buying her a new toy after 5 nights or more of no fuss.

Original poster
Crazyoldmaurice · 30/10/2020 21:59

@WantANewHome I suggested getting a sleeping mask for Teddy to OH but my daughter chimed in she would still know his beady eyes are looking around Halloween Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
Crazyoldmaurice · 30/10/2020 22:00

@Funkypolar an exorcism is definitely on the cards if ted doesn't lose the bad vibes

OP posts:
SavoyCabbage · 30/10/2020 22:02

This is tricky!

I think I'd try and wire on the 'relationship' between your five year old and Big Teddy.

All of my dd's cuddly toys have back stories. One works in a green grocers, another is a head waiter in a French restaurant. Some are best friends with others. One is an urban fox and scoffs at the country foxes, He lives on his wits whilst the country fox runs a B&B.

Could Big Teddy go out shopping with your girls tomorrow for a new t-shirt?

WantANewHome · 30/10/2020 22:03

With the greatest of respect to her and to you, that is the time when I tell my DS in a really kind way, to stop being silly. If she tries the mask she could see he can't see through it? I would try the mask and reassure her.
😊

Original poster
Crazyoldmaurice · 30/10/2020 22:04

@ScrapThatThen thank you for the ideas, will give them all a go and see how she reacts. My brain is so fried from the baby I would never have thought about getting her more involved with him, thanks.

OP posts:
LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 30/10/2020 22:10

I thought you were going to say that when you got him out of the vacuum bag his face had a evil look on it.

TrainspottingWelsh · 30/10/2020 22:22

Can you find a cuddly for 5yr old that will 'watch out' for scary teddy? Complete with backstory and demonstration of how it can make scary teddy be good if scary teddy was to be planning anything bad?

(I speak as someone that was once the puppeteer in 'cuddly toy kicks the ass of massive tree branch near window')

RiftGibbon · 30/10/2020 22:27

Will Scary Teddy become the new Birdy Friend?

CutToChase · 30/10/2020 22:30

I think we need a picture of Big Ted

TwentyViginti · 30/10/2020 22:32

Teddy bear/soft toy picnic tomorrow. Be careful though - Teddies are known to be greedy with the biscuits. Someone will have to be in charge.

MessAllOver · 30/10/2020 22:32

Offer your 5 year old a sleeping-bag on the hall floor if big Ted is scaring her. She'll soon realise it will be much nicer to be in her comfy bed despite his beady eyes.

fiddlerjo · 30/10/2020 22:35

I'd have a teddy bears pubic, dd1 could even bakes some biscuits and be the host of the party and so have to organise all the toys with help from big ted perhaps.

Charleyhorses · 30/10/2020 22:36

No wonder he is pissed off if you have vacuum packed him

Charleyhorses · 30/10/2020 22:37

A teddy bears pubic?

Diverseduvet · 30/10/2020 22:42

Tell the kids all their teddy's will scare the baby and they have to donate them immediately. It doesn't matter if baby is asleep, them just being in the house is upsetting him.

Barryisland · 30/10/2020 22:47

Just bin the big teddy. Small child will soon forget.

Thefaceofboe · 30/10/2020 22:49

I’d get rid of your teddy. Your 5yo is scared of the teddy and that’s not fair, your 3yo can just have another teddy surely.

DinosaurOfFire · 30/10/2020 23:25

Don't throw out the big teddy, explain to your five year old that she is safe, teddies can't do anything to hurt you, and while his eyes may be scary to her they are just pretend eyes? I had a teddy as a child whose eyes freaked me out so I took them off, not recommending this route! But perhaps teddy could wear a mask to sleep in, one of those pamering ones with elastic? Your 3 year old should not have to give up her treasured teddy.

myhobbyisouting · 30/10/2020 23:30

New eyes for big ted then 😂

myhobbyisouting · 30/10/2020 23:31

Or you could have a teddy bears pubic, can't believe you didn't do that before you vacuum packed the fucker tbh

HollaHolla · 30/10/2020 23:46

I had a bikini wax earlier. Wish I’d asked for a Tenby bear pubic.

ForeverBubblegum · 30/10/2020 23:52

You can actually buy replacement teddy eyes, when I was a kid one of mine lost an eye and my mum fixed it Could teddy have an eye transplant?

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