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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think we shouldn't have been questioned about our method of transport

154 replies

Johnmenses · 30/10/2020 19:28

I'd booked a meal tonight in a tier 2 restaurant. One bubble. This was clarified when I'd phoned earlier in week.

We arrived in 4 cars for various reasons.

The Front of house politely questioned how we could come 4 cars and still be in one bubble. Confused

I have utmost of respect for the work hospitality staff do (I work similarly) but it's not their role to police our journeys.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Bl3ss3dm0m · 30/10/2020 20:48

OP, l am probably not the only one here who would be interested to know how your bubble works, and why you needed 4 different cars? We are a family of 6 adults who all live in the same house (Mum, Dad, two adult children and their partners), if we were going out together for a meal (even if straight from work for those of us who work), we would still meet at home first and take 2 cars - both for the sake of the environment, and so that only 2 people couldn't drink - your set up sounds so strange, that I would have wanted to see proof that at least 5 of you did live in the same house! There are some selfish people who would lie on the phone about whether they were from one household or not, he couldn't have known that you were honest.

Ignoringequally · 30/10/2020 20:52

If they’re all out in the cars anyway for work, how would everyone driving home then transferring into two cars and going out again be any better for the environment? Confused. And many people don’t drink!

Crunchymum · 30/10/2020 20:54

So why did you have to come in 4 cars @Johnmenses?

Doodiesbear · 30/10/2020 20:57

What sort of unreasonable things?

Demanding people break company policies and licensing laws for one. I've lost count of the amount of times people have kicked off because I've ID'd them or because they believe it's legal to give their child alcohol over 5 years old despite the law on licenced premises stating very different (16/17 yo rule)

Ask for something off menu and then complain when they can't have it because you don't carry the ingredients.

Complain and abuse staff when told no, we can't just squeeze you in because we're fully booked.

Kick off because they ordered the wrong thing and then decide that the waiting staff and kitchen should have been mind readers.
Demanded a change of meal/drink because they don't like what they've ordered, even when it comes as described, and don't think they need to pay for it.

Moving tables into larger groups than 6 and getting shitty when asked not to.

Refusing to follow one way systems.

Demanding service at the bar.

And all those customers have one thing in common - they got an apology for it, and sometimes some sort of 'compensation' !
Why on earth should anyone have to apologise for following the law? Or their company policies? Or for not being able to magic extra ingredients or space out of their arse?

None of these things apply to this OP of course, but you asked what unreasonable things and there's a few I've been on the recieving end of since July.
Why do people think it's ok to demand others break laws and put their jobs at risk because it suits them?

Ignoringequally · 30/10/2020 20:59

Why do people think it's ok to demand others break laws and put their jobs at risk because it suits them?

But the OP hasn’t done this Confused.

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 30/10/2020 21:00

We went out with three cars to the pub this week

Just the way it worked out

(And i could imagine a 4 car scenario)

thewitchesofprestwick · 30/10/2020 21:05

Let’s set aside the question for a moment, I’m curious... why did you each arrive in separate cars? Did you all come straight from work? If there’s an easy explanation like that, surely you would just tell them and it would be no big deal?

Doodiesbear · 30/10/2020 21:08

@Ignoringequally

Why do people think it's ok to demand others break laws and put their jobs at risk because it suits them?

But the OP hasn’t done this Confused.

Which is maybe why the following line says this doesn't apply to the OP of course. You asked me a question. I answered it. I was making the point that people are so used to places bending over backwards to accommodate them that now they can't, because there's a lot more at stake and venue's are enforcing things, some people don't like it at all and feel hard done by.
ShalomToYouJackie · 30/10/2020 21:08

OP why are you ignoring everyone who asks why you arrived in 4 cars?

CherryPieface · 30/10/2020 21:09

One bubble and four cars? This is why the planet is dying.

katsucurry · 30/10/2020 21:10

Why did they come in 4 cars?

All came to the restaurant straight from/on the way to work/university?

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 30/10/2020 21:11

@katsucurry

Why did they come in 4 cars?

All came to the restaurant straight from/on the way to work/university?

Well thats what id imagine
Lindy2 · 30/10/2020 21:11

They asked you because plenty of idiots lie and are still meeting up in groups of several households.

They wanted to check you weren't one of the lying idiots. Arriving in 4 cars clearly makes it look possible that you have arrived from potentially 4 households. I don't think that it's rocket science that they might have thought that.

Surely just answering their question would be the most sensible and straightforward thing to do rather than feel all offended and make an unnecessary fuss.

thosetalesofunexpected · 30/10/2020 21:13

I totally agree with hospality Resturant industry they want to ensure there staff are safe and other people as much as possible sat at the Resturant .

Get over sense of entitlement speacial treatment, its the sign of times
How ridicolous the sentiment that uk gov is being like Nazi police , in this instance !

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 30/10/2020 21:14

@Lindy2

They asked you because plenty of idiots lie and are still meeting up in groups of several households.

They wanted to check you weren't one of the lying idiots. Arriving in 4 cars clearly makes it look possible that you have arrived from potentially 4 households. I don't think that it's rocket science that they might have thought that.

Surely just answering their question would be the most sensible and straightforward thing to do rather than feel all offended and make an unnecessary fuss.

Theres no evidence to suggest that the op didnt just answer the question or that she made a fuss

Mumsnet is full of ‘ i didnt say anything but im a bit annoyed’ posts

Doesnt mean she kicked off

RedRiverShore · 30/10/2020 21:14

Were they in the car park checking who got out of which car then, how would they know, did they ask what car you came in. Some people might arrive on foot or park elsewhere

Ignoringequally · 30/10/2020 21:14

There’s literally no point arguing about this @Doodiesbear but your post said that people have demanded unreasonable things for too long, implying that the OP is demanding something unreasonable, no? When asked, none of the unreasonable things you listed had any relevance at all to the OP. Confusing.

BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze · 30/10/2020 21:15

They were just checking. And they asked politely. Why would it be a problem?

fiddlerjo · 30/10/2020 21:16

They were right to ask, not doing so risks them getting a huge fine and potentially all losing their jobs. It's no different to supermarkets doing age checks for restricted products.

Quaagars · 30/10/2020 21:20

@EhUp

You can't deny that one 'household' travelling somewhere in 4 separate cars is very unusual/odd so I can totally see how they might think you were bullshitting about being a household bubble!
This - one bubble and four separate cars arriving, I'm not surprised they were a bit Confused, I probably would have been too!
thosetalesofunexpected · 30/10/2020 21:21

No need to have 4 cars to get to Resturant venue its bad polluting for envoriment and it was bound to raise Resturant staff suspions how naïve you were all Op to think otherwise

Doodiesbear · 30/10/2020 21:21

@Ignoringequally

There’s literally no point arguing about this *@Doodiesbear* but your post said that people have demanded unreasonable things for too long, implying that the OP is demanding something unreasonable, no? When asked, none of the unreasonable things you listed had any relevance at all to the OP. Confusing.
No I wasn't implying that the OP was demanding something unreasonable, it was my take on why people have such an issue with venue's now attempting to enforce these measures they've had laid at their door. The OP clearly has an issue with the venue checking that the rules are being stuck to or they wouldn't have posted.
Sophiesdog2020 · 30/10/2020 21:25

I can’t believe people are questioning how anyone could have 4 cars in the same bubble.

We are a family of 4 adults, myself, DH, DS (23 - back after finishing uni), DD 20 on extended gap year (travel cancelled!). We have a car each. DH and I currently working at home, but usually commute 35+ miles with different start times. DS and DD both work in retail at moment, a variety of shifts, some early, some late.

I can easily see a situation where we might meet for a meal out, with kids both coming separately from work and we take a 3rd car. However, if either DH or I worked outside home at moment, that could easily be 4 cars.

We are not alone in having a household of 4 adults and 4 cars. Many of the families we know through having the kids have the same, and I can think of at least one other family where they meet for an evening meal with all coming separately from work.

Op, I can see why they asked, and why you feel aggrieved, I would too, but it’s a sign of the times.

Al1langdownthecleghole · 30/10/2020 21:30

@ShalomToYouJackie

OP why are you ignoring everyone who asks why you arrived in 4 cars?
This. It's kinda key to the discussion.
Nottherealslimshady · 30/10/2020 21:31

But OP said 'for various reasons " so not "because we all came from work"

Staff were correct to question 4 cars. They should also have questioned two couples but they can't really take it any further than "are you all one bubble"

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