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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask if you would forward face an 11 month old baby

136 replies

NastyPeace · 29/10/2020 21:08

Mil wants a car seat. She bought one I was not happy with without asking me. I've checked the ADAC and I would prefer an i-size isofix seat (basically the same as what I have) and have agreed to cover the cost difference as it is huge! Anyway, I'm half wondering, with the driving they are likely to be doing any impact would, hopefully, not be too bad. A forward facing seat would be cheaper and last longer but tbh I think I'd rather just go with my gut on this and not worry about the money element.

Wwyd?

OP posts:

whoareyouIwonder · 29/10/2020 22:34

@teaandlotusbiscoff

Just realised I think you mean front impact shields, not the side ones. Sorry!

Sunshinegirl82 · 29/10/2020 22:35

Also, just for clarity it is legal to FF a baby from 9kg in a seat compliant with the old regulations (R44). If you have an isize seat the minimum legal age to FF is 15months.

SinkGirl · 29/10/2020 22:36

@BeardieWeirdie

My almost 6 year old rear faces and has plenty of room left - the seat will fit up to 25kg. I’ve a polo, standard seats. The seat belt goes under/over/under at the crotch and then there are catches at the back that join on to tether straps that loop around the driver’s seat.

Which seat do you have? We have a Polo too and need fo buy for my twins who are approaching weight limit of current seats and need a harness. Was considering Joie Bold which is FF only but feeling anxious about it!

Sunshinegirl82 · 29/10/2020 22:39

@SinkGirl

It sounds like something like the axkid minikid or move or the Britax Maxway which are all rear facing up to 25kg. In Car Safety Centre online is great for the 25kg seats, they are still quite hard to track down as none of the standard big retailers stock them.

Rentacar · 29/10/2020 22:39

My 10 year old rear faced until age 5 and my 11 year old rear faced until 7 (on the small side) and didn't outgrow the 25kg harnessed seat until age 9 (Britax Two Way Elite).

user626847 · 29/10/2020 22:40

No, but there are budget friendly rearfacing seats that use seatbelts so you don't have to spend a fortune and faff with tethers for occasional use. My nearly 4 year old is resurfacing in a Joie tilt, that was only about £40. Joie Stages and Joie Every Stage just use seatbelts for extended rearfacing too. They aren't the best seats for forward facing thorough. Also all my kids, small and large for she fitted in the baby seat until they were at least 2, check the actual height and weight maximum and you might be surprised to find they have a long time left in a baby carrier.

Rentacar · 29/10/2020 22:42

In 2010 we turned my the 18m old eldest forward facing as we hadn't heard of extended rear facing. When we did when our child was two, we turned them back round using an ERF seat. They didn't notice the difference!

Roundtoedshoes · 29/10/2020 22:49

Definitely not. Most of my friends did though after the first infant seat had become too small around a year old. One was not going to waste money (plus her DC liked ff apparently), another said their dc was too big to rf, and a third, despite having a 360 spin, decided that her dc also liked to ff. They all know the facts. I rf and intend to as long as possible.

Osirus · 29/10/2020 22:57

@nestisflown

It’s not 15 months minimum- it depends on the weight. A very heavy baby could forward face earlier. But it’s not recommended given their weak necks at that age.

It’s based on the type of seat - height or weight based, rather than age.

Don’t compromise on safety. Joie Stages is around £100 and is rear facing until around 4, depending on weight.

Osirus · 29/10/2020 22:58

@NastyPeace

Only on an i-size seat is it 15 months minimum. You have all echoed my thoughts. He will be in there car on average at least once/twice a week. The one I'm looking at is Cybex. Good ADAC and decent (for that type of seat) price. Will go for it. Thank you, I knew this but needed to get it out.

It’s irresponsible to FF before 4.

Marsis · 29/10/2020 23:12

These sort of threads always go this way and to be honest I probably wouldn’t turn a child that young around. However some of the comments are a bit inflammatory and fall under what I consider ‘RF propaganda.’
‘Statistically much safer’ is not true statistically not enough children die in car accidents to make any statistical analysis of whether RF is any safer then FF. Modern cars are extremely safe and as long as a child is in a correctly fitted size appropriate seat they would more than likely be fine. You are turning a tiny risk to a minuscule risk. Theoretically breastfeeding is better but we don’t berate women’s right to choose not to, co-sleeping etc etc.

TokenGinger · 29/10/2020 23:14

Absolutely not. And I disagree that it would be cheaper. The Joie Tilt is £40 in Argos at the moment and rear faced until 18kg.

I would not forward face a child until age 4 when it's safe to do so.

soffiee · 29/10/2020 23:17

I had to turn my little one at 16 months to ff as he was getting motion sickness from travelling rf. I think 11 months is way too young. Here on mumsnet you will get 17 yearold dc rf still 😂

TokenGinger · 29/10/2020 23:22

@Marsis

These sort of threads always go this way and to be honest I probably wouldn’t turn a child that young around. However some of the comments are a bit inflammatory and fall under what I consider ‘RF propaganda.’ ‘Statistically much safer’ is not true statistically not enough children die in car accidents to make any statistical analysis of whether RF is any safer then FF. Modern cars are extremely safe and as long as a child is in a correctly fitted size appropriate seat they would more than likely be fine. You are turning a tiny risk to a minuscule risk. Theoretically breastfeeding is better but we don’t berate women’s right to choose not to, co-sleeping etc etc.

It's not about who dies. It's about the stress it puts on to the neck and spine when forward facing and the risk of internal decapitation. It's just not a risk worth taking.

This video is helpful in visualising the different impact on the child when FF/RF.

Feelingconfused2020 · 29/10/2020 23:23

Can you not just transfer your seat until she is older? That's what we've done. We allowed her to forward face in my dad and mums cars from younger than we did in the family car (about 2.5) so they still got use out of their seats. We felt the risk.was tiny by that age as only local journeys on rare occasions. At this age I would feel the risk was higher and wouldn't take it myself.

In our case they already had seats as they have older grandchildren and the advice has changed fairly recently but I do think buying an inappropriate seat is a bit silly these days. It's almost like they are saying they know better.

ImFree2doasiwant · 29/10/2020 23:26

Absolutely not. I ended up buying 4 car seats in total so both DS could rear face in my parents car. It really doesn't matter how often or not they are driving, or even how they drive, or where it only takes 1 accident. You cant account for other people driving badly.

ClaireP20 · 29/10/2020 23:30

My oldest 2 were about a year when they moved from the first isofix rear facing to their second, forward facing. They had a brilliant swivel one that turned to the side so you could get them in the car easier. They get bored staring at the back of the chair don't they? So bloody dull for them, but needs must. Wouldn't do it before a year (or thereabouts), I don't think. But whatever one you do decide on, the isofix seats are much easier.

Feelingconfused2020 · 29/10/2020 23:31

It’s irresponsible to FF before 4 this is an extreme view, you need to be stop being so judgemental.

Firstly age has fuck all to do with it, it's size and development and it's so hard to get right. Secondly I have a 7 year old who could, if I had wanted her to, forward face from 9 months. The advice is very new and therefore people don't all get the memo, many have older siblings and so already have the seats and can't afford to replace and we don't all feel the same about the risk as the reality is the risk is minimal.

I was in a minor car accident with dd2 who was rear facing at age 2 in 2015. She was the only one of her peers to still be rear facing. At that point we got rid of the seat as is right (stupidly not realising we could claim on insurance) and so we replaced but couldn't afford to buy another £200 rear facing seat so bought the appropriate forward facing one that cost about £60.

Because the law had changed for dd2 we bought the appropriate rear facing seat at a cost of £150(ISH). So just in these three transactions we've spent over £400 on car seats, that doesn't include baby seats and boosters etc.

It's just not affordable for all. Rear facing for second and subsequent seats is more expensive, it shouldn't be but it is.

whoareyouIwonder · 29/10/2020 23:32

* It's* irresponsible to FF before 4.

What a delightfully judgemental comment.

Sure you win over lots of people that way.

Mylittlesandwich · 29/10/2020 23:32

From the reading I've done I feel that rear facing for as long as possible is the safest thing to do. If your DC is 11 months they would probably fit in a 25kg rear facing seat. They are fitted by belts rather than isofix but so long as you do it properly they're very safe. I have the Britax maxway I found it really straightforward to fit. There is one isofix rear facing seat that goes to 23kg but it's VERY expensive.

Slightlybrwnbanana · 29/10/2020 23:32

with the driving they are likely to be doing any impact would, hopefully, not be too bad
Most accidents happen near to home. Don't kid yourself it couldn't be bad.
I don't think an 11 month old should be out of their infant carrier, it's not even about extended rear facing this is just minimal rear facing!

ClaireP20 · 29/10/2020 23:34

@TokenGinger

Absolutely not. And I disagree that it would be cheaper. The Joie Tilt is £40 in Argos at the moment and rear faced until 18kg.

I would not forward face a child until age 4 when it's safe to do so.

Bet that's good for their poor scrunched up legs! 4 years old..blimey...get a grip!

Mylittlesandwich · 29/10/2020 23:35

Also rear facing isn't dull for children. They can still see out of side windows and the headrest can be removed for them to see out the back too.

Mylittlesandwich · 29/10/2020 23:36

They're also perfectly comfortable. Depending on the child some can rear face to 6/7.

Marsis · 29/10/2020 23:37

I understand the theory and it is just that a theory. They even had to stop using some of the catch phrases ‘5 x safer’ etc as not proven. I just think there is some hyperbole on these threads ‘irresponsible to FF before 4’ ‘google internal decapitation then decide’ everybody makes decisions that worry people unnecessarily. Has there been a significant number of injuries due to a child being in a forward facing seat excluding other factors such as inappropriate or incorrectly fitted seats or poor quality seats? If you feel better for doing it then carry on but don’t judge others who have risk assessed the situation and deem it not to be significant.

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