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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think a 6 year old is too young to be forced to where a mask?

496 replies

Meadow1203 · 29/10/2020 11:58

This is now the law [in France] edited by MNHQ for clarity. I think this could be very frightening for a small child.

OP posts:
Marzipan12 · 29/10/2020 15:11

@flaviaritt as you child grows they will have to do lots of things they don't like, are you going to permit her to get her own way each time? I feel very sorry for her if you do because she will grow up thinking everything revolves around her. We wear masks for others safety, you can use this as a teaching opportunity to help others or you can carry on giving her a fear over a piece of cloth, a fear that you created

flaviaritt · 29/10/2020 15:12

Zilla1

They are supposed to limit the breathing. And they do. I’ve just worn one for half an hour and breathing is more difficult.

flaviaritt · 29/10/2020 15:13

Marzipan12

I think you’re being goady so am ignoring you and your unsolicited advice now.

timeforanewstart · 29/10/2020 15:13

@CleverCatty can't be compulsory unless sen only may be other reasons why people can't wear them including some children
And if people geniunelly can't wear them then i don't see it as my business to know why

flaviaritt · 29/10/2020 15:14

MessAllOver

Yes. You’d think some of these people have never dealt with a distressed kid before. They gasp, they snot, they cough. They need clear mouth and nose to breathe. If there is anyone who would force a mask on a child in that state then I say that is child abuse.

Marzipan12 · 29/10/2020 15:15

Or so you wouldn't force her into her car seat if she got upset?,you would let her hurtle thro the windscreen at 60 miles per hour instead? Crazy. Kids have to do things they don't want, that's life.

timeforanewstart · 29/10/2020 15:15

Also i don't believe 2 year olds wear a mask all day at nursery without touching them etc
Therefore i would be concerned of i lived in a country that expected children this young to wear them as well as developmentally as well

CleverCatty · 29/10/2020 15:17

I get what you say re can't be compulsory but I think they should be. I don't need to know the reasons why either - someone else mentioned SEN which is why I quoted that but if there are other issues then these should be taken into consideration.

What I don't think is right - is a childhood friend of mine who's a single mum and has 11 year old son - both of them refuse to wear masks as she thinks it's a conspiracy theory - Covid 19 - yet her DS is half Jamaican/Indian heritage too so surely he'd be at more risk due to his heritage. She was very strident defending herself about this and telling me about it via Messenger. Ended our friendship!

Marzipan12 · 29/10/2020 15:17

Ok so you are back to child's rights and child abuse now over a piece of cloth that protects others in a pandemic. You really are a classic example of precious.

Helenluvsrob · 29/10/2020 15:18

Why is it frightening ?
It’s a normal thing if you make it normal and everyone else wears one.

It could even be fun - favourite character / superhero etc.

No different to wearing a hat when it’s cold surely

CleverCatty · 29/10/2020 15:18

@timeforanewstart

Also i don't believe 2 year olds wear a mask all day at nursery without touching them etc Therefore i would be concerned of i lived in a country that expected children this young to wear them as well as developmentally as well
My DNephew who's 2 attends nursery a few days a week but in Avon which is a low risk area - tier 1 - he doesn't wear a mask.
flaviaritt · 29/10/2020 15:20

No different to wearing a hat when it’s cold surely

If a hat caused my child severe distress I wouldn’t make her wear one. Why would I? We don’t live in Siberia. She’ll just get cold. Same with a mask. If it doesn’t cause distress and she views it like a hat, cracking. If it does (and I think it would) I would never force her.

Porcupineinwaiting · 29/10/2020 15:21

Well no @Chickenandrice "the experts" (do you mean doctors and scientists?) wont know everything because this is a novel virus. We dont know everything about chicken pox or the common cold yet either.

We know children can catch coronavirus.
We know that older children are more symptomatic that younger ones.
We know that, post puberty, children are actually adults, biologically speaking.
We know that some adults spread coronavirus far more than others due to the viral volumes in their throats - but we dont know how to identify these "superspreaders" before the event.
We dont know how often children transmit the virus, or how it varies between children, but we can intuit that a feverish coughing child is more likely to be shedding virus than an asymptomatic one. We know that children are major transmitters of just about every other respiratory virus you care to name, so it is unlikely that coronavirus will be a total exception to that.

So all things considered we know quite a lot and can make intelligent guesses about a lot more. But you need to listen to researchers telling you what is known, not politicians and their representatives telling you what they want to be true.

flaviaritt · 29/10/2020 15:21

yet her DS is half Jamaican/Indian heritage too so surely he'd be at more risk due to his heritage.

The risk to an 11 year old of any ethnicity is absolutely minuscule.

HazeyJaneII · 29/10/2020 15:22

I think that in countries where masks are to be worn by children of 5 and over, that there will almost certainly be children who find themselves distressed at wearing them - I don't think you can specify that this will only be the case if there are additional needs....for a start many children are not diagnosed by the age of 5, also, as with adults - there may be other reasons why the wearing of a mask is traumatic or very difficult. For some children it may just be really difficult to wear a mask - it may be upsetting, or they may struggle to keep it on safely (if they keep touching it, taking it off etc)...that is why there are exemptions (and, I would imagine why there is that particular exemption) and no one is compelled to say why their child is exempt.

LastGoldenDaysOfSummer · 29/10/2020 15:22

@flaviaritt

Her life is worth more than your daughter's feelings.

So I assume you would force my 4 year old, sobbing, into a mask? That’s you. I think that is revolting.

In the blink of an eye I would, to save a life.

But I wouldn't have to. I'd talk to her about it in a non hysterically silly mum way and she would wear it. Children like to please adults when things are presented in the right way.

Look in the mirror. There's a woman who think she child's feelings matter more than a life. That's what is revolting. Shameful that you can't see that.

MessAllOver · 29/10/2020 15:23

If there is anyone who would force a mask on a child in that state then I say that is child abuse.

@flaviaritt. What I am more interested in is HOW precisely people think you could force a pre-school age child to wear a mask.

My two year old DS has a mask and he thinks it's quite fun to put it on for a moment or two but it soon comes off again. Things like cutting his hair, sometimes teeth-brushing, cutting nails - they have to be done and, when he's uncooperative, I sometimes resort to physical force just to get the job done. But those things only take a couple of minutes.

But wearing a mask all day...How am I meant to enforce that as a parent with a child who only has very limited reasoning and comprehension powers? I'd put the mask on, he'd take it off again, I'd put it back on, he'd take it off again....rinse, repeat Confused. Maybe with a slightly older child you'd have more luck, but I imagine even at 5/6 you'd still have the constant touching and pulling down.

MessAllOver · 29/10/2020 15:24

Look in the mirror. There's a woman who think she child's feelings matter more than a life. That's what is revolting. Shameful that you can't see that.

This is a really very unpleasant thing to say. There are valid views on both sides of the debate so surely it's not that difficult to be civil about it.

silverbubbles · 29/10/2020 15:24

Kids need to be safe too. Wearing a mask is no different to a hat or gloves - they will get used to it if the parents don't make an issue of it.

flaviaritt · 29/10/2020 15:25

LastGoldenDaysOfSummer

Shameful that you are using emotionally blackmailing techniques to try to persuade parents to force their distressed children into masks against their judgement about what is acceptable. As I said, if it is deemed necessary I will remove her from school.

Sockwomble · 29/10/2020 15:25

"Anyway, more to the point, a 6-year-old should not be biting themselves or you no matter how frustrated they are. They should be WELL beyond that."

Self injurious behaviour such as biting exists in children well beyond 6.

As I said car seat problems are fixable with specialist harnesses. Unless you are going to restrain a child and tie their hands up and probably tie the child up so they can't dislodge it on something, you can't force every child to keep a mask on.

flaviaritt · 29/10/2020 15:26

silverbubbles

Children are safe from coronavirus. It doesn’t induce serious illness in small children.

flaviaritt · 29/10/2020 15:26

MessAllOver

Thank you.

HazeyJaneII · 29/10/2020 15:27

@flaviaritt

MessAllOver

Yes. You’d think some of these people have never dealt with a distressed kid before. They gasp, they snot, they cough. They need clear mouth and nose to breathe. If there is anyone who would force a mask on a child in that state then I say that is child abuse.

We'll I would imagine that is exactly why there is anyone who cannot apply a covering and wear it in the proper manner safely and consistently ..in the exemptions list.

Fortunately it seems many children are happy to wear a face covering for a short period, so that will help.

flaviaritt · 29/10/2020 15:27

What I am more interested in is HOW precisely people think you could force a pre-school age child to wear a mask.

Indeed. Mine just wouldn’t, unless I punished and bullied her. And then she would be distressed.