If your partner didn't text you for days

[RajaGemini]

Say they were really busy with work or on holiday, and they didn't text you for 3/4 days straight when you've usually been texting every day, been together for a few months. How would you feel ?

Both mid 20s

Just text ask him if everything is ok.
I can’t be arsed with playing games and refusing to text until the other party does.
Just ask him. If he doesn’t respond to that, then you know something is really amiss. I wouldn’t like the ghosting for days with no apparent reason though, it’s bad form. Hope he has a good explanation.

You're right, i'll probably get a "yeah sorry just really busy", but still.

I would think someone had turned his head. Especially if he has time to be scrolling through facebook/insta

It sounds stalkerish but I looked and he hasn't added anyone new so not sure. It would be just my luck that the very first day in a new workplace he happens to meet somebody else. Just my luck.

I would assume he didn’t feel the same about me anymore and was trying to distant himself. I’m very direct and would just ask him outright what was going on though.

Though it wouldn't surprise me, a guy last year went on holiday and just so happened to meet the love of his life on the 2nd day so I got chucked.

People can be very fickle and change out of the blue or pretend. In our last convo he was talking about us moving together and holiday plans so can't think what would have suddenly changed, but like I said nothing surprises me anymore about men.

I'd be really annoyed! I'd also react the same as you by not being the first to send a message if I was the one to initiate it last time! It is cutting off your nose to spite your face though. Maybe he feels like he is keeping in touch by liking your pictures. Childishly I think I'd go quiet on social media and see what he does then but the correct mature advise is to text him to check on him then when he has finished his work have a clear discussion on your feelings and expectations.

I had a partner do that to me. He told me his phone wasn’t working abroad but he could have contacted me other ways. Looking back it was just one of many signs that he didn’t value me or care about my feelings.

I know you probably feel worried but all you can do is just try not to think about it until he contacts you. If he acts like it was no big deal then I’d re-evaluate your relationship with him.

Yeah, part of me thinks that he wouldn't be liking my pics as he knows it'd look suspicious.
Literally if he goes more than 2/3h without hearing from me he messages me, and has even told me he's obsessed with checking if i've been online.
This project is going on for the next 3 days, I really hope I get a good explanation at the end because i'm really not happy.

I'm always so nice to people and tbh I think there's no point because I just end up not being valued.
When we had these minor disagreements in the past, (him talking a lot about an ex and then wanting to meet this female friend almost every day when he was visiting me) he listened to me, cancelled the plans with the friend and stopped mentioning his ex as much.

We were meant to go on a trip (hadn't paid for it) but this really important work op came up, I told him that he should go for it and we could rearrange our plans because these kind of opportunities didn't come up every day, i'm always reasonable, flexible and understanding yet think about what I want too, but I am probably being too nice and not 'challenging' or whatever the term is these days.

It wouldn't bother me.But I've been married over 20 years so it's probably very different from a new relationship. I think yanbu given it's early days.

I've just sent a casual text saying I hope it's going well, i'm gonna try give him the benefit of the doubt and see what happens.

Doesn't bother me. When I first got with my partner we would text all day every day. It gets less and less as time goes on and we've been together over a year now and can go a few days without texting each other. Nothing wrong with our relationship.

Ye I would give him the benefit of the doubt. I would also try to ease up on watching his social media etc. It can easily lead to slightly obsessing. You are both adults, so just talk to him when work calms down a bit. Just be straight. If you are talking about moving in with him etc, then you need to be honest. I would think the same as a PP; life is too short for childish rubbish of guesswork.

Yeah you're right, I will try to do that. It's finishing on Sunday, so i'll see how it goes then.
Yeah, these hard to get games are silly I know, it sounds weird but I don't want him to take me for granted and part of me wants him to feel what it could be like to lose me.

Not everyone feels the need to be surgically attached to their phone, I can go days without looking at mine. Before the advent of mobiles people went weeks without hearing from each other at times and guess what, they survived!

I'd assume his phone was broken tbh.

I’d find that weird. Unless they’d been calling instead. Generally you want to communicate with a partner.

I had a boyfriend at university who ghosted me (after more than 2 years of dating). He moved home and just stopped answering texts or his phone. The spineless arse.

(I often don’t message DH for days. But that’s because we’re pretty much always in the same house. 😆)

hmmm can't say this would bother me really. Texting can be distracting and tiring - and pointless too sometimes - just texting back meaningless stuff bout what you are up to, what you are watching, what you had for dinner..

If me or my partner are away for a few days we usually have like one phone call and a text to say we arrived safe or whatever - that's usually it!

Sounds like he has an intense work project on and doesn't need the distraction of texting

@ilikebooksandplants

If you have only been dating five months I wouldn’t really class them as a partner, so I probably wouldn’t mind too much.

If it was a serious relationship - an actual partner - I would be pissed off. And a bit alarmed. A conversation would definitely be had on his return.

Weeeelll you could look at that 2 ways, I know when i was with my now husband, we'd been together 2 months and I was going on a holiday with a friend and because at that stage we were right in the throes of honeymoon phase we messaged and called each other a lot

DP did this to me about 4 months in and I basically asked what the issue was. I said if he wasn't interested anymore that was fine but that I wouldn't wait around like this, I told him I didn't NEED a boyfriend was perfectly happy without one. I was quite stern and think it scared him a bit and I think he'd just been a bit thoughtless. He never did it again and we've no been together 6 years and own a house, TTC, planning marriage.

If he's not bothered better to know now. If he is then he should consider what you're saying and adjust.

*we've been together