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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to travel from Scotland to England over Christmas?

52 replies

Maria53 · 28/10/2020 21:40

Dealing with some tension at the moment because I live in Scotland and I dont want to travel to England to visit family over Christmas.

We always spend every other christmas with our English relatives and were supposed to do the same this year. However as the situation worsens I really don't want to do that. I get a very limited amount of time off work and I simply dont want to travel twice through airports in a short space of time and mix with 4 relatives from 2 other households

Well I've just told my family this and they are very annoyed with me. No flights booked yet but being told I am.being unreasonable. Need to resolve this either way this week. Thoughts?

OP posts:
Emmie12345 · 28/10/2020 21:43

I’m sure nationwide lockdown is imminent in England so it’s a moot point

AbbieLexie · 28/10/2020 21:44

They are being unreasonable. Grey rock technique needs to be practised with them. Stock phrase - we need to agree to disagree.

Ilikewinter · 28/10/2020 21:44

Youre not being unreasonable, stick to your decision.

sunsalutations · 28/10/2020 21:45

I don't think you can make any decisions at the moment. They should understand that, surely?

Original poster
Maria53 · 28/10/2020 21:45

But lockdown isnt likely to go on until Christmas it it? Or is it?

The point is if I dont go none of us in Scotland will go and I'll be blamed for it it seems. Not sure I care - this is a serious situation.

OP posts:
Original poster
Maria53 · 28/10/2020 21:45

They want to book flights just now

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 28/10/2020 21:47

Yes I believe there will still be plenty of restrictions at Christmas. We've not been to visit family in England either and haven't planned to either. Dh's mum would usually come up to see us in November and that's not happening eithed

Horsemad · 28/10/2020 21:48

Don't go if you don't want to. It's not like you're continually refusing to visit, is it? This is a very unpredictable year; I don't see how they can be offended, tbh.

dementedpixie · 28/10/2020 21:48

Just say no and you're not allowed to do it. Blame Nicola!

altiara · 28/10/2020 21:49

Why do they think you are unreasonable? Is it just you going from your household?

Shizzlestix · 28/10/2020 21:50

Looking at France tonight, I fear we may go the same way. I’m going to tell my family up north that I won’t be visiting for the foreseeable.

Wingedharpy · 28/10/2020 21:51

They'll get over it.
Tell them, realistically, the way things are, it's madness for anyone to consider going anywhere - it can all turn on a sixpence at the moment.
Tell them, you'll all catch up once this madness is over.
If they blame you, so what?

Veterinari · 28/10/2020 21:58

Can you drive instead of fly?

Redglitter · 28/10/2020 21:58

Just say no and you're not allowed to do it. Blame Nicola

But thats not the case. No rules have been set for Christmas yet

Just be honest and tell them with so much uncertainty theres no way youre booking just now. Why are they saying it has to be booked this week - its far too early to make any decisions about Christmas

dementedpixie · 28/10/2020 21:59

Can you see the rules relaxed for Christmas because I can't?

DeRigueurMortis · 28/10/2020 22:05

I don't think anyone can say for sure what the situation will be come Christmas, but that in itself is a reason to be cautious about plans - especially if they involve booking flights.

We've had a "family conference" via WhatsApp.

DH and I usually host (up to 12) each year - because we're best located in the "middle" of everyone, have the space and I like cooking.

We've already decided (collectively) our usual get together isn't going to happen.

We can't see a gathering of that size being allowed and I didn't want to be in the position of issuing invitations to some but not all.

As such we've agreed it's sensible for each household to make their own plans (ie we are all staying home) this year and we will have a virtual Christmas toast/catch up via zoom (probably 2 - one for present opening and another in the evening with a glass of bubbly).

We are lucky that this means no-one will be alone as everyone is part of a couple or family.

Were not happy about this but at the same time relived that the decision has been made rather than months more of thinking about it (and various plans potentially falling through as regulations change) and we will make the best of it.

So personally I think you're making the right call. The alternative is living on edge as the situation changes and in all likelihood the chances I think are slim that you'll be allowed to meet anyway.

2bazookas · 28/10/2020 22:15

We;re in Scotland and have cancelled plan to spend Xmas in England with son and DIL we haven't seen since Feb. None of us would risk flying during the pandemic.

Torvean32 · 29/10/2020 03:34

I am absolutely wanting to go from Scitlabd to England at Christmas. I've seen nobody all year and it would just be me and my dad.
I live in a low case area as does he.

Torvean32 · 29/10/2020 03:35

Scotland Confused

nosswith · 29/10/2020 07:08

Your family are being unreasonable. Especially to expect the commitment of booking flights.

SnuggyBuggy · 29/10/2020 07:13

I have a very strict rule that I will never travel for Christmas if I only get a few days off work so YANBU. Blame the pandemic if you need an excuse but you don't.

CakeRequired · 29/10/2020 07:16

If its so simple and easy to them, they can travel up for once. They can book flights, they can book a holiday home big enough for everyone. Bet if you told them that they won't do it because it inconveniences them, not you.

Don't go op if you don't want to. Say no and ignore their whining.

wasthataburp · 29/10/2020 07:19

I feel it's I reasonable for them to ask you to book flights this week. You just can't plan that far ahead at the moment. No idea what the restrictions will be at the time as they chance day to day.

Also you might lose flight money or take ages to get the money back

wasthataburp · 29/10/2020 07:19

Unreasonable I mean!! Bloody autocorrect on my phone lol

flaviaritt · 29/10/2020 07:24

Just say no.