To tell friend her Dh is out of order

[autumnbus]

I have 2 dc with asd and through the support centre I have a friend who herself has asd.
She has been telling me how her dh belittles her and I’m actually upset for her but she is saying it’s ‘understandable’

Couple of examples are :
Not wanting to go out to socialise he will say it’s ‘embarrassing’ he has to go alone and ‘embarrassing’ if she does go as she ‘doesn’t act like everyone else’
He was annoyed he had to take time off recently as they had workmen due to do building work and she needed him at home because she struggles with appointments and has the children to look after and he was angry that she can’t manage these things herself and ‘be normal’
That’s only a few examples of things she’s told me and it’s not fair is it ?
Feel like I should have a proper talk with her as I’d be devastated if my dds were ever treated this way

Maybe the Husband is a twat but that’s not the question here is it?
OP wants to know if she should “have a proper talk” with her friend.
You barely know her and are only getting one side of the story OP, maybe you could try and boost her self confidence and gently suggest that her H is being unfair but if you push too far she will probably ditch you rather than the H and she will lose your support . I think you should tread carefully

Did you miss the part where this changed AFTER they were together and married and had children? He didn't sign up for this. He's entitled to be annoyed that she's expecting him to do so much - no one on here would think it's acceptable if he were the one not doing basic things.
Obviously she's struggling but we don't know the ins and outs of their relationship. She might not be trying, she might be making excuses - we simply have no idea of the context. OP would be beyond out of order to stick her nose in.

Yes, I missed that bit, where is it?

@MakingShapes I'm not sure why I can't quote you.

It didn't change. It got worse since having DC which is normal. She has a neurological condition. Which incidentally, he knew about when he decided to have children with her.