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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to let people who drive up your arse hit you?

179 replies

Fattynotfitty · 27/10/2020 14:38

Driving home from work, two occasions had cars driving so closely behind me that if I were to stop suddenly they would hit me no doubt about it. I drive to the speed limit occasionally slightly over and it was raining too!
Sometimes I really want to just slam on my brakes and let them hit me to show them how dangerous it is! ( Of course I wouldn't but am I being unreasonable to want to do it in theory!?) I find it so intimidating and off putting when I'm driving.

OP posts:
Lilybet1980 · 27/10/2020 16:17

The safest thing you can do is concentrate on your own driving. Leave extra space between you and the car in front to minimise the risk of needing to break suddenly, same with slowing down slightly early to take corners, etc. You shouldn’t need to but these people are cocks and unfortunately the roads will always be full of cocks.

@Happyheartlovelife I’m sorry, that sounds terrifying. I’m still slightly nervous in a car after an accident over 35 years ago that I can hardly remember.

Laiste · 27/10/2020 16:18

Slow down gradually. Think smug relaxing thoughts such as ''i'm the one in front, and i am the one in control! They're probably more pissed off than i am'' And then slow down a little bit more Wink

The tailgaters have rarely got the bollocks to overtake i notice. 9 times out of 10 on the straights they sort of back off rather than go round.

The ones who come out of no where, drive up your arse for a minute or two before overtaking - don't mind them.

stackemhigh · 27/10/2020 16:19

YANBU, I would just my hand on the horn for 20 seconds now to make them stop.

People who do it on the motorway absolutely freak me out, especially when you’re already doing the speed limit (or more ahem) and the traffic is busy so there’s no option to move lanes to let them pass.*

I hope you’re only doing this in the left hand lane? Middle lane hoggers are annoying.

cologne4711 · 27/10/2020 16:19

It is really annoying, I had someone do it to me today. 30 limit, I was probably doing a bit over so there was no need to dash up to me. Once I saw he was so close I couldn't even see his reg no I slowed down. Took him a while to back off. I don't use my brakes though, I just take my foot off the accelerator.

What I would say is if you notice someone come up just behind you, do give them a chance to slow down and don't drive more and more slowly to make a point (not right away). Sometimes you come round a bend and find someone going much more slowly - I hate having to brake unnecessarily when all I needed to do was take my foot off the gas if they'd just kept at the same speed. It seems to be a MN thing to really slow down if someone comes up behind you quickly - there is a difference between that and tail-gating - give people a chance.

cologne4711 · 27/10/2020 16:20

I hope you’re only doing this in the left hand lane? Middle lane hoggers are annoying

You appear to have missed this bit of the pp's post:

the traffic is busy so there’s no option to move lanes to let them pass

MinorMinnie · 27/10/2020 16:21

Great sticker Madison

CakeRequired · 27/10/2020 16:22

By slowing down gradually and not using your brakes, you're really just creating a dangerous situation as they don't know you are slowing down. If they aren't paying attention like you think they aren't, they are likely to hit you. Seems a bit silly to get yourself injured and your own car wrecked over a twat.

I slow down by braking. The brake lights are rather bright, and I just keep doing it until they back off. I don't brake sharply, just enough to activate the lights which is barely anything. Do the same for idiots who leave their full beams on with me in front of them. It's just courtesy to turn the damn things off when you see another car.

MinorMinnie · 27/10/2020 16:24

HappyHeart how awful Sad Flowers.

I hate tailgaters and aggressive drivers with a passion, but these tools seem to be everywhere.

There aren't enough speed cameras in the world to deal with these nasty little jerks (which is what they are all told).

SlopesOff · 27/10/2020 16:24

Probably not the best idea but I use a mirror to reflect their lights back at them. Slows them down a bit if they are being an arse.

stackemhigh · 27/10/2020 16:26

@cologne4711 no I did see that but I see lots of drivers who can move to the left hand lane but don’t. I move to the LHL myself.

RincewindsHat · 27/10/2020 16:31

A car once drove so close into the back of my car, I slowed down gradually and actually came to a full stop in the road as they refused to brake, were shouting and gesticulating like mad at me, and were so close they were practically in the back seat of my car. I gave them ample opportunity to overtake (clear, wide road, good visibility, nothing oncoming). If I had a rear camera, I would have reported them, they were driving insanely dangerously and aggressively with no justification.

Nottherealslimshady · 27/10/2020 16:35

Well it's illegal and crazy dangerous so YABU.

I dont notice it happen often to me tbh, but I am a driver that sticks to the top end of the speed limit and I do get very frustrated with drivers going 30 in a 60 and stuff. If you cant drive within 5mph of the speed limit (excluding very poor whether and the occasional tight bend) then you're not a capable driver and need more lessons, driving too slow is also dangerous. Only time I really remember is when I was a new driver and driving very slow on an unlit road, it meant i had to go even slower though because their headlights were blinding me and I couldn't see ahead. If I'd been more confident I'd have beeped my horn and put my hazards on.
I think people dont realise how far is actually between them and the car ahead/behind them. Those stupid "if you can read this you're too close" stickers, if you cant read that from a safe driving distance you need your bloody eyes testing!

thelegohooverer · 27/10/2020 16:38

In these situations, if I can’t pull over, I will extend the distance between me and the car in front to account for the extra braking distance needed if I have to brake for both of us, necessarily slowing down.
But I hear ya OP. I’m not sure I’ll be safe to let out on the roads when I’m no longer ferrying dc, and can express years of pent up road rage without my little hostages to fortune in the back seat.

Bringmewineandcake · 27/10/2020 16:39

Please don't slam your brakes on for no reason. Believe it or not, you can be held equally or more at fault as the driver to the rear if you brake suddenly and without a good reason and a collision occurs.

BigBigPumpkin · 27/10/2020 16:39

I follow the highway code by slowing right down and thus encouraging them to overtake (has the happy side effect of really pissing them off too!)

sunflowershine · 27/10/2020 16:44

I don't tailgate because obviously it's a dangerous twat move, but from the other side, I was behind someone today on a 50mph straight road in fine weather condition. Newish car, couldn't get close enough to see who was driving (because I wasn't too close!) but they were pootling along at 20/22mph. For about five miles. Couldn't overtake because it was busy. I can see how someone would lose patience and get a bit too close to them.

That's as bloody dangerous as tailgating! It did give me a bit of the rage. Driving at an appropriate speed for the road and conditions is what you're supposed to do. That road it was perfectly fine to be driving near the limit.

Calligraphy572 · 27/10/2020 16:44

I do get very frustrated with drivers going 30 in a 60 and stuff. Then pull over and calm down, have a word with yourself, then cary on. It is irritating, but obviously tailgating is not the way to get the message across to the driver in front.

Bargebill19 · 27/10/2020 16:54

And maybe they are driving at 30 in a 60 zone because they can’t see as your headlights are filling their car with light plus the road in front of them, essentially making them night blind.... so please leave a 2 second gap between yourself and the car in front.

Or maybe they are driving slowly because they’ve seen something ahead that in your impatience you haven’t - horses on the road or a pedestrian or a huge pothole they need to navigate carefully.

Lilybet1980 · 27/10/2020 17:00

You can actually fail your test for driving too slow, happened to a friend of mine. Driving too slow can also be dangerous.

notonmytime · 27/10/2020 17:00

I like the phrase 'it's a limit, not a target' but apparently that makes one a prime target for tailgaters with an overly inflated sense of entitlement on the road.

krj2608 · 27/10/2020 17:01

I just slow right down 🤣 it annoys them

Pegase · 27/10/2020 17:06

If people do it to me I normally tap the brake so my brake lights flash on a couple of times. They usually decide they don't want to crash into me and back off.

Themusicis0utside · 27/10/2020 17:06

Just pull over and let them pass - Don't give them the satisfaction. Leave a wide berth when you pull away. Tailgaters will distract you from your own driving, especially if their lights are blazing.

ChristmasIsMyJam · 27/10/2020 17:09

I’ve considered dash cams but decided it was a waste of money. The police won’t do anything - my friend had dash cam evidence of a car driving aggressively, tailgating, swerving all over the road and cars having to take evasive action to avoid crashing. Police couldn’t have given less of a shit.

Pizzaalover · 27/10/2020 17:22

Totally agree it’s so intimidating and it’s distracting too. I would love to teach them a lesson 😂😂