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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder WHY parents can't afford to feed their kids isn't being addressed?

362 replies

BearPomBear · 25/10/2020 19:42

Just that really....

OP posts:
MaskingForIt · 25/10/2020 19:47

I imagine the reasons are too varied for there to be a simple solution. Some will just be feckless, others will have lost jobs, others will not have the ability to get it together to provide, others trapped in a cycle of benefits.

What do you think should be done?

acerred · 25/10/2020 19:51

@MaskingForIt

I imagine the reasons are too varied for there to be a simple solution. Some will just be feckless, others will have lost jobs, others will not have the ability to get it together to provide, others trapped in a cycle of benefits.

What do you think should be done?

Others paid peanuts by employers taking the piss
CaptainMyCaptain · 25/10/2020 19:56

I imagine people being furloughed or losing their jobs has a lot to do with it recently. Before that zero hours contracts.

Twigaletta · 25/10/2020 19:56

Others trying to balance an ever rising cost of living with a static wage.

AldiAisleofCrap · 25/10/2020 19:57

Getting rid of the benefit cap , the two child limit, the five week wait for UC and the “getting paid twice in one month” issue in UC would help instantly.

ThornAmongstRoses · 25/10/2020 19:59

Or in my sisters case - because she was being severely financially abused by their father.

Thankfully things eventually righted themselves when SS was involved after his teachers caught him taking food out of other children’s lunch boxes.

InTheFamilyTree · 25/10/2020 20:00

Largely the fact that since the last financial crash the UK has had the poorest wage growth in Europe (outside of Greece). Coupled with government policies that support home ownership at the expense of affordable housing, and you have a reciepe for food poverty.

chickenyhead · 25/10/2020 20:02

Some will be in private rentals where housing benefit is significantly insufficient to pay the rental charges. So the money needed for living expenses instead has to be used to pay that shortfall first and keep a roof over their heads.

Only after that expense do bills, food and everything else need to be budgeted out of what remains.

Whereas, exactly the same family in a property with rent covered by the LHA rate housing benefit, will be able to use the entire sum to meet their living expenses.

Every year my private rent increases, LHA rates take time to catch up. There is usually a £3/400 shortfall of housing benefit where I live. That is a lot of money taken from the other benefits actually needed to live.

myohmywhatawonderfulday · 25/10/2020 20:03

So far my experience it is not that there is no income that means children are neglected - but the addiction issues that mean they don't take care of themselves or their children It is why schools being open are so important as they keep these families connected to a place where there is safety, rules and food.

Again my experience is limited to working with vulnerable children in to a few schools in my locality and so this is anecdotal.

TheFormerPorpentinaScamander · 25/10/2020 20:03

Because addressing it would mean the Government admitting there's a problem. And as they are the problem they aren't going to do that.

WizWoz · 25/10/2020 20:05

Perhaps it’s more a question of why people insist on having children they know they can’t afford to feed? I have sympathy for those who’ve lost jobs or ended up in unexpectedly difficult circumstances, but others have purposely chosen to have children in the full knowledge they can’t afford them and the expectation that everyone else will pay to fund their life choices.

megletthesecond · 25/10/2020 20:05

Yes, what theformer said .

Cabinfever10 · 25/10/2020 20:10

The 11year freeze on benefits whilst everything keeps getting more expensive plus UC pays less than tax credits even for disability payments. So not great really

Littleideasbigbook · 25/10/2020 20:11

The inequality gap is very wide. Structural systems to try address social issues have been dismantled (SureStart, Adult Learning, Mental Health support and community support has diminished). The political pendulum has swung towards individualism and self accountability.

Katyppp · 25/10/2020 20:12

You are brave to ask the question, OP!

Porcupineinwaiting · 25/10/2020 20:13

Because it's complicated. If poverty was easy to eradicate it would have been done by now.

RunBackwards · 25/10/2020 20:16

Completely anecdotal if course but it seems to me (from my experience working in two high fsm schools) a very major cause of families being in fsm is absent fathers. I really don't understand why more isn't done to force father to support their children.

Of course we must feed their kinds if they won't but I agree the causes must be addressed too. The causes are many and complex but this one seems relatively straightforward to fix to me. Ok, not to fix completely but certainly to improve immeasurably.

RunBackwards · 25/10/2020 20:17

OMG so many typos but I expect you get the jist!

HowFastIsTooFast · 25/10/2020 20:22

@WizWoz I wrote a long post about that exact topic earlier but chickened out of posting it!

Sparked by a thread I'd read recently by someone actively TTC but with nowhere to live with a baby and no job!! (Perhaps I'm a little over sensitive, TTC myself in my late 30s as I've never felt that I could afford it before, and very worried that it's too late).

I have every sympathy for those who've found themselves in tough circumstances once children are already here, and those for whom an accidental pregnancy put them in that position, but very little time for those who choose to bring mouths they can't feed into the world.

pinkstripeycat · 25/10/2020 20:23

My sister only sees the families who have lost their jobs or who have a job(s) but it doesn’t cover rent/mortgage and bills. My DH (because of his job) sees those who don’t actually care about their children and spend all their money on cigarettes/booze/drugs/themselves and even if they were given help to feed their children they wouldn’t bother. So all of the above that all posters have put are all right aren’t they. The eateries who are offering free food will also be taken advantage of by those who can afford to feed their children but just want free food.

MonicaBelulaGellar · 25/10/2020 20:29

I will feed anyones kids under any circumstances. It's not those poor children's faults they have no food, regardless if it's the parents fault or not. I'm sick and tired of seeing negativity towards this topic, if you want to help GREAT!! if not then just move on. It makes me feel sick knowing there are hungry children out there. Not aiming this at you OP as I'm unsure of the intention of your thread, it just makes me so sad that people have issues with this.

WizWoz · 25/10/2020 20:31

The eateries who are offering free food will also be taken advantage of by those who can afford to feed their children but just want free food
This is unfortunately true. And the really needy children still won’t get fed because the parents don’t even care enough to take them for free food.

CaptainMyCaptain · 25/10/2020 20:33

Being children of drug addicts and wasters means they are extra vulnerable and in need of help not that they are unworthy. Giving them actual food means that they are certain to benefit from it.

maxbabi · 25/10/2020 20:33

@MonicaBelulaGellar

I will feed anyones kids under any circumstances. It's not those poor children's faults they have no food, regardless if it's the parents fault or not. I'm sick and tired of seeing negativity towards this topic, if you want to help GREAT!! if not then just move on. It makes me feel sick knowing there are hungry children out there. Not aiming this at you OP as I'm unsure of the intention of your thread, it just makes me so sad that people have issues with this.
Completely agree. 72% of kids in poverty are from working families. Time for better pay
Grapefruitcauliflower · 25/10/2020 20:33

Low pay
Precarious working conditions
Exploitative bosses/companies
Structural inequalities
Housing shortages
Inadequate benefits system
Decimated funding to public services
Covid-related job losses

Basically all the problems the Tories couldn’t care less about solving (because they largely caused them)

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