Head not allowing my DD school packed lunch

[peacockfeather11]

This is the first time I taking this up directly with the HT. DD says the food awful and bland, this was brought up last year with the HT by a group of parents and as usual the response was 'we will try a new menu'. It did work for a few weeks and then the standard dropped once again, by then the parents had given up.
Now again this year and same issue, I sent an email and was told they have a 'no packed lunch policy', I can't find this one their web site and no-one seems to think it exists and that a new menu will be introduced. DD is so hungry after school and being in Yr6 has more work but has lost her appetite since going back. She generally has a good appetite and will try anything but says the school food is making her sick.
I sent another mail before holidays and never got a response. I don't know what to do. Any suggestions?

@Myothercarisalsoshit

I knew we were middle class when my son returned from his third day at Nursery and said 'Mummy we had pizza today and it wasn't Pizza Express.' I of course told him to suck it up. Not every day can be a Chicken Cacciatore day.

😂

Would you speak to someone like that in real life?
You think "honestly" as an expression of disbelief is rude? How very fragile; I will leave it there.
In the interests of clarity, I am one of the poor sods in education who has to deal with ill-informed people like you who think waving these magic words around entitles them to whatever they please. And yes, I'm sure you're delighted I don't teach your child.

I hate it when schools interfere with things like packed lunches and snacks from home. Too much opportunity for busybodies to stick their beak in and do far more harm than good.

I'd keep after it, OP. It's a stupid policy.

Not every day can be a Chicken Cacciatore day

^^I think this should become a new mumsnet classic quote.

@GanderousGoose

It is 100% not a safeguarding issue. Can't believe there are people on this thread who think it is. I don't agree with having a no packed lunch policy but you choose to send your child to the school and the school has policies. If you don't like them, you can always choose to move your child elsewhere.

In other settings, safeguarding includes the general well-being of the child, including making sure they are fed. I can’t speak for schools, but it’s not a massive leap to use it.

@GanderousGoose

There are no "issues at play" because the bland food doesn't suit her palate, which is accustomed to more tasty dishes. It shows no understanding of special needs whatsoever to suggest there are issues at play because the bland food makes her feel sick.

She hadn’t said about the problem being too bland food when I replied.

pp mentioned what about armed forces? in my day the food was excellent with several choices. But if you were married and didn't eat in, or didn't want to eat in there were several opportunities to buy something else.

Forcing children to eat things they don't want/like is a dick move.

@GnomeOrMistAndIceGuy

Would you speak to someone like that in real life? You think "honestly" as an expression of disbelief is rude? How very fragile; I will leave it there. In the interests of clarity, I am one of the poor sods in education who has to deal with ill-informed people like you who think waving these magic words around entitles them to whatever they please. And yes, I'm sure you're delighted I don't teach your child.

Couldn’t agree more.

I’ve also had to deal with the entitled brigade.

I'm willing to bet this is about money and what the school gets from their provider. Not enough kids having school meals = not enough cash coming in.

I don’t think the no packed lunch policy is that uncommon these days - certainly not where we live anyway. It’s easier I suppose than having to police lunchboxes.

Food being a bit bland isn’t going to kill her. School aren’t going to provide olives and basil ffs.

If she went to someone’s house and decided the food was bland, would she refuse to eat that as well?

She might prefer eating something else but if the food provided is well balanced but a bit bland, I’d be telling her to either eat it or don’t, but I certainly wouldn’t expect my child to be treated differently and change the rules to suit just because she was being a bit dramatic 🤷‍♀️

I can’t believe the amount of people on here saying that another human being should just suck it up and eat something that isn’t enjoyable or that they don’t like!

I’d love to see how the PP’s advocating for this would react if their meals were at the whim of someone else? Pretty sure if someone told me I had to eat something I didn’t like I’d be telling them to fuck off. Just because it’s about a child doesn’t mean their needs or wants should be ignored because “adults know best” and life isn’t fair so you should eat the crap food put down in front of you.

I was a fussy child, I have allergies and some of my aversions to certain foods continue to this day. Someone forcing me to eat broccoli or cauliflower when I absolutely despise them both would have just made me not eat. I can see how things like this can possibly result in serious issues in later life.

Forcing children to eat what they don’t like is tantamount to abuse in my opinion. If your husband/wife was forcing you to eat only what they decided and you had no autonomy over it, it would definitely be classed as abuse. Astonishing that people have this attitude.

OP I would continue to send her with her packed lunch and if they say anything about it, I would be telling them you’ll take it as far as you can, governor’s, local councillors, MP’s etc. No one would be telling me that I couldn’t feed my child the food they preferred.

@InFiveMins

I voted YABU because sounds as though she is being overly fussy - surely they have lots of different options?

School dinners are rarely restaurant quality, but aren't exactly prison slop, so I think she is overreacting and will get over it.

Not all schools offer multiple options. DD's infants did, juniors doesnt. Friend's infants didn't either

@Househunter2021 I couldn’t agree more.

And all the people saying “Food being a bit bland isn’t going to kill her.“.... the food is literally making her feel sick. Issues with food like that can quite easily escalate into eating disorders, which certainly can kill people.

If she went to someone’s house and decided the food was bland, would she refuse to eat that as well?

I did this as a child. I very rarely ate at friends houses because their parents served things that I didn’t like or didn’t eat at home. I distinctly remember one occasion where I went to my friends house and her mum served Turkey dinosaurs, chips, beans and supernoodles 😑 that concoction to me was disgusting. I’m not the biggest fan of beans, I don’t even like beans on toast. And supernoodles are still something I avoid to this day. Turkey dinosaurs also weren’t something my mum fed me. I ate the chips that weren’t touching anything and then went home and had my mum make me something I actually liked.

“ GnomeOrMistAndIceGuy
Would you speak to someone like that in real life?
You think "honestly" as an expression of disbelief is rude? How very fragile; I will leave it there.
In the interests of clarity, I am one of the poor sods in education who has to deal with ill-informed people like you who think waving these magic words around entitles them to whatever they please. And yes, I'm sure you're delighted I don't teach your child.
Couldn’t agree more.

I’ve also had to deal with the entitled brigade.”

Are you remembering that this was as a mechanism to get a child to bring in their own packed lunch ? It’s not really any of the school’s business what the reason is.

I threw out an idea, because it’s already been raised with the HT, and an email has been ignored. I acknowledged that it wasn’t my area of expertise.

I don’t think it’s having an undue sense of entitlement, if you think about the aim.

Really, let’s please calm down a bit.

I used to think school dinners were bland, so I used to cover them in salt to make them taste of something.

@pointythings

I'm willing to bet this is about money and what the school gets from their provider. Not enough kids having school meals = not enough cash coming in.

Yes this is why ours did it. Even with Dr's letters about food allergies and known sensory issues did not help, it just narrowed the already narrow options. The food wasn't even particularly healthy- chips, pizza, burgers, curry. She hated junk food. The only long term solution was going to yr7. We did go through the menu and for the really bad days I would pick her up and we would sit on the bench outside and she would eat her favourite foods which were generally really healthy in a packed lunch then she would go back in. She wasn't charged on those days.

I did get really stroppy with them and told them that under no circumstances were they to comment on her eating or try to persuade her to eat anything. Think I found some academic papers about control, clearing the plate and obesity/ eating disorders. Big breakfasts, morning snack and something to eat as soon as she got out too. At least at secondary it saves me a bomb as she always makes herself a packed lunch.

Oh and I wouldn't let a younger child with allergies eat there but when the bought the policy in she was already very informed and articulate and would interrogate and ask to see the food labels of anything she thought she couldn't eat. They loved it when she left

school lunches can be very bland. They are also not particularly filling. Can the school offer a cold lunch of sandwiches, fruit and a dessert? You could then supplement with more fruit and other bits and pieces?

School dinners have to be very healthy these days. If she's used it eating food with more salt / sugar / fat then it's not surprising she finds it bland.

I wouldn't encourage this fussiness though. She should appreciate that she's being given a free hot meal; plenty of children in this world are going hungry.

@Avery7

School dinners have to be very healthy these days. If she's used it eating food with more salt / sugar / fat then it's not surprising she finds it bland.

I wouldn't encourage this fussiness though. She should appreciate that she's being given a free hot meal; plenty of children in this world are going hungry.

Food low in salt/sugar/fat is only bland due to poor cooking.

How are meals that are paid for by her parents in anyway free?

I would make sure Dd has a substantial breakfast and then a decent snack after school that will reduce her hunger especially if she can take a snack in for break. The school policy etc is a different matter but if sort DD out first.

@SimonJT Sorry I missed the post where OP said she pays for it. In my area school lunches are free.

Fine for a school to ban packed lunches but then they shouldn't charge for the school lunch. It is not fine to force parents to pay for school lunches and it is definitely not fine to force a child to eat it if they don't like it/makes them feel sick. Every school in my country doesn't allow packed lunches but the school lunch is free and no one is forced to eat, the children serve themselves so they can take as little as they want if they think they won't like and fill up on bread and salad.

A state-funded school cannot have a "no packed lunches" policy. Education Act 1996 section 512(5) requires maintained schools to provide facilities for the consumption of packed lunches. Whilst this only applies directly to maintained schools, academies are required to follow the relevant law by their funding agreements. Banning packed lunches is clearly contrary to this.

The head should read the "School food in England" advice for governing bodies published by the DfE last year. About halfway down p5 it says, "Facilities to eat the food that they bring to school must be provided free of charge for pupils not taking school meals. As a minimum these facilities should include accommodation, furniture and supervision so that pupils can eat food they have brought from home in a safe and social environment."