Head not allowing my DD school packed lunch

[peacockfeather11]

This is the first time I taking this up directly with the HT. DD says the food awful and bland, this was brought up last year with the HT by a group of parents and as usual the response was 'we will try a new menu'. It did work for a few weeks and then the standard dropped once again, by then the parents had given up.
Now again this year and same issue, I sent an email and was told they have a 'no packed lunch policy', I can't find this one their web site and no-one seems to think it exists and that a new menu will be introduced. DD is so hungry after school and being in Yr6 has more work but has lost her appetite since going back. She generally has a good appetite and will try anything but says the school food is making her sick.
I sent another mail before holidays and never got a response. I don't know what to do. Any suggestions?

I voted YABU because sounds as though she is being overly fussy - surely they have lots of different options?

School dinners are rarely restaurant quality, but aren't exactly prison slop, so I think she is overreacting and will get over it.

@Teateaandmoretea

Bolognese with broccoli is a bit odd.

It’s school dinners not a gourmet restaurant.

But why the broccoli? Bolognese is onion, tomato, celery, carrot, why on earth would you go and ruin it with broccoli?

I’ve been in plenty of schools and the meals are disgusting. I wouldn’t eat them and wouldn’t expect my kids to. I think a no packed lunch policy is really unreasonable

I find that a very strange policy! The only workplace I can think of that would be an adult equivalent would be the armed forces. I can’t think of anywhere else where as an adult you couldn’t bring food to eat. Why do we treat children so differently!

Out of interest, what would happen if you just keep sending her with a pack lunch (making it clear to the school beforehand)?

The legal site that was linked to earlier ...

childlawadvice.org.uk/information-pages/school-food-in-england/

I can’t see anywhere where it says schools can ban pack lunches, just that they can have a policy on what the pack lunches can contain

“ Are packed lunches required to comply with school food standards?
There is no government guidance on packed school lunches. The Department for Education allows individual schools in England to decide what their policy is on food brought in from home.

To promote the health and well-being of its pupils, some schools may take a strict approach to their policy.

If you are unaware of the school’s policy on this matter, you can request a copy of the school’s food policy from the school to clarify their position.”

Could you do her a decent cooked breakfast and then she might be fine to not have lunch?

Honestly, id probably tell her that she can eat it or not eat it, but if she doesnt eat it then to not complain about being hungry later, because food is there for her if she wants it.

It's simply not true that if they are hungry enough they will eat. Mine won't. Mine won't either.

I'd be seriously tempted to say she's gluten free+veggie+dairy free+whatever other convoluted combination you can think of, or that she is currently excluding certain food groups to establish allergies, so needs a packed lunch that is catered individually to her

This is a good idea, then they'd have to make allowances. You could try and get the doctor to write something maybe

🙄

But why the broccoli? Bolognese is onion, tomato, celery, carrot, why on earth would you go and ruin it with broccoli?

My kids prefer vegetables to salad. They would choose broccoli over salad. I frequently serve vegetables with lasagne and it’s much the same meal.

But whatever your preference it hardly makes it all inedible does it? Maybe it would be worth thinking about for a dinner party or bake off but this is school dinners 😂🤷🏻‍♀️

She says most days it is awful and bland, then the lunch police 'persuade' her try some more and then she feels sick

Problem is that for every parent complaining about their child being persuaded to eat something, there are three more complaining that we're not doing enough to get their child to eat. And that includes children who bring in their own lunch in from home.

Our school allows packed lunches but we still get parents complaining that their child is bringing too much of it home again. Schools can't win either way.

“Can you expand on "safeguarding issue", in the context of school dinners?” confused

@JuliaJohnston
safeguarding covers looking after the general welfare of a child, including being fed. What is your understanding?

when food is horrible it can make everything else that's going on really shit.
And if you are hungry how can you learn?

I feel for OPs daughter in this - i was a boarding school kid. School food 3 times a day 7 days a week. And a lot of the girls developed issues around food as a result of being made to eat things.

Packed lunches is the minimum I'd require as a solution from the school.

We offer 5 choices every day and all children's medical needs are catered for.

I’d like to see a school cater for a child with coeliac disease who is allergic to all meat and also has a dairy intolerance so is vegan though not by choice. Add onto that various allergies such as nuts, cauliflower, broccoli, about 10 other things.

The cross contamination Risk for coeliac disease is Serious so school would need different pots, pans, chopping boards, knives, butter, etc. Any misuse of the wrong equipment would result in Dd being in bed for days as well as non stop d&v, terrible stomach pain and an increase in the risk of cancer.

Even the hospital is unable to cater for her when she’s an inpatient....and I wouldn’t trust them if they said they could cater for her.

As a parent and as somebody who works in a school, there has to be a reason for the no packed lunch policy. If my school had a no packed lunch policy we would of informed parents and given the reason why. Please take this further than the head. Governors in fact. If one of our students were struggling with a hot dinner of course we would alter so she could have a packed lunch! I hope you get this sorted.

Just me that eats brocolli with bolognese then?!? I'm from the generation that grew up expecting school dinners to be shit but you ate up and shut up. I don't recall ever having a choice in meals at home or at primary school. That said, I've only heard of private schools not allowing packed lunches so that does seem weird and I would challenge why (without using the safeguarding argument).

In my last mail I said that DD will be bringing in packed lunch after half-term. So, do i do that and let them deal with it?

If I was you, yes. Clear it with DD first as it’s likely to cause a stooshie but if she’s ready to put up with being the centre of a “scene” then I’d do it.

If I were in your shoes I’d honestly do the same. I’m truly disbelieving that you’re the only parent in these shoes.

As an aside, what do they think you’re packing in there? Covid on toast? SARS yoghurt? Fuck me.

@GnomeOrMistAndIceGuy

*I’d possibly go down the route of trying to throw some action words in. So either ‘safeguarding issue’ Or ‘sensory issues and therefore discrimination against special needs’ etc* So, "lie?" Prick move.

@GnomeOrMistAndIceGuy How is that a “prick move”? (I was trying to be helpful and pointed out that it came from an unexpert angle. No need to be so rude.)

If a child is struggling to that extent then there are clearly some issues at play, so give them a proper name.

How is that a lie? How is mentioning safeguarding a lie?

What was your suggestion?

It IS a prick move because you're suggesting the OP use "safeguarding" as some magic buzz word to get her own way. When did not liking food become "sensory issues?" "Discrimination against Special Needs.." Honestly.

I knew we were middle class when my son returned from his third day at Nursery and said 'Mummy we had pizza today and it wasn't Pizza Express.' I of course told him to suck it up.
Not every day can be a Chicken Cacciatore day.

It is 100% not a safeguarding issue. Can't believe there are people on this thread who think it is. I don't agree with having a no packed lunch policy but you choose to send your child to the school and the school has policies. If you don't like them, you can always choose to move your child elsewhere.

@GnomeOrMistAndIceGuy

It IS a prick move because you're suggesting the OP use "safeguarding" as some magic buzz word to get her own way. When did not liking food become "sensory issues?" "Discrimination against Special Needs.." Honestly.

@GnomeOrMistAndIceGuy

You’re still being very rude. “Honestly”?

Would you speak to someone like that in real life?

Plus I agree about the SEN/sensory needs being a prick move. You can't just pretend to have a disability or additional need because you don't like the food. That's appalling and teaches your child that it is ok to pretend you have a condition that others have to actually live with to get out of doing something you don't like.

If she is in year 6 you are presumably having to pay for the meals? I can’t see how they can force you to buy their meals. What would they do if you stopped paying?

@GnomeOrMistAndIceGuy totally agree. Food being ‘bland’ is not a sensory issue. My kids moan constantly about school meals, they have lots of others meals, they’ll cope is my attitude. I’d feel differently if they were refusing to eat anything but that isn’t the situation here I don’t think.

@GreyishDays it’s mumsnet 🤷🏻‍♀️

There are no "issues at play" because the bland food doesn't suit her palate, which is accustomed to more tasty dishes. It shows no understanding of special needs whatsoever to suggest there are issues at play because the bland food makes her feel sick.