So I found out i was pregnant with DD, ex told me to "get rid of it" as we had plans to travel abroad, I have always been anti abortion (I have family members and friends that have had them and thats their decision and would hold no hate towards them but for me personally I would never have one) so I had told him I will not be having the abortion, he ended up going abroad and I stayed and continued the pregnancy alone which was absolutely fine. He then come back to the UK and i bumped into him in town and i tried to speak to him and he shrugged me off and said "it aint my brat" and continued this until after she was born,I had seen him again after she was born and he looked at her in the pram and denied that she was his child again by this point I was enraged. I phoned CSA and asked for a DNA to prove to him so they did, it took a while as he kept not turning up to his appointment to get the swab done, he finally did and of course the test come back that he is her father (what a surprise 
) anywhoo I had a message on Instagram to say he wanted to see her, I asked to meet halfway in town as I didnt drive and there was a storm and I didnt fancy 2 bus trips and alot of walking to get to his house with a small baby who had a few health problems as she was prem, he refused and said if I didnt come to his then not to bother at all so I did. He met her and didnt say much, he held her for a minute then handed her to me (she was 6 months old at this point). He then didnt want to see her again but would randomly decide to pop into her life call himself daddy, confuse her and leave for months or a year again. My daughter is now 4 years old, he has come back again wanting contact i said that I want him to attend mediation with me first, have a set time and a set day that he sticks to every week, and for it to be in a place she is familiar with and with a person present that she is familiar with until DD is comfortable around him as to her it would be like giving her over to a stranger, He has told me no, he works 6 days so cant accommodate to me (although he only has to pay £6 a week maintenance, not sure how that's worked out if that's the case lol but he's never even paid the £6 anyway!)he informed me that he will be taking his daughter to his mothers (who my DD also doesn't know) and will not have anyone fimiliar there as he doesn't need supervising and he didnt attend mediation. Am I being unreasonable asking for this? I dont want to take her right to have her father around away from her but I also don't want to enable him to treat her this way anymore when it will emotionally hurt her, she doesn't need this. In a perfect world he would be consistant and would have had this all sorted a long time ago. His reasons for coming back this time is because of Covid and his new girlfriend means he isn't going abroad, not because of wanting to know his daughter. And just little things when I explained my reasonings for not wanting him to take her off till they both know each other, i asked him did he know what she is allergic to? Of course he didn't. Another thing that has played on my mind is that he said to me "he won't pay me maintenance incase i spend it on myself" and also made some strange comment on how he doesnt get a say in what she wears, i just said he is welcome to buy her some clothes for her to pick out, she wears whats appropriate for weather but other than that i let her pick if she wants to wear her unicorns or whatever colour she would like that day, just found it very controlling the way he come out with it.. His mum thinks I'm being unreasonable, my mum thinks I'm doing the right thing but I guess I just need an outsiders perspective on this as I feel so guilty, I just want whats best for my daughter. Sorry for the rambling also lol, its been a long 4/5 years!