Sharing photos of my baby with family

[Squishy8]

Just bit if a rant really. I post pictures and videos maybe a couple of times a week of my baby to family. Is this too often and annoying?! I would want to see pictures if it was a family member's baby!

To be fair most of my family reply and seem happy to see them.

My father, however, always seems to have a negative comment. For example, I would share a video of DS turning pages in a book or playing with something and he would reply "he wasn't even paying attention" or something similar. It makes me feel bad-like he is annoyed to see it or like I am pretending my baby can do something he can't. Why must he be so negative..just say "aw!" If you can't think of anything nice to say.

Feel like I might aswell not even bother. Trying to involve him as a grandparent but maybe he isn't bothered. Maybe I am just being overly sensitive and he is joking. Who knows but it bloody annoys me and makes me feel shit

I would definitely see your fathers comments as a joke, I understand his humour too. I think you are bombarding him with photos which he wants to acknowledge and doesn’t know what else to say as you send so much. Scale it back.

I have a family group which I add photos into - people can choose to mute notifications and only look at when they're ready. There's no option to reply in the group so it's just a place for photos

Scale it back- some people find a lot of baby photos dull. Every so often is fine but not weekly.

I then asked her how would she feel if I sent her pics of her SIL several times a week...She got the point
She probably didn't so much get the point, but realised you've got quite a lot of anger/irritation if half the attitude from your many replies came through in your interactions with her.

You sending photos of her SIl is totally different to a parent sending a grandparent photos of their grandchild. One is an adult to adult relationship via marriage, the other is adult child relationship and they are related by blood.

Fair enough that you seem to be irritated by photos, but it's not the same comparison.

Babies are not very interesting, and I say that as someone who is 29 weeks pregnant with their first! Of course mine will seem interesting to me, but other babies in the family? As long as they are safe and well that's all I need to know. Of course some people do find babies interesting, so there's a very easy solution here....

Just send photos to the people who respond positively! Pare it down a bit; send those who seem less keen photos only if something significant happens (first steps maybe), and not too often, and to those who are more engaged, send them once a week or so. You can always include a jokey comment "plenty more photos where that came from, let me know if you want more!", and if people are eager they will ask.

Everything your baby does is cute and adorable and exciting to you.

Grandchild/family member or not, repeated pics and videos of babies are boring.

It’s a group, though - you’re not sending photos to him directly. He doesn’t need to look any more often than he wants to. If you were sending them to him personally, then I could see why he felt the need to respond, but in a group he shouldn’t feel like he needs to comment, unless you are asking him directly for a response, which it doesn’t sound like you are.

I got added to DP’s family WhatsApp, but I don’t check it daily, and rarely comment. Your dad needs to manage his own engagement. That’s the whole point of a group - it’s like a notice board that someone can look at when they want.

Less is more.

@paperandfireworks

I would find multiple times a week annoying. Monthly would be suffice.

See id get this if for a friends baby but do grandparents only want to hear about their grandchildren once a month?? Icons that so sad

When my kids have kids, the amount you send would be great. (My sons are not the types to take selfies so I suspect that I won't get many but hopefully their wives will include me in the group)
I wouldn't want to see pics so often if we were work colleagues or casual acquaintances but your group is family.

I've blocked friends for that. I do not need to see pics of your grandchild that I will never meet everyday.BLOCKED there's a huge difference between weekly photos of your own grandchild or even weekly photos of your friends kid and daily photos of someone else's grandchildren who are meaningless to you

In OP’s case it’s up to her dad to choose how much he looks at the pictures. My ILs post a lot of their daily stuff in DP’s family WhatsApp group - photos they’ve taken on a walk, or something they’ve baked etc - and I’m not obliged to be interested or keep up with it all. If I don’t have anything genuinely nice to say I don’t comment. I always have my phone on me during school time, in case of an emergency contact, but I won’t be on top of every notification. As long as OP isn’t demanding a prompt response from everyone in the group then she can just carry on, surely.

@TerribleLizard

In OP’s case it’s up to her dad to choose how much he looks at the pictures. My ILs post a lot of their daily stuff in DP’s family WhatsApp group - photos they’ve taken on a walk, or something they’ve baked etc - and I’m not obliged to be interested or keep up with it all. If I don’t have anything genuinely nice to say I don’t comment. I always have my phone on me during school time, in case of an emergency contact, but I won’t be on top of every notification. As long as OP isn’t demanding a prompt response from everyone in the group then she can just carry on, surely.

Quite. Except of course for MN belief that no one likes your baby except you and your partner. No one is interested in your children. If your parents declare they never want to hear mention of them, that's totally fine because no one bit you cares about them. I think some people's families must be quite lonely places

Thanks everyone. I agree maybe to friends that often it may be too much but the group is my close family. I would certainly want to see pictures of my nephew or niece. I think maybe some of you are right and my dad just doesn't know what to say! I can't see him meaning it in a nasty way. It just made me wonder if it was annoying but I think I am looking too much into it and can be a bit sensitive when it comes to the baby! I mentioned this to my mum and brother and they both have said keep going with the pictures. If my dad makes anymore comments I shall bring it up with him.

My family all use a special app (Tinybeans) for sharing baby photos.
That way people can look at it as and when they want to, however often or infrequently they want. No cluttering of mailboxes or chat groups.

I would certainly want to see pictures of my nephew or niece.

Not everyone does. As much as people love their relatives, repeated baby pictures are boring to a lot of people.

I mentioned this to my mum and brother and they both have said keep going with the pictures

Of course they did, because it would be rude for them to say it’s too much and they’re bored, because as you say, parents are oversensitive.

@LolaSmiles

I then asked her how would she feel if I sent her pics of her SIL several times a week...She got the point She probably didn't so much get the point, but realised you've got quite a lot of anger/irritation if half the attitude from your many replies came through in your interactions with her.

You sending photos of her SIl is totally different to a parent sending a grandparent photos of their grandchild. One is an adult to adult relationship via marriage, the other is adult child relationship and they are related by blood.

Fair enough that you seem to be irritated by photos, but it's not the same comparison.

No its not an adult relationship...Her SIL is only 5. Why wouldn't my son want pictures of his only sister several times a week?

A few times a week? Dear lord no. Way too much 😂
and let's be sexist here: your brothers wouldn really wanna see so many baby pics. And you dad makes it very obvious he doesnt appriciate them. Although he sounds a bit like a meany too.. (And id say your sil wouldn't really like that many pics either. Imagine her sending you photos of her baby 3/4 times a week. Every week.....)

Just send the photos to your mum. And the rest can ask for photos. Or you can send them 1. Once a month....

And just because YOU would wanna see all these photos of your nieces and nephews doesnt meant your family wants that too op... And it doesnt matter if they are family. They still may not want to see that in such a "in your face all the time "kinda way

I think the amount you send is fine for a family group.

Is your dad not very good at giving compliments? My DH can be like this. We were sent a lovely pic of dgc in new school uniform, DH replied 'Charlie needs to learn to pull his socks up' He doesn't mean it unkindly but tends to comment on the picture in from of him, rather than considering the emotions of it!

Maybe mention to your df that you fwel

@Squishy8

The only other people in the group are my mum, brothers and sister in Law. I know for sure my mum wants loads of pictures but I guess I never considered it to be annoying to everyone else

Maybe I need to scale it back.

No I haven't spoken to my dad about it. We actually aren't that close but he was making a massive effort throughout my pregnancy and just after the baby was born. Now it seems he has lost interest or yeah is trying to be funny but it really isn't and I don't get the joke!

Why should your mum and brother stop getting pics because your dad thinks is stroppy?

All the posters telling you it’s too much, do they realise he can just leave the group?!

Next time he makes a comment just tell him you wouldn’t be offended if he wants to leave the group or if he would prefer you to set up a separate group and not add him to it because of the pics.

No its not an adult relationship...Her SIL is only 5. Why wouldn't my son want pictures of his only sister several times a week?
Seems like a fairly big point to miss out of your original post given its unusual for a sister in law to be 5.

Grandparent relationships are still different from sibling relationships though, just like the relationships between aunties and uncles are different from grandparents.

And to be honest, I don't see any problem with regular updates within families anyway. It seems strange to me that immediate family members wouldn't want to remain in touch and share things about children without it being viewed as one big inconvenienced that had to be tolerated as little as possible.

Just make different groups. Seems a bit impersonal otherwise. Like saying, I'm not bothered to send these seperately but I'm sure you'll want to look at them".

It's a bit weird to combine because the frequency is different for each family member, plus the type of pics they'd be interested in. Eg, wearing an outfit dsis bought, pic goes to dsis. Dressed up a fire fighter and dgf used to be a fire fighter, goes to him. Doing an activity dgm recommended - etc.