Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sharing photos of my baby with family

73 replies

Squishy8 · 23/10/2020 14:04

Just bit if a rant really. I post pictures and videos maybe a couple of times a week of my baby to family. Is this too often and annoying?! I would want to see pictures if it was a family member's baby!

To be fair most of my family reply and seem happy to see them.

My father, however, always seems to have a negative comment. For example, I would share a video of DS turning pages in a book or playing with something and he would reply "he wasn't even paying attention" or something similar. It makes me feel bad-like he is annoyed to see it or like I am pretending my baby can do something he can't. Why must he be so negative..just say "aw!" If you can't think of anything nice to say.

Feel like I might aswell not even bother. Trying to involve him as a grandparent but maybe he isn't bothered. Maybe I am just being overly sensitive and he is joking. Who knows but it bloody annoys me and makes me feel shitAngry

OP posts:
DressesWithPockets · 23/10/2020 20:18

It's a personal thing. My MIL wanted pictures daily when my son was born. I found that overwhelming. It also depends on the closeness of the relationship between the recipient of the photo and the child, and how often they see the child IRL. For a grandparent who doesn't get to see much of the kids in person, a couple of photos a week when they are really small (and changing all the time) doesn't seem too much. For an uncle or aunt who sees them regularly in person I'd say once a month or so. I have a good friend I don't get to see very often - she sends me pictures of her kids once a month or so, and I like to see them. But as I say, ultimately it's a personal thing.

itsafig · 23/10/2020 20:26

Whoa at all the posters saying a few times a week to a GRANDPARENT is too much! Are these posters grandparents themselves and feel this way about photos of their own grandchildren? I must send pics daily to both sets of grandparents, and both have told me how much they appreciate it. It'd never occur to me that it's annoying. I think it's different if it's photos to a wider group, or friends. I know my husband's sibling doesn't care so I don't share with that wider group. I also don't really send photos to friends unless they ask after the children.

itsafig · 23/10/2020 20:28

Sorry OP I forgot to make my main point, which is that that's a weird thing for your dad to say, but I wonder if it's born out of awkwardness and not knowing what to say rather than anything malicious. My dad would be the same, and both he and my mum are constantly asking questions like 'what's that spot', 'are her eyes crossed', 'why's her hair flat', which really annoy me, but I know they don't mean any harm, love the grandchildren and love the photos.

Hugosmugo · 23/10/2020 20:39

Definitely wouldn't be too much in my WhatsApp group.
We message in the family WhatsApp group every day. No children yet but baby niece/ nephew due soon and we will all want photos several times a week. Hopefully daily in the beginning. I'm gutted to live away from them and not be able to see them weekly so photos is the next best thing.

Original poster
Squishy8 · 23/10/2020 20:42

Thanks for the replies. Ah I feel a bit better. Was beginning to think I was irritating the hell out of my family but seeing as everyone else seems to be excited to see them I'll carry on as I am and maybe ask my dad about the weird comments if they carry on.

OP posts:
ferntwist · 23/10/2020 20:53

A couple of times a week seems perfect to me!

tigger001 · 23/10/2020 21:05

I think maybe just send him a private message "just checking in to make sure I'm not overdoing it on the photos for you ?" Simple and done.

If he says yes, remove him from the group and send some separately once or twice a month.

If he says no, you know you are ok or bring up his negativity depending on how you feel.

I can't see how anyone would be annoyed by a few videos a week of their grandchild.

LolaSmiles · 23/10/2020 21:09

Once a month? My parents get several a week, like the OP, but that's direct to them and not in a group chat.

If the group chat is almost exclusively photos of OP's children then its time to pull back and sens them to those who really want them.

BabyLlamaZen · 23/10/2020 21:09

@PleasantVille

You need to ask them, there's no correct amount of pictures to send.
Yeah but I thought this. Family members never replied so I stopped and then I hear they're all hitching about how they don't know what's happening with him!

I'd leave it for a bit op or make a pointed comment next time he says something.

BabyLlamaZen · 23/10/2020 21:10

*hitching

And yeah down with the big group chats. They're never good.

buildingbridge · 23/10/2020 21:56

Weekly is too much. I have a friend who sends me pics of her kids daily. Honest to God, it's annoying.

ECPCR2 · 23/10/2020 22:52

I created a Google Photos album and shared the link with people I thought may want photos, or who ask for any, and update that.

At first it was a few photos daily and now my DS is almost 9 months it's more like a couple a week. It means anyone who wants to can go into the album when they fancy it and see what he's been up to, I get to take and share as many as I want, but no one gets spammed with unwanted photos of yoghurt all over his face! Has worked really well for us. And when other people have seen him and taken photos they've added to that too.

I still send some on WhatsApp to my parents or ILs giving them a sneak peak in advance occasionally, but was very aware that no one cares as much about the photos as me and DH do.

Leaannb · 23/10/2020 22:54

Multiple times a week is ridiculous

Leaannb · 23/10/2020 22:55

@buildingbridge

Weekly is too much. I have a friend who sends me pics of her kids daily. Honest to God, it's annoying.
I've blocked friends for that. I do not need to see pics of your grandchild that I will never meet everyday.BLOCKED
Leaannb · 23/10/2020 22:59

@itsafig

Whoa at all the posters saying a few times a week to a GRANDPARENT is too much! Are these posters grandparents themselves and feel this way about photos of their own grandchildren? I must send pics daily to both sets of grandparents, and both have told me how much they appreciate it. It'd never occur to me that it's annoying. I think it's different if it's photos to a wider group, or friends. I know my husband's sibling doesn't care so I don't share with that wider group. I also don't really send photos to friends unless they ask after the children.
I am a grandparent1 and getting educated by photos everyday or several times a week is annoying as fuck and then to expect a response and the right kind of response is ridiculous. I told my DIL that it was too much and at first she was offended. I then asked her how would she feel if I sent her pics of her SIL several times a week...She got the point
CCSA · 23/10/2020 23:06

Get the backthen app (was Lifecake) and post As many as you like.., we post 10s daily of our daughter and the family love it. Then those that don’t want to look or only check occasionally can do

Keha · 23/10/2020 23:11

I think a couple of times a week is fine, but I guess you should perhaps ask him. We have a family WhatsApp and post messages daily about stuff and that often includes baby pics, but also discussions of the news, jokes, random rubbish. I wouldn't be bothered about some of my friends kids, but I'm keen to see what my nieces, nephews are up to.

Torvean32 · 24/10/2020 02:51

My nephew is just over a month old. I probably wont get to meet him til next year. I take all the videos and pictures offered. I love them. They keep me going til I can meet him.

itsafig · 24/10/2020 03:00

Posters who say they're spammed by friends and that's annoying - the OP is talking about her dad, a grandfather. Huge difference between a grandfather and a friend. Nobody wants to see daily photos of a friend's baby unless an extremely close friend and you're both sharing baby photos.

MsChatterbox · 24/10/2020 03:27

I don't think it's too many. When I go a couple days without sending something my MIL thinks she's upset me lol. The genuinely want something most days. However there are other people in the group that probably don't. I offered to start a new group with people that just want pics but mil refused and ask they go to the main one! With my first child they did actually make negative comments with pictures too and often made me regret sending them. They don't do it with second. I think they just struggled at first to adapt to grandparent role isn't of parent role and felt they would have done some things differently. If your dad's comments really ruin moments for you then just send to people individually.

Ginfilledcats · 24/10/2020 03:42

Who are these people sending pictures monthly - wow?

Like many pps I send pictures almost daily (if dd is in a particularly cute outfit, done something funny or we're out somewhere) if I skip a few days it's me who gets harassed for photos.

We're in lockdown so. I one can physically meet really so if I sent photos monthly my parents wouldn't know what my child looked like (only a few months old)

Honestly op you're not weird here - your dad is, if he's being rude just set up a meeting chat and send regularly to those that are interested x

ChristmasStocckings · 24/10/2020 04:33

It’s a hard balance to find. I only send photos of our 2 month old to the close family group chat a couple times a week. I thought this was heaps but apparently it’s not enough!

Does your family see the baby often? Most of mine haven’t been able to meet ours due to Covid travel restrictions so that seems to fuel demand for photos and videos

LagunaBubbles · 24/10/2020 04:39

I find it really odd that people would get bored of seeing pictures a few times a week of their own Grandchild, friends fair enough but not your own Grandchild.

tearstainedbakes · 24/10/2020 05:48

I find it odd that people even take so many photos of their kids, let alone send them.

My friend takes photos of her daughter all the time, but also is the selfie queen, I thought this was unusual but maybe not.

No one else that I know does it.

I'd get annoyed with so many, like someone else said, there's only so many times you can say aww cute or put a love heart. I adore my grandkids but I don't need or want a photographic record of every moment of their lives, just like I don't need or want that record of my own kids lives.

seayork2020 · 24/10/2020 05:56

If you post pictures you will get comments, sure its easy to say 'if I send this they should or should not say x' so either accept you will get comments or don't post as often.

Sure if I had grandkids it would be lovely to get photos but yes generally what you are doing is too much for me especially if they are not acting the way you want them too