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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Masks and anxiety

51 replies

whywhywhydaliah · 23/10/2020 12:48

Let me start by saying I am not usually a rule breaker.

I have tried wearing a mask, in fact several different types. They make me anxious and I find it hard to breathe. I play with the mask, trying to get air constantly and it takes a while to sort my breathing when I take it off.

It's currently ruling my life because I'm avoiding shops. Even a few feet has this effect and it's not getting easier.

AIBU to wear a lanyard?

Please don't be rude, I will respect your opinions.

OP posts:
Chanjer · 23/10/2020 12:52

If you genuinely can't do it you genuinely can't do it

I do find it quite remarkable though that living in a country where people are frequently wearing scarfs and snoods etc in winter and never once in 40 odd years of life did I ever hear someone say they can't wear one cos xyz. You'd have thought with how prevalent apparent exemption is that you'd have at least encountered it once before

justanotherneighinparadise · 23/10/2020 12:54

Just wear a visor. Nobody cares if you do. People get animated about people that wear nothing.

MissBaskinIfYoureNasty · 23/10/2020 12:54

I have the same struggle. I am continuing to wear a mask though because I think its important. I just go to the shops as little as possible and avoid other situations where masks are necessary. Not ideal but I want to do my bit. Also, I would be just as anxious about having to argue my exemption with people so its best to just wear one.

Sirzy · 23/10/2020 12:57

Personally I am just avoiding places where I would need to wear a mask for more than the few minutes I can cope with. I am shopping online

SchrodingersImmigrant · 23/10/2020 12:57

Have you tried different types. God some are incredibly uncomfortable. I found large cotton ones the best. Plenty of space to breathe, not tight, much better than many others.

notanotheronepleasee · 23/10/2020 13:08

We all have to suffer a bit to stop some people from suffering a lot

BadlyDrawnSimpsonsCharacter · 23/10/2020 13:09

Wear a visor instead.

Hazelnutlatteplease · 23/10/2020 13:12

I'm sorry but i think YABVU
Wearing a mask does take some getting used to and self discipline. You are getting enough oxygen, wearing it will not kill you.

Although actually not going into places where you need them isn't the end of the world either. Most stuff can be delivered.

DrEllie · 23/10/2020 13:14

I wear a visor a lot as I can't find a mask which doesn't fog my glasses up

MootingMirror · 23/10/2020 13:18

I think you need to recognise that you can't ignore everything that causes you anxiety - that's not healthy and will likely result in more things becoming anxiety triggers. Try some CBT or other therapies and try to build a positive association with your mask. Wear it in the bath relaxing etc. Try putting it on in your living room. Or put it on for one minute and then take it off etc.

Calic0 · 23/10/2020 13:21

It’s not that I don’t sympathise but no, I honestly don’t think this is a medical exemption. This is a strong preference. I have exactly the same strong preference - I find wearing masks quite claustrophobic- but I think there has to be a line.

And yes, @Chanjer, you’re right - I wouldn’t think twice about wearing a scarf or a snood. This isn’t substantially different and I need to remember that. Thank you.

Mcmole · 23/10/2020 13:22

I thought I'd struggle breathing in masks as I can get a bit panicky about my breathing at the best of times but it's been ok after sitting with one on at home to get used to it. You could try that for a bit in your safe environment first? To be honest though I pretty much avoid all mask-wearing activities anyway because I just can't find anything that doesn't steam up my glasses, and am too short sighted to take them off.

plixy · 23/10/2020 13:38

@Chanjer I can't wear a scarf etc over my mouth, never have. I have severe asthma and find anything thick over my mouth makes it too difficult to breathe.

Having said that I do wear a mask! I find it hard to breathe, I hate it and I could use my asthma to say I'm exempt but I don't.

stickystick · 23/10/2020 13:47

Wear a lanyard and stay well away from everyone. If you are constantly fiddling with it then it isn’t doing you or anyone any good anyway.

mrsmrt1981 · 23/10/2020 14:01

Not at all. I left my job at a care home because they made wearing surgical masks mandatory. They make me anxious too. Even with a GP note they wouldn’t let me find a mask I was more comfortable with and a visor was of the question so I told them where to go. I can tolerate wearing a mask in a shop for an hour, but wearing it for a 9 hour shift is a different story. Just wear a visor if it makes you anxious.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 23/10/2020 14:06

For glasses issue, masks with metal strip around nose in combination with antifog spray work wonders.

ItMustBeBedtimeSurely · 23/10/2020 14:09

Have you tried wearing one of those plastic inserts which hold it away from your mouth and nose?

I would persist - it does improve with use. Try wearing them at home for increasing periods first to get used to it.

Washimal · 23/10/2020 14:17

Just because something makes you anxious that doesn't necessarily mean you "can't" do it. I have PTSD so if I avoided everything that makes me feel anxious I would never leave the house. But I have to work for a living and my children need to socialise (which means I have to socialise) so I've had to get used to doing things I feel anxious about and I'm glad or I'm sure the list of things I had to avoid would just get bigger and bigger. No health professional worth their salt will ever tell you to completely avoid all the things that make you feel anxious as avoidance just keeps the problem going. A much healthier way to deal with the problem would be to wear a mask around the house for small amounts of time (even 5 minutes) to build up your tolerance and then gradually increase it.

Yesyoudoknowme · 23/10/2020 14:23

I do wonder how all the 'I can't wear a bit of material over my face because of X Y Z' would have coped in the war with a gas mask? I suspect that if it was wear a gas mask or suffocate from a toxic gas they would suddenly have found it OK. Hmm

GirlCrush · 23/10/2020 14:28

i suffer the same as you op....its horrible....i also find my glasses steam up,i cant see so bump into things as well as other people

i wear it though, and will continue to i guess, well,untill i have a serious accident and end up housebound

GirlCrush · 23/10/2020 14:29

the other issue with glasses is they slip off when you look down, they use the mask strings/straps as a track to slide down!

Ohtherewearethen · 23/10/2020 14:30

YABVU. I can't name one person that actively enjoys wearing a mask. We just have to get on with it because we are responsible members of society trying not to spread a potentially deadly virus around. Just because you don't like doing that is really not a good enough excuse not to. As a PP says, if it were to prevent you inhaling something noxious, I bet you'd manage to wear a mask.

Sirzy · 23/10/2020 14:31

I have got some masks from next and some even better ones from a company called Lucy locket loves and both of them are fine with glasses - and by far the comfiest ones I have found for when I have to go somewhere I need one

GrolliffetheDragon · 23/10/2020 14:39

I do wonder how all the 'I can't wear a bit of material over my face because of X Y Z' would have coped in the war with a gas mask? I suspect that if it was wear a gas mask or suffocate from a toxic gas they would suddenly have found it OK.

Interesting article-
"A study at the beginning of the war suggested that 75 per cent of people in London were obeying government instructions regarding gas masks. By the beginning of 1940 almost no one bothered to carry their gasmask with them." (from spartacus-educational.com/spartacus-blogURL124.htm)

Apparently some had the stuff that was supposed to filter out the gas left out, which, considering it was asbestos and people were encouraged to wear them for 15 minutes a day to get used to them, may not have been a completely bad thing (many who worked in the gas mask factories died from asbestos related illness).

A further Google shows that gas mask phobia was a thing amongst some soldiers who in some cases would take them off while under attack due to the panic caused. Civilians, as noted above, just gave up on carrying them around.

In short - civilians didn't need them and largely didn't carry them around. Some soldiers did take them off and suffocate in toxic gas due to the panic caused by wearing them.

CovidStoleTheRainbow · 23/10/2020 14:43

I feel as though anyone saying YABU have never experienced a panic attack, and how it works.

YANBU, about 20 years ago I suffered horrific anxiety. I felt like a couldn't breath normally, let alone with something covering my face.
I never would have coped with the whole mask thing. You very much have my sympathies.

I would wear a visa.
It's practically pointless, but at least people know you are trying.

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