Masks and anxiety

[whywhywhydaliah]

Let me start by saying I am not usually a rule breaker.

I have tried wearing a mask, in fact several different types. They make me anxious and I find it hard to breathe. I play with the mask, trying to get air constantly and it takes a while to sort my breathing when I take it off.

It's currently ruling my life because I'm avoiding shops. Even a few feet has this effect and it's not getting easier.

AIBU to wear a lanyard?

Please don't be rude, I will respect your opinions.

Or a visor, rather.
I can't even blame my autocorrect for that.

@Ohtherewearethen

YABVU. I can't name one person that actively enjoys wearing a mask. We just have to get on with it because we are responsible members of society trying not to spread a potentially deadly virus around. Just because you don't like doing that is really not a good enough excuse not to. As a PP says, if it were to prevent you inhaling something noxious, I bet you'd manage to wear a mask.

You talk as though the OP was expecting to enjoy it. Could you point out to me where she said she was worried she was breathing in something 'noxious'? Do you understand anxiety/and panic and it's common triggers?

I can send you some useful links if it would help?

It's very common. There's plenty of info out there that would help you.

I think a lot of people confuse feeling anxious and having anxiety. The former is 'normal' and although not always pleasant, most people experience it and it doesn't have an overly adverse affect on their life. The latter can have a huge affect on someone, and certain trigger activities are unmanageable; it's not just a case of feeling anxious about it, it's having the feeling dominate you and make you physically unable to cope. You can't suck it up, although some can have therapy to help manage it, I would be very surprised if anyone could do so for mask wearing during covid. OP, if you genuinely cannot manage it but need to go to the shops etc then please do. Honestly, as long as you know you are being honest and you are actually unable then although you might have to deal with some judgemental arseholes unfortunately, you know the deal.

You are exempt. People are not supposed to question if/ why others are exempt. You not wearing one is enough, there’s no rule that you need a lanyard or to explain.

i work in retail and have recently had 2 incidents of customers with panic attacks. as a first aider i helped, of course. both brought on by masks

but...neither was on an essential shopping trip. they were both buying gardening items.

if you are exempt then please keep your distance and don't expect much in the way of 'help' in store....we are not obliged to actually give first aid during covid if we dont feel comfortable, and help in store is limited. if no mask then by all means get what shopping you need, but dont browse, just get in and out

there is not much respect for store staff who have no choice but to be there

but...neither was on an essential shopping trip. they were both buying gardening items.

Well that depends, technically essential items to sustain human life could be amounted to rice and tap water (medications aside), is that where we are drawing the line? Or more reasonably, do some people who are facing spending a lot of time at home want to make their garden nicer? If they had panic attacks perhaps they have other MH conditions that are helped by gardening, or perhaps it's helping keep people in jobs, or are just people who are fortunate enough to not have a physical aversion to wearing a mask allowed to go shopping?

And also you say about first aid, surely then in the cases where wearing a mask is likely to trigger a panic attack etc which will require help, it makes sense they don't wear a mask? . Remember at the height of the pandemic when no one had to wear masks, shops didn't supply their staff with them? I agree everyone who wears one should, but honestly your comment is pretty nasty.

@Chanjer I have difficulty wearing a scarf or snood in winter. I often feel like I'm choking due to how it touches my neck and the fact my nose is often blocked. I can wear a mask at the moment though. If I find I can't in winter I won't be going into shops or anywhere were I come near people as it isn't fair on them.

OP you need to practice at home. First just sitting in one for a few minutes, then moving around at walking pace.

There are a number of 'guards' that keep the masks off your mouth and nose for sale on ebay and amazon.

Google for mask guard, nose guard, face guard until you see something that may suit you.

@Fajitanita nasty? how so?

it was up to them to wear a mask or not? not me....and what are you talking about? our store definitely did supply masks right at the beginning,every store on our retail park had some staff members choosing to wear the masks.....i know this because WE supplied them, free of charge ,until they managed to source their own supply.

@justanotherneighinparadise

Just wear a visor. Nobody cares if you do. People get animated about people that wear nothing.

Visors are no longer considered face coverings.

Honestly op, it gets easier. I struggled when I first had to wear them at work but the more I wore them, the more I got used to them.

I think telling yourself you're going to be anxious about them just makes you more anxious. I find if I put it on and just get on with stuff I forgot about it quite quickly.

and gardening comes under leisure.....a few items could be deemed essential....but every time someone comes in to buy themselves a few pansies to cheer themselves up, they put us at risk. more so with no mask

if we hear of a customer who is positive for covid, we then have to isolate on ssp....time and again

i've witnessed some awful behaviour since march....youngsters on the tills verbally abused,had items thrown over to them with force.....i was pushed over in the beginning when shop was full and we had queuing system as someone did not want to wait his turn

@blanktimes i will look into those! they sound good

no visors have been deemed unsuitable. our company leased with government to find out for us

It would be great if you can continue to try. I’m a doctor and honestly found them really difficult to get used to/suffocating, but these days I don’t think twice when I’ve got it on - you just adjust. PP advice to try in a relaxed situation at home might be worth doing as I think in the long run it will be less anxiety inducing if you are not attracting states/questions from people who don’t understand why you won’t wear one. Good luck.

@CovidStoleTheRainbow

Ohtherewearethen

YABVU. I can't name one person that actively enjoys wearing a mask. We just have to get on with it because we are responsible members of society trying not to spread a potentially deadly virus around. Just because you don't like doing that is really not a good enough excuse not to. As a PP says, if it were to prevent you inhaling something noxious, I bet you'd manage to wear a mask.

You talk as though the OP was expecting to enjoy it.
Could you point out to me where she said she was worried she was breathing in something 'noxious'?
Do you understand anxiety/and panic and it's common triggers?

I can send you some useful links if it would help?

It's very common. There's plenty of info out there that would help you.

How patronising.
I wasn't 'talking as though the OP was expecting to enjoy it' at all. Could you point out to me where I said that the OP was worried she was breathing in something 'noxious'? I said that if a mask would prevent her from inhaling something noxious I have no doubt she'd wear one. I'm a bit puzzled as to how you came to that conclusion. Maybe comprehension isn't your strong point. That's ok though, I can send you some useful links if that would help? It's very common. There's plenty of info out there that would help you.

I suffer from severe claustrophobia and can’t cope with anything near my face, neck or head
I once had to change jobs due to uniform - button up shirt and cravat
I can’t wear a hat or even a hood
Have to avoid polo necks - even higher crew necks make me feel like I’m being strangled
I wear a face mask as loosely as possible but can only manage for brief periods - run into shop grab a few things and leave
Just to make life harder I am also quite deaf and can’t hear what others say if they are wearing a mask as I can’t use lip reading to back up my poor hearing
How hard is it to understand that some people can’t wear a mask
I hate going out as am always worried about being challenged - I always use the same local cafe as they know me and don’t expect me to wear a mask if there’s a queue

I wear one of those kn95 ones when I can. They are easier to breathe in, not close to my face (but fit better). You can convince yourself you're anxious or you can convince yourself you're not. No one likes them but it's easier all round if you just push on through - you forget about them once you've resigned yourself to wearing them, but I think a lot of people want to find a reason not to.

I'd normally say wear a lanyard but it appears that people are now taking the piss out of it and so other people are not considering them legitimate.

You could also have hypnosis for this. Via zoom of course!

As for shopping - well I've not been near a shop that isnt a supermarket or pharmacy since April. It's well tedious but there you have it. At least we are saving money 🙄

@JaceLancs - I know, it's almost like people were living with conditions that limited their lives before mask wearing became necessary isn't? I'm fortunate not to have issues hearing, but I do have claustrophobia and it's awful, I recognise some of the issues you describe with clothing, so I do sympathise.

Got to love the stock responses of 'wear a visor', 'get therapy', 'desensitise yourself to it'. I get they're probably well meaning but some people really do take years to progress and cope with mental issues like anixiety and claustrophobia. Even getting the courage to visit a GP in the first place may take years. I've owned a car and had my driver's license for 4 years and still aren't comfortable driving it alone. I'm determined not to give up, but desentisiting is taking quite a bit longer than the average person would and I want to feel like I'm a safe driver. Similar scenario with the mask. I can wear it for around half an hour before I start to see flashing lights and end up with a migraine that puts me out of action for the next 12 hours. I've always suffered with anxiety/panic since childhood. I wouldn't really disclose my issues to people who aren't close to me in day to day life, because why would I? I'm sure others have similar experiences.

YABU OP my autistic son doesn't necessarily like wearing one but he does because theres a pandemic

@Yesyoudoknowme

I do wonder how all the 'I can't wear a bit of material over my face because of X Y Z' would have coped in the war with a gas mask? I suspect that if it was wear a gas mask or suffocate from a toxic gas they would suddenly have found it OK.

Bit of a difference between a piece of cloth and a big heavy rubber thing. And between chlorine gas and a virus.

I suspect that if it was wear a gas mask or suffocate from a toxic gas they would suddenly have found it OK

Well yes because they'd be fucking choking from the gas, and adrenaline would likely take over. Not quite the same when you're popping to Tesco to buy bread, I hate all of these ridiculous comparisons to try and justify bullying those who cannot wear a mask.

OP, I also suffer from anxiety and felt the same way. However, I am an expat in a country with a rather no-nonsense approach to rules and a different kind out culture to the UK (where people consider the well-being of the country as a whole to be more important than their own personal well-being, and where being responsible is something people really pride themselves on and being called 'irresponsible' or have people say that you are putting yourself before others is a huge insult. I am not saying that this is any better or worse than the UK, just very different!) and so I had no choice but to wear a mask along with everyone else. I will say that with non-conpliance not being a possibility, I forced myself to get on with it and as a result I am fine now, although did have a couple of panic attacks in the beginning. One thing I will say, though, is that the virus has now been gone from here for a long time and life has gone totally back to normal - the only difference remaining from the virus is that we still wear masks on public transport. I understand totally how you feel, but also feel that if everyone took mask wearing as seriously as they did here, then the virus would be over a lot more quickly instead of dragging on like it is in some places, and I imagine that (if you are anything like me!) then that would be the best thing possible to help with your anxiety.

If it causes you distress, then you are exempt Op.
Yanbu.

In answer to a couple of PPs.
I never wear scarves, snoods, hats, tight sleeves or high collars. I avoid wearing glasses (need them for work or driving but take them off at every break). I don't wear trainers except for sport - flip flops or boots and never socks inside.
I struggle with goggles and hats for swimming although I swim a few times a week. I avoided watersports all my life for fear of wearing a wetsuit, and won't ski for all the layers I'd have to wear. I alsonavoid diving and snorkelling although I love water.
I hate the feeling of being confined.
I understand that some professions require you to wear a mask and I would avoid those. Just as I avoid certain sports, climates and clothes.
I don't wear jewellery or watches as I hate the feeling the anything attached to me all day. I never wear headphones although I love music.
So I avoid shops or any other situation which requires me to wear a mask. So far I have only had to wear them for a few minutes at a time for medical appointments for the kids. All my medical appointments are postponed. I really don't think I could wear one for hours.