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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU: Negative Stereotyping

84 replies

MiddletonMama · 23/10/2020 12:14

My 10 year old son's teacher calls him the Class Clown in a derogatory way. I'm fuming about this. I accept that my son may be misbehaving in class and disruptive but surely teachers are better equipped to deal with this than resorting to name calling and labelling with a negative stereotype. My son moves up to high school next year and I am worried he will carry this label with him and always be the class clown and never have aspirations to be anything else. AIBU?

OP posts:
LST · 23/10/2020 13:44

I think that you're fibbing a bit now op

unmarkedbythat · 23/10/2020 13:46

That's unprofessional of her. What has she said when formally raising her concerns about his behaviour with you? What strategies other than mocking him publicly have been put in place? What have they asked you to do?

he actually suffers badly from social anxiety and has nervous tics

And yet the hard arses in this thread are falling over themselves to say how awful you and he are. Such lovely people on MN Hmm.

ZaraW · 23/10/2020 13:47

I don't believe for a second the School Office Manager advised physical violence. You're making this up.

dontdisturbmenow · 23/10/2020 13:49

Many school clowns have done incredibly well for themselves. I don't perceive it a negative stereotype. He must have a sense of humour and an abity to entertain. It's more a skill.

I would look at getting him into drama.

ZaraW · 23/10/2020 13:49

@unmarkedbythat

That's unprofessional of her. What has she said when formally raising her concerns about his behaviour with you? What strategies other than mocking him publicly have been put in place? What have they asked you to do?

he actually suffers badly from social anxiety and has nervous tics

And yet the hard arses in this thread are falling over themselves to say how awful you and he are. Such lovely people on MN Hmm.

I must be a bit thick I always assumed it was the parents role to sort out misbehaviour at school.
pastandpresent · 23/10/2020 13:51

" I presume he plays up to get laughs and receive positive feedback from his peers. "

So he actually do it on purpose to play up to get that reputation, and think it is positive? Then I really don't think being called a class crown is that damaging. He is enjoying being a class crown with his own will.

Original poster
MiddletonMama · 23/10/2020 13:57

I'm not delusional! Why would I make this up? The Office Manager did say that although I admit that she is a friend of mine so perhaps she sympathises with my view. I have reported it to the Head who has forwarded it to the Welfare and Inclusion Officer so we will see if he also agrees with the majority of people on this post. If he does, then I will have done what I can. Teachers have a responsibility to do more than teach - they have a responsibility to safeguard children from harm - both physical and mental. Anyway, we should end this here as it's obvious that most don't agree with me.

OP posts:
cameocat · 23/10/2020 13:58

What the school business manager said is horrendous, I'd be equally as worried about that if not more so.

cameocat · 23/10/2020 13:59

You're friend is incredibly unprofessional and should not be working in a school environment.

cameocat · 23/10/2020 13:59

*Sorry your

FelicityPike · 23/10/2020 14:02

If it helps to put it into context, when I told the School Office Manager about this, her reply was that I should punch her in the face!

Don’t talk pish!

VinylDetective · 23/10/2020 14:04

@FelicityPike

If it helps to put it into context, when I told the School Office Manager about this, her reply was that I should punch her in the face!

Don’t talk pish!

Very succinct - and on the nail.
SeasonFinale · 23/10/2020 14:05

@MiddletonMama

I'm not delusional! Why would I make this up? The Office Manager did say that although I admit that she is a friend of mine so perhaps she sympathises with my view. I have reported it to the Head who has forwarded it to the Welfare and Inclusion Officer so we will see if he also agrees with the majority of people on this post. If he does, then I will have done what I can. Teachers have a responsibility to do more than teach - they have a responsibility to safeguard children from harm - both physical and mental. Anyway, we should end this here as it's obvious that most don't agree with me.
When you say you have reported it I assume you mean you assume you have reported the member of staff (your friend) who told you to punch a teacher in the face and not the teacher making an innocuous comment about a disruptive and unruly child.
Sirzy · 23/10/2020 14:06

So a member of staff is encouraging violence against staff but your putting in complaints about the teacher pulling up a child for clowning around Confused

TheSeedsOfADream · 23/10/2020 14:24

Your friend the office manager should lose her job for telling a parent to attack another member of staff.
At the very least she should be facing a gross misconduct. Caused by YOU telling her things she has no need to know, and no remit to deal with.

Cocomarine · 23/10/2020 14:26

You can’t separate a (totally unprofessional) mate saying something OTT to lend you emotional support, from a comment that would actually mean you were right?

Seriously? Hmm

When my friend got dumped, I told her I’d shit on her ex’s doorstep. That wasn’t actually evidence that he’s an idiot. It’s just supportive mouthing off.

I can’t believe you actually think you’re in the right because the “Office Manager” who turns out to be your mate anyway, said something ridiculous.

sst1234 · 23/10/2020 15:01

So you have a reported a teacher to the head and now that teacher is being reported to welfare and inclusion officer. What a batshit thing to do. Honestly, good luck to your son, with a parent like this, he’s going to need it.

PhilSwagielka · 23/10/2020 15:44

Yeah, punch a teacher in the face, that'll make things better, you absolute genius.

PhilSwagielka · 23/10/2020 15:45

@unmarkedbythat

That's unprofessional of her. What has she said when formally raising her concerns about his behaviour with you? What strategies other than mocking him publicly have been put in place? What have they asked you to do?

he actually suffers badly from social anxiety and has nervous tics

And yet the hard arses in this thread are falling over themselves to say how awful you and he are. Such lovely people on MN Hmm.

Then why the fuck didn't OP mention it in the original post instead of drip feeding?
Lucylaine · 23/10/2020 18:13

If it helps to put it into context, when I told the School Office Manager about this, her reply was that I should punch her in the face!

No this didn't happen. Don't lie.

Cocomarine · 23/10/2020 18:22

@Lucylaine

If it helps to put it into context, when I told the School Office Manager about this, her reply was that I should punch her in the face!

No this didn't happen. Don't lie.

I think it did happen @Lucylaine but OP decided to present it as words coming from someone in an official capacity - whereas the reality (as drip fed) was it was just her very unprofessional mate 🙄
Rotundandhappy · 23/10/2020 18:26

Who are those people ‘fuming’ from something minor a teacher does in the line of duty? First kale, now this.

OverTheRainbow88 · 23/10/2020 19:42

It’s a shame you didn’t speak to the teacher and explain your concerns about your Ds being called a class clown. I would have hoped if you had done that first, the teacher would have apologised, explained they didn’t mean any harm and that they won’t do it again.

Going to the Head seems extreme IMO and I was in agreement with you from the beginning that the teacher shouldn’t call him a class clown

Crazycrazylady · 23/10/2020 19:45

Honestly I despair of some people. You accept your child is disruptive and misbehaving in class and your focus is on the teacher calling him the class clown.
If I were you I'd have bigger concerns . In our school the 'class clowns' of primary school tend to become the delinquents of secondary schoolz

Blueberries0112 · 23/10/2020 20:11

I agree with you OP, rather teacher is frustrated or not.

There was a new article about this a couple years ago too: www.wdsu.com/article/teacher-in-trouble-after-mom-complained-about-son-s-class-clown-most-talkative-superlatives/21080212