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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To carry on as though I'm in a different tier because...

96 replies

GrootDeservedBetter · 23/10/2020 07:44

I (and I'm not exaggerating), live next door to the sign between a tier 1 and tier 2 area? And is anyone else in this situation where they literally live on the border?!

I've been visiting my mum who lives 5 minutes down the road on the 'tier 1 side' however, we (on the dark side of the sign!), have recently changed to tier 2 as it technically comes under another county.

The sign between the borders is literally no more than 2 metres from my front gate.

AIBU to still act as though I'm in tier 1 and see my mum? It seems stupid to me that because she lives on one side of a sign and I live on the other I can't see her now!

OP posts:
Original poster
GrootDeservedBetter · 23/10/2020 08:17

@AlternativePerspective

And let’s be honest here, these kinds of issues arise regularly.

You could for instance be two houses away from the catchment for the local school, or out of the postcode for a certain dr’s surgery or for certain nhs treatments.

The cut-off has to be somewhere.

Yes, school catchment is a little different than being 'allowed' to see my own mother though imo.
OP posts:
Acerred · 23/10/2020 08:18

[quote EatDessertFirst]@Acerred There are no bingo halls in her area? Its the only place she is allowed to see her friends and if she didn't go she would be totally isolated except for the three people she works with. I can't visit her, nor can my brother. Not everyone lives in massive towns with all amenities.

Its ridiculous because Southend (where bingo and her work is) is Tier 1 next to areas in Tier 2 (such as the tiny village where she lives).[/quote]
Like I said, somebody is going to be on the border and it's unfortunate. It's the same where we live, we are very rural and are the same tier as a town twenty miles away. Our local town is complicated because it's right on the border with Wales and some is in England and some is in Wales, people (myself included) live in one and work in the other. Sorry you can't see your mum.

SoupDragon · 23/10/2020 08:18

I guess the part I don't 'get' is what additional risk factor I pose considering everything I do is done in the tier 1 area and if I lived in a house a few metres away I'd be fine.

It's about numbers rather than risk. It's just cutting the amount of people who mix rather than cutting out "risky" activities.

decoraters · 23/10/2020 08:20

I guess the part I don't 'get' is what additional risk factor I pose

I think the thing you don't get is that it isn't all about you. I mean that in the nicest possible way although I appreciate their is no good way to write it. The boundary has to lie somewhere. Individual circumstances cannot be considered. It has to be a clear boundary otherwise how many other people who also live nearby will be thinking/doing that same? How far into a tier do we go before it becomes unacceptable to keep going to the other side? You? Your neighbour? Their neighbour? The far end of your street? It makes no sense, of course it doesn't but as things need to be done as a whole and not one by one then their has to be that line you don't cross.

SoupDragon · 23/10/2020 08:20

I thought I read somewhere that if you are in a Tier 2 area, those restrictions go with you even if you go into a tier 1 area.

decoraters · 23/10/2020 08:21

THERE is no good way to write it Blush

Original poster
GrootDeservedBetter · 23/10/2020 08:24

@decoraters

I guess the part I don't 'get' is what additional risk factor I pose

I think the thing you don't get is that it isn't all about you. I mean that in the nicest possible way although I appreciate their is no good way to write it. The boundary has to lie somewhere. Individual circumstances cannot be considered. It has to be a clear boundary otherwise how many other people who also live nearby will be thinking/doing that same? How far into a tier do we go before it becomes unacceptable to keep going to the other side? You? Your neighbour? Their neighbour? The far end of your street? It makes no sense, of course it doesn't but as things need to be done as a whole and not one by one then their has to be that line you don't cross.

Look, I appreciate that officially there has to be a cut off point.

That's not really what I'm trying to say. Although yes I do think we've been wrongly classes as tier 2 personally, that wasn't what my original post was about.

I was asking if you personally would bother not seeing your mum because you lived 2 metres on the wrong side of a sign. I'm not asking about the officialness of it all, I understand that there has to be a border somewhere obviously.

OP posts:
RedskyAtnight · 23/10/2020 08:25

I'd err on the side of caution - because, frankly, everyone should be erring on the side of caution (even in Tier 1, it's a bad idea to meet with a different 5 people from 5 different households every day, just because you can ...). You can still meet your mum - you'll just need to go for a walk or sit in the park.

JellyBabiesSaveLives · 23/10/2020 08:27

Soupdragon, that is correct. It’s if you are in tier 2 or if you live in tier 2.

OP, have a look at the map and see what cases are like in your postcode, and your mum’s, and then decide. For reference, Manchester stopped households mixing when cases were at 30 in a 100,000.

coronavirus-staging.data.gov.uk/details/interactive-map

LemonTT · 23/10/2020 08:29

At this point I err in favour of local rather than national lockdowns. That throws up boundaries and inconsistencies that we just have to live with.otherwise we would have T3 everywhere.

We don’t have to do everything that is allowed in the tiers. Probably better that people rein themselves in. Because we have spread. Even if you don’t go to the town, others will.

Florencex · 23/10/2020 08:30

It doesn’t matter where the signpost is. You put your postcode into op the government local restrictions checker and follow the rules that pop up. There is no need to make this any more complicated.

TheOrigRights · 23/10/2020 08:32

I am also in Essex, with my main town being tier1.
I'm just being sensible.
We cancelled a trip (again!) that we had booked for last weekend.
We won't go and visit DS1 over 1/2 term.

AyDeeAitchDee · 23/10/2020 08:33

We're currently tier 1.

But I predict we'll be tier 2 shortly.

As we're 5 minutes walk from being in a London Borough.

But I am not stopping seeing my parents again. (One is disabled and the other is their carer so they can't cope without my support. It was hard enough back in the spring but has gotten so much worse now)

I think we do count as a support bubble. And I'll gladly stop seeing anyone else.

But I could lose the disabled parent at any time and the other cannot cope without help from me. So we're treating ourselves as one household as if we had the space we'd be living together.

BlackandGold · 23/10/2020 08:34

You take your post code with you, so if you are in a Tier 1 area you stick to the Tier 1 rules, same with Tiers 2 and 3.
Unfortunate for some, but that's how it's been decided.

JellyBabiesSaveLives · 23/10/2020 08:35

My neighbour’s mum lives in the next village, which is tier 2, while we’re tier 1. From the government interactive map, our village has twice as many cases as theirs. So my neighbour isn’t visiting, but not because of the tiers!

flaviaritt · 23/10/2020 08:36

I guess the part I don't 'get' is what additional risk factor I pose

Probably a tiny one. But if everyone takes the same view as you, the virus spreads.

Phineyj · 23/10/2020 08:36

This is why it would be better to have a single set of national rules. The government have made an already complicated situation still more so, on our crowded little island with its arbitrary borders between areas (imagine how many people are in Tier 2/Tier 1 boundary areas round London).

WanderingMilly · 23/10/2020 08:36

If I were you I would carry on as you have been, the whole system is bonkers anyway.

I live in an area which is currently Tier 1 which may well go into Tier 2 and could go higher owing to a large city (which is far away and I never visit) which has rising cases yet again. However, on the other side is the county border where there is hardly a case at all (very rural).

As schools aren't shutting, it doesn't matter what Tier my country goes into, I will still have to go to work (small school, young children) and will therefore cross the border and live my life as I do every day anyway.

Until ALL schools shut, completely, we really won't stop cases rising, although the rise may happen more slowly. But....we can't shut schools again, children have suffered for it, their mental health and education have been affected and families just can't cope with more home schooling, never mind the fact that people can't work.

Instead we need to look at ways of living with the virus and minimising the risks while going about our daily lives, instead of all this shut down/open up/ shut down again. It just won't work in the long run, there has to be another way....

Acerred · 23/10/2020 08:37

@AyDeeAitchDee

We're currently tier 1.

But I predict we'll be tier 2 shortly.

As we're 5 minutes walk from being in a London Borough.

But I am not stopping seeing my parents again. (One is disabled and the other is their carer so they can't cope without my support. It was hard enough back in the spring but has gotten so much worse now)

I think we do count as a support bubble. And I'll gladly stop seeing anyone else.

But I could lose the disabled parent at any time and the other cannot cope without help from me. So we're treating ourselves as one household as if we had the space we'd be living together.

The guidelines say you can provide care so that's well within them Thanks
jalopy · 23/10/2020 08:39

Is she part of your support bubble? If she's vulnerable, I think you can.

JellyBabiesSaveLives · 23/10/2020 08:40

@BlackandGold no you don’t. That’s only if you go down a tier. If you live in tier 1, and you go to tier 2, you follow tier 2 rules.

fiftiesmum · 23/10/2020 08:42

It's not just covid where living on the border can be a pain. It touches all aspects of life health (I refuse to go to catchment hospital as no public transport), education, transport ( non existent county bus services) social services etc.

FatGirlShrinking · 23/10/2020 08:44

I live in Leicester city, the border is the end of my road about 10 houses down. I've been living under additional restrictions since the national lockdown ended in June, We haven't been able to socialise indoors since the beginning of March.

Do I think it's fair, fun and happy. No of course not, but I'm following the rules because the more people who don't the longer the restrictions will be in place and the more people will be infected.

We only have a very small extended family but the restrictions have meant we have only been able to see my in laws outside, until this month that had to be in parks but now since the 3 tiers we can actually meet in the garden too (tier 2) as long as we SD. We have only been able to see Great Gran through the window of her flat as she's in her 90s and has health condition so can't do outside meet ups but can care for herself so the risk of us potentially bringing the virus to her when she doesn't need us to perform a caring role is too high.

Yellredder · 23/10/2020 08:55

We're in a Tier 3 bordering onto a Tier 1 - which is where we naturally spend a lot of time. It's our nearest town for shopping, nearest hospital etc.

sar302 · 23/10/2020 09:01

I've wondered about this, as the houses on the other side of the road are in a different county, and everything we access is in that county, including nursery, grandparents, friends, shops etc. They're so intertwined that you can "cross boarders" for schools, GP etc and our mail regularly arrives with the other county listed.
Both are in tier 1 at the moment, but if we went into tier 2 and they didn't, I think I would probably carry on as we are. We're living a very quiet life at the moment anyway - working from home, shopping delivered, no visits to pubs and so on.
Obviously there does have to be a cut off somewhere. But it is a weird situation to be in!