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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

consultant unreasonable, hospital or me?

101 replies

thesootherfairy · 22/10/2020 18:31

Long back story...
After years of pain, finally referred to rheumatology last year. Was diagnosed with an degenerative inflammatory arthritis condition.
Second appointment, same consultant in Feb this year.

Appointment was absolutely awful. he was rude, abrupt, talked over me the whole time. Insisted I take Biologics injections. I had made it clear I didn't want this as I object to the way this medication is made (religious views which were ignored) and side effects are absolutely brutal.
The appointment was a Saturday morning and there was only him, me and a nurse at the other end of a very long corridor.
Halfway through, he locked the door and then became almost abusive because I refused to take dangerous life changing drugs which could potentially kill me or at best make me really sick and rarely work for people with my type of arthritis.
He carried on intimidating me for a good half hour before unlocking the door and letting me go.
He talked over me, part way through stood up from his chair and stood over me whilst berating me. I ended up being frightened because I couldn't get out of the room, he was standing over me pratically yelling at me - I just wanted to leave.
He told me I would only be allowed physiotherapy (the cornerstone of treatment for my condition) if I took part in one of his Biologics clinical trials (am of child bearing age so no thanks to that!)
I made a complaint to the hospital. I received a 3 page apology.
A month after the apology, he wrote to me directly! Completely unrepentant about what happened.
I wrote to the hospital again but received no reply due to COVID lock down etc.
I had a letter in a while ago for a telephone appointment with rheumatology dept. I called the appointments line to check it wouldn't be this man again. I was assured that under no circumstances would he be contacting me again. And that they have 15 other rheumatology consultants and registrars who would take care of me instead.
The phone call was today.
Yes, you guessed it, it was him, again!
He was well aware of my complaints and my wishes not to have any further interaction with him. He said, he "couldn't see what my problem was". I asked to end the call and I had to ask 3 times before he listened (I know, I should just have hung up!). He was very rude and said he would "speak to the powers that be" about me.
I am so upset. Not only was it him again being rude to me.
I also waited 9 months for this appointment and for physio referral. And now I could wait another 9 to 12 months before anything happens, having already waiting 18 months for treatment so far.
Anyway, I'm very upset. So am I being unreasonable? Should I just suck up the rudeness, being ignored and talked over because the NHS is under pressure (covid, money etc)??

OP posts:
MitziK · 24/10/2020 13:48

Have you had a vitamin D level test at all?

I had a severe deficiency picked up by one Rheumatologist (my level was 11) and that gives rise to osteomalacia, which is bone pain.

The main symptoms of that were hip pain and leg pain, which got worse the longer it went on - I couldn't sleep on my side, for example - unrelated to my joints and tendons. I also began to waddle. The shoe inserts definitely helped, but didn't stop the pain - I had a mattress, then a memory foam topper, then a thick quilt underneath the base sheet because I just couldn't do it and would wake up in the night with pain if I had rolled onto my side and put pressure on my hip.

Anyhow, after lots of supplementation, making sure I increased my vitamin D sources, getting short bursts of sun every day during late Spring - Summer (lunchbreak standing outside) and a lot of muttering about whether this was ever going to stop hurting, it reduced slowly and now, whilst the autoimmune stuff is now being handled largely by biologics, the actual pain I had in my hip and leg lessened over the course of about 6-9 months.

Unfortunately, having just the one diagnosis is rare - but if there is osteomalacia (which doesn't show up, it's only visible when it's progressed way beyond just pain to osteopenia/osteoporosis), that's something that can be dealt with and doesn't influence the other autoimmune things (that may be in remission?).

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