AIBU MIL

[Cheeseboardandmincepies]

Light hearted one. I think.

The other day MIL was round she saw a table online and showed me and said did I want it and said how much, I said no as it didn’t suit my house. She then said oh I’ve got a table we can swap. I said I wasn’t sure if I could afford it. (Because times are hard let’s be honest)
She literally put me on the spot. Told me to hurry up and decide as it was about it go. I said yes as I felt anxious being put on the spot like that. Sent her £20 for her then to tell me the table she’s giving me has been eaten by her dogs and needs sanding down.
Basically I’ve spent £20 for her to have a new table while I get a half destroyed table I didn’t need. AIBU for being a bit like wtf? 😳 Feel like I’ve been done over a bit wasnt until afterwards I reliezed I’ve effectively paid for her to have a new table and I’ll probably have a table that will have to be binned.

That's shocking really, why can't she pay for her own table? Ask for you £20 back again

That’s terrible! I would just send a really breezy text back saying ‘Oh that’s a shame! Not to worry, you can just give me the £20 back when I see you next’ and then remind her every time until she returns it. She’s totally taking advantage!

Do you already have a table before this nonsense started?

She told me to my face and I just sat there not knowing what to say as I was half shocked half wtf. She’s bringing it round at some point so I could refuse it and ask for it back but chances are I’ll probably not get my money back and be stuck with it now. It’s own fault I don’t stick up for myself enough. Just annoyed about it as I have a perfectly fine table that’s not destroyed and could really have just kept for a few more years.

AIBU to say the table is her Xmas present? 😂 she knows I don’t like confrontation as well.

Ask for the £20 back and don’t take the shit table.

She's a cheeky mare.

I think you've found a good solution. Keep your own nice table. Tell her you dont think her broken table is a good swap for the new one, but never mind, she can keep the table you bought and this years Christmas present. Big smile.

Just tell her you've changed your mind

Your DH needs to step in to solve this one

Yes, tell her to forget it, on reflection you don't need a new table, the £20 is her Christmas present.

Ask her to sand it down before delivering? You haven't got the time/space to do it and you didn't know it was damaged when you agreed. Get DH to sort it with her x

I don’t understand the story.

Why did you agree to take a table you are not familiar with but you could turn down the table online because it didn’t suit your house. Where on earth are you getting a table for £20 anyway.

She surely can’t have bought a new table for £20?

What’s your current table like?

Mine sends me photos of crap furniture she's found online or in charity shops all the time. Some of it looks disgusting. I just say we don't want/need it. Stop being a pushover

Get hubby to say no thanks and ask for the money back. If she refuses then dont buy her a xmas present. That should cancel it out.

This is idea of it being her Christmas present is a great idea, and I think would make everyone happy - she gets her table, you get to keep hers. I would just say: we’ve taken a look and your table wouldn’t quite work here so why don’t you keep that as a spare, and we’ll gift you your new table as an early Christmas present?

You don’t like confrontation so now you’ve ended up with a table you don’t want and you’ve lost £20. It’s not confrontational to say no.

Not getting this. You've got a table anyway, she told you to buy a £20 table and you did? Why?

Just keep your existing table and tell her you don't want the £20 table!

Let your DH handle this and if she won’t give the money back you’re right to tell her it’s her xmas gift.

“Hi MIL. I’ve been thinking. I like my table and don’t have time to sand yours down after it’s been chewed. Obviously I’ve paid for your new one so please just call it a Christmas present and dispose of your old one as you think best.”

@Cheeseboardandmincepies
Yeah what the hop said is good!

Ask for money back or talk to husband, surely he will see this situation is a joke and have words with his mother.

Why didn't you just say "no, thank you"?

Just asked for the £20 back for fuck’s sake

Definitely tell her it's her Christmas present but then stick to your guns and just give her a Christmas and hand draw a picture of a table inside. You have to play cheeky fuckers like this at their own game

She literally put me on the spot. Told me to hurry up and decide as it was about it go. I said yes as I felt anxious being put on the spot like that

Your MIL has no problem bullying you to do what she wants. Tell her no, you've changed your mind.

You definitely need to get your big girl pants on or this will be your life - obeying her orders, being afraid of saying no. That's not confrontational, its standing up for yourself.