To ask you to talk to me about PMS/PMDD

[PreMenstralMonster]

I know it's personal so apologies but I'm SO sick of this every month and think I'd benefit from knowing I'm not alone. It feels like a physical and mental collapse at the same time every month, around a week before my period.

It all started after having DC2. Prior to that I never experienced any of this.

I rage about anything and everything

I get suspicious/paranoid (which isn't in my usual nature at all!)

Fluctuating mood swings

(Worsening) Anxiety

Depression

I always feel 'ill' as though I have caught something.

Debilitating fatigue

The worst parts for me are the literal rage and feeling extremely under the weather.

Oh and I also have adult acne now, another symptom of my now fucked up hormones.

Does this sound familiar to anybody on here?

Will anything help? Other than antidepressants which I really don't want

Cerazette. Although I know some people hate it!

Thank you inter, for what reasons do people hate it?

Reading with desperate interest as the suggested treatments from my GP to date (the pill and Citalopram) have failed to work and my marriage is in tatters. Still clinging on but I don't know for how much longer.....

Oh Maid, I'm so sorry.

I worry about the effect mine will be having on my relationship too. Poor OH, I don't know how or why he puts up with it. The short answer is because he loves me but I'm not sure I could love somebody who rants and raves like I do for a week every month.

Very familiar and i have been plucking up the courage to go to the dr for help as I am sometimes close to killing myself. I never had an issue until i had a baby and now the anxiety i feel during pms is so bad, i have fantasies about ending it all. I'm really chilled normally but my partner has noticed awful mood swings too. As soon as i get my period, it goes away bit then builds again until the cycle repeats itself.

You are not alone. I think it might be pretty common.

Same. I've got gradually worse over the last few years and it is affecting my marriage (which is already lacklustre) and my behaviour towards my children. Even month I tell myself I'll go to the GP but I don't dare as I the pill sends my crazy and I will not go on any sort of antidepressants. It's scary and I'm hearing of more and more women suffering.

Hi OP - I’m the exact same as you, getting worse each month in fact to the point of thoughts of self harm and suicide.

I’m determined to take control before I truly ruin my loved ones lives - I know when in the month these feelings will start (any day now) so I’m eating no carb and forcing myself to run everyday. I will let you know if this has any impact on my mood.

You have my greatest sympathies, it’s mental torture

My thoughts are with you all, truly. Thank you for letting me know I'm not alone.

Logically I knew I wasn't the only woman to struggle with it, but I've never spoken to anybody else who knew what I was talking about.

I had a horrific birth with my youngest and begged for a hysterectomy afterwards for months and that was before the PMS/DD started. I would welcome a menopause. Not to be insensitive to anybody but I'm done with fertility, hormones, the lot.

The thing is I'm only 27 and I can't bare the thought of living like this for another 25 years.

I'm both comforted and gutted by the replies. Comforted because it's so good to speak to people who get it, and gutted because I wouldn't wish it on anybody else

OH is quietly, perfectly happily making sandwiches for his night shift and all I can think about is "he must hate me, he's probably quiet because he's thinking how horrible I am"

I promise I'm not insane, at least not three weeks out of the month.

This really is the pits.

Me too. The pill has helped hugely. But I had to try a few due to one not being available anymore (zoely) and I had bad nausea (Yasmin). It has stopped me crying all day but I still feel ill all day for 1-2 days. I’m now on microgynon and have also had to start taking another medication (tranexamic acid) as my periods became so unmanageably heavy since taking this pill. It sucks. Definitely go to your GP

I went to see a menopause specialist privately because I believed it was menopause related. I explained exactly the symptoms that you ladies have, totally cyclical, always 14 days into my cycle and then I’d go in to free fall. He told me I wasn’t menopausal, I had severe PMT. Days 1-14, oestrogen was rising and I felt better and better, day 14, ovulation, then the oestrogen (happy hormone) level would fall with the progesterone (angry, anxious, awful hormone) rising - I was prescribed oestrogen patches to be used in the second half of my cycle and they really worked. Certain types of contraceptive pill can help too, where certain ones can exasperate the low feelings. The good news is that you know it’s cyclical so more likely hormonal and you need those hormones balanced, if you read up on the peri menopause it helps you to understand how for years Doctors have prescribed anti depressants, when what was required was hormones. I do know that one size does not fit all, but this is my experience, it really is a monthly emotional rollercoaster.

It’s strange because my thoughts are so incredibly dark about my life (marriage, parenting, my past) during that week but now, when I feel like myself and perfectly fine, I can’t remember the details of how I truly must have felt to be contemplating suicide.

It’s like I’m a completely different person and can’t relate whatsoever.

I'm compiling a list of the things you ladies have said helped you, thank you so much. I'm so pleased to read that some have found something that helps!

Like PP, every month I tell myself I'll speak to my GP but then I bottle it because I'm scared they'll insist on antidepressants or something else that I'll react negatively to.

I have a packet of antibiotics in the cupboard that I'm supposed to start taking for my acne but I haven't started yet because every time I take antibiotics I react badly, sometimes terribly so.

I can totally relate to the incredibly dark thoughts

It's a bad business, ladies. I have this. There's a good Facebook page called UK PMDD Support which I've found helpful. Other things that help me are CBD oil every day (I have and like Simply CBD Liquid Gold currently), 5HTP too on bad days (I like the Solgar ones) and exercise. There's a chap in London called Nick Panay who specialises in treating PMDD, and everyone on the FB group raves about him. I think you can either get your GP to refer you to him on the NHS, or go private. Also Professor Studd - website is interesting: www.studd.co.uk/pms_various.php. One of those two might be worth investigating if it gets really bad. HTH.

There are lots of options for treatment, including the contraceptive pills (Yasmin or Eloine) and also sertraline as an anti depressant. Lots of people find the thought of taking antidepressants scary, I do too, but it's better that missing 50% of every month.

You can take the pill continuously and this will level out your hormones.

These are the first line of treatment, I would recommend talking to a GP who knows their stuff.

Counselling or psychological therapies have also helped me. As we as finding exercise that I love doing, which releases some tension, anxiety and boosts my mood.

Talk to your partner and use an ap to track your cycles, so you know where you are.

Be kind to yourself and try and look after yourself, listen to what you need and love to do, try and find yourself a bit again after becoming a mum.

Thank you ladies, I've added those things to the list of things I'm going to try!

I need to give myself a kick up the backside and get over my worry about the side effects of artificial hormones. I don't think anything will be worse than what I deal with at the moment.

I've requested to join the PMDD support group on Facebook and have just downloaded an app to track my symptoms. Now I know when they are going to come on I will do what I can in the lead up to (hopefully) minimise how bad it gets.

I have a gym membership but haven't been since everything reopened. I'll make a point of getting more exercise now. Anything that may help.

I had PMDD before having my children, and used to take the pill back to back so I didn't have periods. This at least stopped the monthly suicidal feelings, although my mood could still fluctuate a little.

I'm still feeding my youngest and haven't had a period yet, but can feel my mood starting to shift again once a month. I've started taking Angus castus and that seems to have levelled my moods for now, but it will be interesting to see if it helps at all when my periods are actually back

Agnus cactus high strength
Wish I had some other answers
Bain . Of . My .life

Im now taking citalopram and the mini pill and feel the best I have in years. I really didn't want to take the antidepressants but I was a shit mother without them. I have 3 dc and symptoms have got worse after each child.

The antidepressants picked me up enough to be able to exercise properly which helps me manage everything. I also eat better. I'm a bit suspicious of dairy which seems to make acne worse. (😭cheese)

I think the mini pill helps with the acne (I've suffered from about age 14). I now religiously use elemis cleaning balm which ensures my face is clean without totally drying it out. I feel OK at the moment. I can cope with work, kids, life and it feels under control.

Please seek help. It's not 'just pmt'. It's debilitating.

If your GP isn't much help, find a hormone clinic. That's what I did and I am so much better, rarely get pmt now.

Its hell - I remember pre medication periods. I was lucky to have a very understanding GP and after a lot of experiments I now take Angus Cactus high dose every day. I have other health issues so it was hard to find the right medication but there is a lot that can be done. I still get very very tired but no more mood swings or suicidal thoughts. Once my DH knew there was a reason for me turning into a raving loon once a month he found it much easier to manage too. I had to take a medication break over the summer for a couple of months and it was horrible.

Op, and everyone on here who suffers I'm sorry you're feeling these ways
I developed pmdd after having my second child which got even worse after a traumatic experience (which apparently can exacerbate pmdd), I've been to the doctors multiple times and initially was given birth control which made it worse, then a few months later I was given citalopram by a different doctor who was actually really great and understanding and helpful but this didn't help, I do get suicidal feelings during pmdd episodes but for me the overwhelming emotions I get are anger, hatred for my (wonderful) partner, extreme sad emotions, painful joints (among other things).
I've tried months of all the different types of vitamins, herbal treatments they recommend for pmdd, which was really hit and miss because some people say that they make it worse and some people say they help! For me taking everything that is suggested made it worse.
After a particular bad episode of pmdd at the beginning of lockdown I came across someone's suggesting high strength vitamin b6, much higher than the usual recommended dose, 100mg a day (bought it off Amazon for £6 ish) and it has made the world of difference to me.
I went from having a good 2.5 weeks of these extreme emotions, couldn't stand to be around my partner, to now having a couple weeks of a lower but much more manageable mood, I don't get any of the same bad feelings towards partner, then I tend to just have 3/4 days of starting to feel extremely bad but it is infinitely more manageable than it was before.

Also, as other have said Angus castus is the one herbal vitamin I do also still take but don't remember to take it constantly. I also have a high strength cbd oil which I take when feeling particularly bad

I have suffered with this for a long long time. Was put on anti depressants about ten years ago but it never really masked the insane rage I'd feel for two weeks before every period. GP was suggesting I go on progesterone only pill to keep hormones from fluctuating but I had read from hormonal experts that this was a ridiculous way to treat PMDD, as progesterone is what we have a horrible reaction to!

Finally paid for a private consult (and I barely have the money to spare but its worth it) with studd clinic and they put me on an oestrogen gel. Life changing!

@mangoesforever this is really interesting I'm going to look into this