To ask you to talk to me about PMS/PMDD

[PreMenstralMonster]

I know it's personal so apologies but I'm SO sick of this every month and think I'd benefit from knowing I'm not alone. It feels like a physical and mental collapse at the same time every month, around a week before my period.

It all started after having DC2. Prior to that I never experienced any of this.

I rage about anything and everything

I get suspicious/paranoid (which isn't in my usual nature at all!)

Fluctuating mood swings

(Worsening) Anxiety

Depression

I always feel 'ill' as though I have caught something.

Debilitating fatigue

The worst parts for me are the literal rage and feeling extremely under the weather.

Oh and I also have adult acne now, another symptom of my now fucked up hormones.

Does this sound familiar to anybody on here?

Will anything help? Other than antidepressants which I really don't want

I'm so sorry you are all suffering so much. I have PMDD and have to plan most aspects of my life around it. The suicidal feelings, rage, pumping anxiety and general feeling of hopelessness are things I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

My GP put me on Fluoxetine, which has taken the edge off and helps me get through it. Recently though, it started to get bad again and I'm now also on Femodette. Oddly enough, though I react badly to the Pill and usually feel even worse, this one has really calmed the waters. I have now had a whole month without a "hell week" and it's life changing.

Don't give up. You can and will feel better. You're stronger than the PMS/PMDD. Sending love to you all.

Another thing that helps is walking and getting outside. PMDD can intersect with seasonal depression and get bad around the time the clocks go back. A lightbox works wonders but there's no substitute for a brisk 20 minute walk in the daylight.

Also, and it's hard to keep this up but hear me out, cutting out sugar helps me personally. There's something about the insulin spikes that make hormonal fluctuations worse but give it a Google and see what research there is out there.

Thank you so much ladies, my list of potentially helpful supplements and avenues for help is growing rapidly due to this thread!

I'm having a shit day of it today. I woke up to somebody being argumentative on social media which triggered the rage so I've deactivated the whole thing and thrown a wobbler. I've then had faff with work about invoices being in the wrong format and had to go back and redo the whole thing and the deadline is today. Due to the clumsiness (also a symptom I get, yay) I had to redo it again because i put the wrong amount.

I have TMD and that is flaring up because I'm so stressed and tense.

Please feel free to use this thread as a place to offload and vent. It's a horrible condition indeed.

I'm embarrassed about how I just can't seem to handle small inconveniences at this time of the month.

The period pain cramps have started so hopefully it starts soon and I can regain a semblance of normality!

I usually come on my period on the 23rd but the last two months it has been the 28th, I'm praying it'll go back to the 23rd so I can get this out of the way

I also have PMDD and I also have to organise my life around it. It also started after the birth of my second child. I don’t very often have suicidal feelings now but still find that the second half of my cycle causes me endless problems and the main one is how it affects my relationship. My poor DP has to put up with so much 😢. Every month I resolve to try harder during this stage but as we all know it’s out of my control. I am like Jekyll and Hyde. I have had limited help from GP but haven’t found anything that works so far. I will not use anti depressants due to previous issues with them.

I'm sorry you struggle too Le, it really does take it's toll on personal relationships

My partner knows all about my condition but that doesn't make it any easier for him to be around me when I'm like this.

I too have had bad experiences with AD's so don't want to go back on them either.

I'm definitely going to try holistic methods first and if I don't get any better then I'll look for a hormone specialist, even if I have to save for the consultation.

The NAPS PMDD treatment guidelines are also worth looking through, to be aware of what your doctors are likely to be considering in terms of treatment for you. Second last page in this document:
www.pms.org.uk/app/uploads/2018/06/guidelinesfinal60210.pdf

I have this too. You have my fullest sympathy, op. It is horrendous.
The worst thing is that I cannot recognise/remember how I felt at the time when it has passed, making accessing help really hard. When I feel like it, I become self destructive and almost unable to recognise how badly I need help.

I think a previous poster has said the same.

I am reading all the advice on here and hoping something will help.
Also time to call the GP!

Thank you for starting this thread.

Thank you for the linked document, Coulda. That's very helpful. I'm going to go and have a read of that now!

Oh Kaki, I'm so sorry you have to go through the same. There is nobody in this world I would wish this on

The worst thing is that I cannot recognise/remember how I felt at the time when it has passed, making accessing help really hard

Oh yes i can relate to this, that is half the reason I haven't reached out for help from the GP yet.

You're more than welcome to stick around, it's cathartic to have a place where we can relate. I would love to know how you get on with your GP (best of luck with that, I hope they're supportive and you find something that works)

I'm going to push myself to do the same and ask my partner to keep on at me until I do!

Argh! This is me. My RAGE and twattishness are unbelievable 7 -10 days before I get my period. I am such an argumentative dick and I have no idea why I've not been dumped yet - I would absolutely deserve it. Thank you to other posters for the ideas as I'm following closely.

@thatsyourbusiness

It’s strange because my thoughts are so incredibly dark about my life (marriage, parenting, my past) during that week but now, when I feel like myself and perfectly fine, I can’t remember the details of how I truly must have felt to be contemplating suicide.

It’s like I’m a completely different person and can’t relate whatsoever.

Yes I get this too. It is very very odd. I know I feel like ending it all / divorce / selling up and moving to a commune in spain then 3 days later have no idea why

This thread is fascinating

Horrendous condition

And for me and my family so hard to openly talk about

Sending you all best wishes ❤️❤️❤️

Absolutely agree with these comments, u feel like divorcing my husband every month, think about financial plans etc then afterwards wonder what I was thinking! But then I feel guilty for thinking it. I have noticed this month it has been a lot better and I have drastically improved my diet by cutting down on sugar so there could be something in that.

I had always had a bit of pmt but once my periods came back after having my daughter, I experienced it worse than I ever had before. I felt exhausted, tearful, really down, really angry etc for about 10 days. It was horrible. It wasn’t every month but the months it did hit were atrocious. Before going to the docs, I tried some supplements. I tried B6, magnesium and 5htp. I’ve since run out of B6 and haven’t noticed. The magnesium and 5htp have definitely had a dramatic effect though. 5htp is pretty expensive but I only take it between ovulation and my period now and you can often get it in the penny sale. Since I’ve been taking the supplements, I haven’t had it bad since. It’s back to just feeling a bit grouchy for a few days. It’s a massive relief.

You need to take medication as your I'll. It is a hormonal MH problem problem, if it was your kidney or heart you'd take medication.
I've suffered with this all my life. My rage is insane I've got it slightly under control as
I exercise, take vitamins, eat well, alongside AD.
Life is so much better since I changed AD.
Steralyn help me focus and prepare.

ill not I'll.

Very interesting how vitamins can help, I'm going to Holland and Barrett today. I need to feel as though I'm at least doing something.

It's another shit day of it today, quite literally in one sense. I've had an upset stomach for the duration of this episode and feel so drained. I had a mini breakdown over knocking a glass of water over then flopped down on the sofa and sobbed.

My three step children are coming round today so I need to give myself a serious kick up the back side, 5 children to entertain when I feel like this is so daunting.

I have sertraline in the cupboard from last year but never started taking them, I chose to try and manage my MH in holistic ways instead. Looking back, I never joined the dots that a huge part of my problem is hormones. I had talking therapy that helped slightly but not much. It makes sense now why I haven't got better.

Hi OP and everyone else

I have endo and PMDD. Hormone based meds did not help and seemed to just make it worse. Like others, my pmt was bad before kids but terrible after (I think it's harder to self care when you have small kids).

The merina was terrible. My legs were sore and my mood was awful. My husband said I was unrecognisable.

I did take ADs from ovulation to period for a few months. I needed it to get back on an even keel.

Now I manage it with diet and exercise. I only eat organic dairy and no added hormone meat. Magnesium, calcium, msm and Chinese herbs. No wheat and minimal alcohol, never before my period or I'll get a three day migraine.

It's not a perfect science and unlikely what works for me works for everyone but so far I've made it through two full lockdowns without divorce. I also know to avoid really hectic work days the week before my period. If I can't avoid it, my husband will cover all house and kids work and I just work and crawl into bed when finished.

Very interesting to see the B12 comments, I might give that a try!

I’m reading through and it’s just mind boggling how prevalent this condition is. Yes @LightSwitchedOn, I too was offered AD’s from ovulation to my period, but I was just concerned at how that would work, so never agreed to them. Why isn’t there more special hormone clinics, more research and just more help generally? Trust me if you think PMT is bad, read up about peri menopause and what that does to you - again all hormone driven. Suicide rates and marriage break ups peak amongst women aged 45 to 54. It just makes me really sad to see how our lives and those of our families are blighted by something so treatable.

God it's shit being a woman isn't it.

I would rather be a man and take my chances with male pattern baldness. That's the only gender specific negative I can think of that some of them have to put up with.

Thank you LightSwitch, I'm really pleased you've found something that helps you. It is very encouraging to read such accounts. I could definitely do with improving my diet and doing more exercise, unfortunately I've let myself go a bit this year.

Rina, peri menopause sounds just as bad. I'm not looking forward to that either. If I could click my fingers and avoid this PM crap, peri menopause and be in most menopause for the rest of my life I would be happy - I think.

I've definitely ruled out more children, I'm satisfied that my family is complete. Having a womb and fluctuating hormones is nothing but a hindrance to me now.

I feel bad even saying these things when I know there are women out there who would embrace all of these things if it meant they could be mothers

• post menopause

That was supposed to say

This all sounds very familiar to me! I'm horrendous the week before my period. I hate everyone, am really short with my children, lits of self hatred and I fantasise about physically hurting my husband which is somewhat alarming. I also do the divorce planning / financial calculations every month

Once my period comes I have a lightbulb moment and think 'ah that's what it was!'. Then I feel normal again and forget about it until the next month.

I keep meaning to go to the GP..... considered the mirena coil for the heavy periods and heard it helps PMS symptoms for some people.

Diet changes help me A LOT.
Cut right down to on sugar and starchy carbs (these make my mood swings ten times worse), plenty of veg, fruits and nuts.
Minimal caffeine and dairy, lots of water.
Good sleep hygiene.
Daily exercise and fresh air.
Magnesium, multivitamin, selenium and zinc.
If my mood dips, spend less time on screens, as that definitely makes me worse.

I’ve also been drinking hot water and fresh ginger every morning for about 6 weeks now and this helps too.

I wouldn’t take medication without trying lifestyle charges first. Medication just masks the problem.

I've got PMDD and Fluoxetine is a life saver for me.

I didn't have any issues at all until I got pregnant and by week 7 was suicidal and planning on killing myself due to hormones. I terminated at 12 weeks as couldn't face enduring another 6 months of feeling so, so awful.

Ever since, my PMT was brutal - I would convince myself my Husband was having an affair, I'd convince myself that I was going to get sacked at work as my Boss thought I was useless and that all my co-workers hated me. If they complimented me, I knew it was because they were joking and really thought the opposite. All my friends disliked me and were talking behind my back and the reason they didn't reply to my text wasn't because they were busy, it was because they couldn't bear to reply.

....... I used to read, re-read, re-read and edit and then re-read every single text message / email or correspondence to every co-worker, friend or family member as I was petrified that I would somehow 'cause offence' to them. I'd try to get an earlier train home, just to 'catch' my Husband having sex with a prostitute and God forbid he was proactive in washing the bedsheets as it meant he was trying to get rid of 'evidence'.

All I can say is, I am professional successful, I've got a wonderful set of friends, my family are amazing and I'm very lucky.... but for 10 days a month, I sometimes wish I could go to sleep and not wake up due to how utterly low I feel.

The first time I ever took any antidepressant was when I was pregnant (which helped a bit, but not enough) and I went through trying vitamins / healthy eating / meditation........ However, what I literally wanted was an internal wall that could just block the hormones,.

20mg Fluoxetine is enough to block my hormonal changes and ensure that my life doesn't become intolerable for 10 days a month

elementstherapies.com is where I found help. Best bit is that the counsellor herself suffers badly with it as well so has been exactly where you are

I don't know if this will be of any help to some of you, but I figured it's worth sharing as there are women in the PMDD UK support group who have testified to antihistamines helping.

I have been doing a bit of research and it is said that antihistamine may help due to our bodies reactions to our hormones. Our bodies make a lot of histamine before our period and ovulation. There is lots of info on the group about it.

I'm going to give it a shot myself, nothing to lose. I have some here already

www.larabriden.com/histamine-intolerance-pms-pmdd/