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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not offer DH my appointment?

77 replies

Interfluvials · 20/10/2020 20:40

About 6 weeks ago I had a doctors appointment where I discussed the flu jab and asked advice on availability and if the doctor also thought there would be supply issues. She said yes and told me to book an appointment to have it done so they would have me on their list (as they wouldn't be doing an open door policy this year). My appointment is next week.

DH has been saying for weeks he will get one, called his doctor today, they haven't received theirs yet, call back at the end of the week. Read in paper today that there is indeed a supply problem and they are asking people not to get it if they can avoid it. He doesn't think they will give him one.

DH works, I'm a SAHM. We have no one who can help out if I get ill, i.e. I just have to get on with it. It's bad enough with a 24 hour bug, there's no way I could manage if I really had the flu. Especially if the DC get it too. He hasn't outright said it, but I think he's a bit annoyed I haven't said he can take my appointment (assuming my doctor gets a delivery). I keep switching between "don't be crazy, you'd never manage to look after the Dc" to "don't be selfish, you don't want him ill" to "but neither do I want to be ill" to "he earns the money" to "well, he would get sick pay and I've no one to help with the DC"!

AIBU to not even suggest I ask if he can have my appointment?

OP posts:
nocoolnamesleft · 20/10/2020 21:37

If you don't want your vaccine, that's fine. Your GP will allocate it to the next patient on their list that needs it. Which won't be your DH.

Leeds2 · 20/10/2020 21:37

If the flu jab was so important to him, he could have organised his own at the same time you did.

category12 · 20/10/2020 21:38

Of course you shouldn't give up your appointment.

Why are you married to such a dick who won't step up when you're ill anyway?

tara66 · 20/10/2020 21:42

Most chemists usually have it - like Boots.

JinglingHellsBells · 20/10/2020 21:43

You can get a flu jab at pharmacies, supermarkets and private vaccination clinics for £12-£15.

It's not complicated.

Most surgeries are only offering it to the over 65s firs then the over 50s next.

Me and DH had ours last week and cancelled the GP appts as they were too far ahead. (we are 65.)

JinglingHellsBells · 20/10/2020 21:44

Me and DH had ours last week - Paid for and lots of availability at local chemist and vaccination centre.

Boots is having issues with supplies and heard they are not taking more bookings at the moment

ScarMatty · 20/10/2020 21:45

YABU for lacking the ability to discuss this openly with your husband instead of jumping to conclusions

ssd · 20/10/2020 21:45

Superdrug has loads.

JinglingHellsBells · 20/10/2020 21:45

I wish you'd said right at the star you were not in the UK!

why do posters omit such vital stuff- makes posting a waste of time.

JinglingHellsBells · 20/10/2020 21:47

90% of these posts are a waste of info as the OP says - half way through the thread- she is not in the UK.

Confused
RubaiyatOfAnyone · 20/10/2020 21:49

As none of us know what country you are in, OP, we can’t really offer practical advice.

What we can say (as i already have above) is do NOT give up your appointment. You need it, especially if he’s not going out currently and you are.

Sally872 · 20/10/2020 21:50

You can give up your appointment and your gp will decide who gets it. You can't give your appointment to your husband.

He is probably annoyed at himself or the situation rather than you. If he is actually annoyed you have one and he doesn't he is very unreasonable.

AlwaysLatte · 20/10/2020 21:51

As he's working and his time is more critical I would let my husband have it but I wouldn't have been in this position in the first place as I'd have just booked two appointments while I was already on the phone to them.

BookWormBitch · 20/10/2020 21:52

I’m not sure why you’re even asking this? It’s your appointment! Why would he expect you to offer it to him?

morethanmeetstheeye · 20/10/2020 21:54

It's your appointment

He didn't organise himself

His health is his responsibility

MarinaMarinara · 20/10/2020 21:58

OP might it be more that he is annoyed that you only booked for yourself rather than booking two while you were already on the phone/online/whatever? That seems more likely to me than irritation that you haven’t offered him your appointment surely?

That is how I would feel in his shoes anyhow. I am the sole earner here, DH is a SAHD. We get vaccinated every year (privately albeit I can expense mine). DH books for both of us. It takes seconds more than just booking his own, so makes sense. In any event, life admin like that tends to be his job more than mine.

You being sure he wouldn’t take time off, and it not sounding like he would make other arrangements either, sounds a bit like there is a deeper issue though. I would take time off if DH was really too ill to competently look after the DC. If I could. And if I really couldn’t take leave or couldn’t take enough leave I wouldn’t leave him or the kids in difficulty or danger - we would cobble together something from a mix of family and paid help (e.g. previously a mix of grandparents and emergency nanny or friend’s au pair).

SunshineCake · 20/10/2020 22:00

I get the flu jab on the NHS and dh pays for his. Same should happen with you. I haven't heard there is any kind of issue with supply.

Feedingthebirds1 · 20/10/2020 22:10

I wish you'd said right at the star you were not in the UK!

why do posters omit such vital stuff- makes posting a waste of time.

Probably because if she's in a country where they don't have Boots or Superdrug, and their chemists don't do the jabs, she wouldn't have known that it was a possibility in other countries so it wouldn't even have crossed her mind. She only realised she had to clarify when several PPs started saying he should go to Boots/SD.

marveloustimeruiningeverything · 20/10/2020 22:12

Get your jab.

He should have booked himself an appointment; he's a man, not a child.

He won't be next on a wait list for one anyway, so they won't just give him yours.

PrivateD00r · 20/10/2020 22:16

Of course yanbu for keeping your appt. DH is also NBU as he hasn't actually at any point asked for your appt or even insinuated he wants it, as per your op. I honestly don't understand why you posted, are you feeling bad? Because you really shouldn't!

Regularsizedrudy · 20/10/2020 22:30

....but he hasn’t asked for your appointment

LannieDuck · 20/10/2020 22:42

I don't understand why you're thinking of giving your appointment to him? If there's only one of something, do you always let him have it?

Both of you had a chance to arrange appointments, and only one of you did. Why do you feel he deserves the appointment slot more than you do?

jessstan1 · 20/10/2020 22:46

Don't give him your appointment. Try other places, pharmacies for example. I had an email from Boots saying they were booking appointments again. At any rate, get him to go on the list for Boots and Lloyds and phone any other local pharmacies to see if he can do the same.

TheDuchessofMalfy · 20/10/2020 22:49

Even if it were possible (which I don’t think it is) absolutely do not give your appointment to him.

If he is ill, he can call in sick, recover in bed and you will continue to care for children. If you are sick, he won’t be given time off to come and care for children in your place. You’re the priority here to stay well.

MrsWooster · 20/10/2020 22:51

Haven’t rtft, but surely if he gets it, he goes to bed and moans for a week, on full pay: No one except him loses.

If you get it, no one can look after the kids unless he takes time off (prob unpaid, which he won’t) so the wheels come right off the whole family bus: everyone including him loses.