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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to expect to be a priority getting on a bus in a wheelchair

255 replies

Worrysaboutalot · 20/10/2020 16:38

I am going to start using buses whilst in my power chair.

Apart from wondering how I will physically be able to get on to the bus, I would like to know what is the law regarding prams and wheelchairs.

Do I have priority over a pram or not ?

Can I insist that a pram is folded, so I can get on?

There is only 1 bus every 2 hours between my village and the shopping centre, so I really can't risk being stranded there. On other hand I need to get out of the house too.

Any advice welcome. I am in the North West if that makes any difference.

OP posts:
Nat6999 · 20/10/2020 21:34

I would look if you have dial a ride in your area. You can't always guarantee that bus drivers will give you priority over passengers already on the bus.

Mynamenotaccepted · 20/10/2020 21:35

We were in Paris with my son in his wheelchair and boarded a bus, there was a dad with his child in a buggy in the disabled place. The bus driver stormed down the aisle shouted at the dad to move and told us to use the space. I was mortified but it was right .

lifestooshort123 · 20/10/2020 21:36

Someone up thread mentioned a maclaren buggy. I had one in the 80s, like a green striped deckchair that collapsed to not much more than umbrella size. That's what parents on buses need to get - mind you they often have loads of shopping to hang on the buggy. I hope you get it sorted OP and that fellow travellers are kind. We watched in dismay once when a young chap in a wheelchair couldn't manoeuvre it round a pole near the bus entrance and, despite the driver doing his best to help, defeat was admitted and he slowly reversed off. He must have felt pretty mortified. It was a bog standard, single decker Essex bus but perhaps his chair was a fraction larger than most?

Honeyandapple · 20/10/2020 21:39

@myrtleWilson
How? OP wouldn't have any care for allowing a little baby to be stranded waiting for a bus for 2 hours in the cold. Who's to say the mother has all she needs. I would never wish that.

I agree disabled users should have a priority to a bus space but that doesn't mean having complete disregard for another (more vulnerable, a baby) is ok. What she said was horrible.

Umbridge34 · 20/10/2020 21:40

@Casschops

I regularly used catch a bus into town when my little boy was tiny with his buggy and hang all of the shopping on the back This was all after work do was a regular time of day after nursery . Nightmare. There was a lady in a manual wheelchair who got on at leat three times a week. I used to get up for her pile the shopping onto the floor hand my son to her and collapse the buggy. She would pass me my son and reverse into the space with my buggy wedged behind her wheelchair so it didn't slip. It was quite a good routine and people thought it was funny. We used mock eyeroll at eachother. Eventually she gave me her number and she would text me as she got to the bus stop so I could have the buggy ready collapsed. I miss her now we both work from home Grin
I had a similar set up before I could drive with a fella in a power chair who commuted to work on the same bus as me. I'd hand DS to him whilst folding the buggy then he'd either pass him back or hold him for a bit because DS found him hilarious. On our buses you could fit a wheelchair one side and a buggy on the other but since we had such a good rapport I always folded in case someone else needed to get on, which they often did. I miss chatting with him on a morning but I still see him around the area so can catch up.

And as for the ridiculous what if scenario of being stranded with a baby... yep happened to me more than once, middle of knowhere in pissing down rain. I just walked. It was unpleasant of course but I had a rain cover and always travelled with more than enough supplies for the baby. I also tried to make sure I always had money for a taxi just in case. The ride of uber has made this much easier.

safariboot · 20/10/2020 21:41

IMHO the reality is you will get stiffed sooner or later. It's not right, it might not be legal, but it will happen.

myrtleWilson · 20/10/2020 21:41

Well... your comment honey was deleted so I guess it failed to meet TG in someway 🤷🏻‍♀️

Original poster
Worrysaboutalot · 20/10/2020 21:41

ValleyClouds Thank you.

I knew everyone is an accident or an illness away from becoming disabled. But never thought it would actually happen to me.

I was walking in March and couldn't do more than shuffle a few steps by April.

So just a thought to all these mothers, claiming they can't use empathy towards someone like me, because of their choice of pram.

One day, month or year in the future, you could end up in a wheelchair, trying to figure out how to hold your life, family and positive mental health together. I hope if that happens, that the people around you are kind and supportive, as that is the right and moral thing to do.

OP posts:
Umbridge34 · 20/10/2020 21:43

How? OP wouldn't have any care for allowing a little baby to be stranded waiting for a bus for 2 hours in the cold. Who's to say the mother has all she needs. I would never wish that.

Walking warms you up. And the mother should do as the OP has been advised to do and come prepared. Its not a trek through the himalayas for gods sake.

EggysMom · 20/10/2020 21:53

The Maclaren buggy being referenced is a specific disability buggy that is larger than the average toddler buggy, and which - although umbrella foldable - generally carries a disabled child. But to be fair, probably only parents of disabled children would recognise the specific reference.

Quick note to those who do have such a buggy - from eBay you can buy tags to attach to the buggy that explain it should be handled as a wheelchair.

Myspecial1 · 20/10/2020 21:53

Being in a wheelchair does not give us priority over anyone else. It's attitudes like "I'm entitled" that really gets people's backs up. I wait my turn just like everyone else does!

x2boys · 20/10/2020 21:53

But it's ok for you to have complete disregard for a disabled passsenger @Honeyandapple? What if the disabled passenger was a small child ? They also exist if we are going to do whataboutery ?

Original poster
Worrysaboutalot · 20/10/2020 21:59

@Malbecfan I will think about your lovely friend when I travel on the bus. She sounds like a wonderful positive woman. Flowers

OP posts:
PrivateD00r · 20/10/2020 22:00

OP I am really glad that this thread has helped. If you do encounter this situation, please don't feel bad. Any parent (not sure why mother is used so much in this thread!) who uses public transport should be using a foldable buggy and be prepared to fold it as needed. Good luck Flowers

Original poster
Worrysaboutalot · 20/10/2020 22:03

PrivateD00r It has helped. I will set up an account on the local Ring and Ride scheme, as back up and hope I meet positive helpful people on my travels.Grin

OP posts:
AJ1425 · 21/10/2020 00:07

Most of the buses round here have a space for a wheelchair and a space for a buggy. I wish that was standard across all buses, it would save a lot of trouble. I've only had to get off the bus once in nearly 5 years of pram pushing and while it was a bit of a pain, all you can do is smile and get on with it and not be a twat about it. Everyone had to fold before there were wheelchair spaces.
You sound very confident in your rights op so I am sure that will stand you in good stead if you do encounter any problems.

AibuTellMe · 21/10/2020 00:22

You have priority OP we can fold our buggies or get off and walk if we do not want to fold it. They are wheelchair spaces. My buses have 2 but wheelchair users get priority as the space is really for them.

Elsewyre · 21/10/2020 00:38

[quote Honeyandapple]@myrtleWilson
How? OP wouldn't have any care for allowing a little baby to be stranded waiting for a bus for 2 hours in the cold. Who's to say the mother has all she needs. I would never wish that.

I agree disabled users should have a priority to a bus space but that doesn't mean having complete disregard for another (more vulnerable, a baby) is ok. What she said was horrible. [/quote]
Why would they be in the cold?

They're at shopping center

Clareflairmare · 21/10/2020 00:39

In our area there is a designated wheelchair and a designated pram area. It’s allowed if it’s busy to use the wheelchair area for a buggy if not being used but they should fold and vacate that space for you. However please remember some disabled non wheelchair using mums need these spaces too. My sister has a significant physical issue that isn’t a wheelchair but does mean she can’t fold her buggy down, lift it etc. So please be mindful of that. Generally though you should be fine and will get priority.
Hope you have good journeys OP.

Clareflairmare · 21/10/2020 00:40

@Worrysaboutalot

ValleyClouds Thank you.

I knew everyone is an accident or an illness away from becoming disabled. But never thought it would actually happen to me.

I was walking in March and couldn't do more than shuffle a few steps by April.

So just a thought to all these mothers, claiming they can't use empathy towards someone like me, because of their choice of pram.

One day, month or year in the future, you could end up in a wheelchair, trying to figure out how to hold your life, family and positive mental health together. I hope if that happens, that the people around you are kind and supportive, as that is the right and moral thing to do.

That sounds really tough. Hope you are getting all the support you need.
WizWoz · 21/10/2020 00:56

Most mums will prioritise the safety of their baby above the needs of a stranger, and will refuse to get off the bus if it’s the last bus, or if it’s freezing cold and they’ll be stranded for hours with no baby food or changing facilities, or if it’s unsafe or not possible to walk. Under those circumstances there’s very little the driver can do about it. I wouldn’t count on mums always being willing to get off the bus.

DC3Dakota · 21/10/2020 01:36

Thank god I didn't have to use buses when my little one was a baby as I'm disabled! Not in a wheelchair but was unable to collapse my pram! I can't even let myself imagine how that situation would've played out. Me stood at the side of the road with the pram I expect!

DC3Dakota · 21/10/2020 01:37

@Givemeabreak88

Yes.

Oddly though I got off for a woman not long ago who had a go at me for getting off! Wasn’t expecting that to ever happen Confused

Huh?
DC3Dakota · 21/10/2020 01:43

@PurpleDaisies

What makes it okay for you to kick a mother off the bus with her child in the pissing down rain, having already established her place on the bus and paid for her ticket, leaving her stranded with a baby she may not have enough supplies for to last between buses or through the walk?

The fact that it is enshrined in law. You acknowledge this yourself. Trying to make the op feel guilty for standing up for her legal rights is really out of order.

Anyone who gets on a bus with a pram needs to be prepared to fold it or get off.

What about disabled mothers? (I am one, though thankfully I have a car) Just because someone has a pram, doesn't mean they're able to fold it.....
DC3Dakota · 21/10/2020 01:44

@Brighterthansunflowers

You absolutely have priority and the drivers should enforce that. If they don’t then you should complain.

The only time you wouldn’t get priority is if another wheelchair user (including children in special needs buggies/wheelchairs) is already in the space. Buggies should be folded to allow you to get on, no matter how much the parents might moan.

Parents with buggies can fold the buggy and hold their child. You don’t have the option to fold your wheelchair. If parents can’t or won’t fold the buggy then they should get off the bus to allow you to board.

Please see my last comment re: those of us who are disabled mothers!