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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be cross at Costa coffee not letting me go to the loo?

356 replies

Treatedlikeamaid · 20/10/2020 15:23

I think of all the money I’ve spent in Costa and just now I nipped into a branch, it was empty. I asked if I could use the loo and the young man serving told me not if I wasn’t going to buy anything. I mean..it was empty! I’ve spent 100s in there over the years. ! I’m a lady of a certain age when we need the loo, we need the loo! I’m irrationally angry and then got all embarrassed and tearful. Not pleasant at all. It wouldn’t have cost Costa anything to show a bit of consideration. Humph!

OP posts:
ClementineWoolysocks · 20/10/2020 17:40

You should have shown him your receipts!

It wouldn't have hurt to let you use it, no one wants an accident and it's just basic human decency to allow access.
Not sure what you mean by a certain age though.

Eckhart · 20/10/2020 17:40

Are they? Lucky you. I have rheumatoid arthritis so certainly can't but most women I know without a disability can't. And it's hardly as discrete as a man doing it is it? A bit difficult to deal with your period as well. It's flaming disgusting anyway. Cafes tend to be in towns and cities not out in the woods. Nobody should be pissing outside there. Do you enjoy piss smelling doorways and alley ways? It's not something I find pleasant

@pinkksugarmouse

What a lot of assumptions and irrelevent tosh.

vanillandhoney · 20/10/2020 17:40

@Heyahun

First mistake is spending money at Costa tbh 😂 horrible place! Places like that tend to be strict with their toilets. It’s ridiculous- but hey lesson learned - spend your money elsewhere where staff are nicer
But the staff member is just doing their job and following company policy. They're not doing it to piss you off or be mean Hmm
Eckhart · 20/10/2020 17:43

I absolutely would let a stranger use my loo in an emergency, who wouldn’t

I wouldn't. I'm not letting a stranger into my house for any reason. I'd send them down to Costa and tell them to get a coffee. You're allowed to use the loo, then.

flaviaritt · 20/10/2020 17:44

I absolutely would let a stranger use my loo in an emergency, who wouldn’t?

Me.

ImEatingVeryHealthilyOhYes · 20/10/2020 17:45
Sad
Requinblanc · 20/10/2020 17:45

Er no, it is not a public toilet that anyone can use.

This is a private business that provides toilet facilities for its customers only. Next time just buy a coffee...

The staff has to clean up the toilets regularly and they don't need everyone to just walk off the street and treat the place as a public facility. Use common sense...

GrossedOutted · 20/10/2020 17:46

You are being unreasonable for spending 100 of pounds on shit coffee.

And not carrying a Shee Wee and reusable bottle...

ImEatingVeryHealthilyOhYes · 20/10/2020 17:46

I really wish I didn’t have an ex-bowel disease sufferer’s perspective on this. God I wish I’d never had that dreadful disease. If you can wait 5 minutes to find a loo you’re luckier than you know

vanillandhoney · 20/10/2020 17:50

@ImEatingVeryHealthilyOhYes

I absolutely would let a stranger use my loo in an emergency, who wouldn’t?
I certainly wouldn't.
pinkksugarmouse · 20/10/2020 17:51

@Eckhart

Are they? Lucky you. I have rheumatoid arthritis so certainly can't but most women I know without a disability can't. And it's hardly as discrete as a man doing it is it? A bit difficult to deal with your period as well. It's flaming disgusting anyway. Cafes tend to be in towns and cities not out in the woods. Nobody should be pissing outside there. Do you enjoy piss smelling doorways and alley ways? It's not something I find pleasant

@pinkksugarmouse

What a lot of assumptions and irrelevent tosh.

What an assumption to think everyone is both able and happy to piss outside. It's only irrelevant to you but for a lot of people access to a toilet is a big part of life. When you have health conditions, disabilities being able to use a toilet is a big factor. I am happy for you that this is something which doesn't effect you.
IcedPurple · 20/10/2020 17:52

It wouldn't have hurt to let you use it, no one wants an accident and it's just basic human decency to allow access.

Why? It's a private business. What if loads of non-customers wanted to use the facilities for free? Should customers - who are effectively paying for the facilities in the price of ther cup of coffee - have to wait so non-customers could piss for free?

Eckhart · 20/10/2020 17:54

@pinkksugarmouse

What an assumption to think everyone is both able and happy to piss outside

But I didn't assume this. Stop talking rubbish.

And it's 'affect'.

IcedPurple · 20/10/2020 17:55

What an assumption to think everyone is both able and happy to piss outside. It's only irrelevant to you but for a lot of people access to a toilet is a big part of life. When you have health conditions, disabilities being able to use a toilet is a big factor.

But frankly, that's your problem. Private businesses aren't obliged to cater to you. If you need a toilet so desperately, you could always buy a cup of tea for £2. Problem solved.

ImEatingVeryHealthilyOhYes · 20/10/2020 17:55

I do think OP should’ve spent money there (after the loo if necessary)

BLToutanowhere · 20/10/2020 17:56

It's not sexist and God forbid we don't make it an issue by the end of the first page. It's their premises, their toilets and their rules.

The problem is that people really do abuse the privilege if you allow any leeway. Some poor staff member has to go and clean up the filth that people leave and some people are utter lowlife with no respect.

Then there are the smack heads, the shop lifters detagging stuff, the rough sleepers who put your paying customers off.

pinkksugarmouse · 20/10/2020 17:57

@ImEatingVeryHealthilyOhYes

I really wish I didn’t have an ex-bowel disease sufferer’s perspective on this. God I wish I’d never had that dreadful disease. If you can wait 5 minutes to find a loo you’re luckier than you know
Yes there are a one or two people who I think could really benefit from some research about people like you. ❤️ I feel for you. Greater awareness should lead to greater compassion.
S111n20 · 20/10/2020 17:57

You did the polite thing in asking next time just go.

OverTheRainbow88 · 20/10/2020 17:57

A cafe manager asked to see my bump before they let me go for a wee!!!!!

TeachesOfPeaches · 20/10/2020 17:59

There is a severe lack of public toilets in this country. I prefer pub to the coffee shop ones as the coffee shop ones are usually a single filthy toilet.

TeachesOfPeaches · 20/10/2020 18:01

Also in London some private companies eg pubs and coffee shops are part of a toilet scheme which allow non-customers to use the toilets. They have a sticker in the window.

Belladonna12 · 20/10/2020 18:01

I never ask. I just go to the toilet and then buy something afterwards. It would be very unreasonable to insist you buy the drink/snack first.

vanillandhoney · 20/10/2020 18:03

@ImEatingVeryHealthilyOhYes

I really wish I didn’t have an ex-bowel disease sufferer’s perspective on this. God I wish I’d never had that dreadful disease. If you can wait 5 minutes to find a loo you’re luckier than you know
I totally appreciate some people struggle with disabilities and illnesses that mean they can't wait.

But that doesn't mean people have to let strangers into their homes to use the toilet, and it also doesn't give minimum wage baristas the right to to over-rule their management policies and allow people in to use the toilets.

The problem you have is Costa not allowing non-customers in to use the toilet. That's not the fault of the staff member and it's so unfair that they're the ones who take the brunt of people's anger and upset. They're just doing their jobs and probably have no right to against store policy without potentially getting in trouble themselves.

Angelina82 · 20/10/2020 18:04

Even if the server were to know that you are stupid enough to spend so much money on Costa(lot) coffee, just imagine if every mug patron was entitled enough to think they could just walk in off the street to relieve themselves. I’m sure you’d be the first to complain if their were throngs of people barging past you to get to the bog.

Doodiesbear · 20/10/2020 18:09

The problem you have is Costa not allowing non-customers in to use the toilet. That's not the fault of the staff member and it's so unfair that they're the ones who take the brunt of people's anger and upset. They're just doing their jobs and probably have no right to against store policy without potentially getting in trouble themselves.

But then who cares about that? Most people don't give a flying fuck as long as they either get to do what they want or get to have a go at the person stopping them doing what they want, even if that person is only following company policies etc. The concequences of their want fall to someone else, they're not affected.