To be cross at Costa coffee not letting me go to the loo?

[Treatedlikeamaid]

I think of all the money I’ve spent in Costa and just now I nipped into a branch, it was empty. I asked if I could use the loo and the young man serving told me not if I wasn’t going to buy anything. I mean..it was empty! I’ve spent 100s in there over the years. ! I’m a lady of a certain age when we need the loo, we need the loo! I’m irrationally angry and then got all embarrassed and tearful. Not pleasant at all. It wouldn’t have cost Costa anything to show a bit of consideration. Humph!

Can you tell me where I can access this free supply of toilet roll, hot water and cleaning materials, plus staff time cleaning it?
If it doesn't cost them anything then surely the above items are free and therefore I feel I'm missing a trick here by paying for them!

I don't think men/boys get to tell women whether they can use the loo or not, given all they need to do is find a bush.

They do when they work there. The staff member is denying access to a non-customer it is as simple as that. Trying to twist it to fit a "sexist" agenda is just ridiculous.

Woman as girls irks me @grenouilleescargot
One of my dd's referred to herself as a girl. Asked her if she'd finished her homework and it was passed her bedtime, she has school tomorrow

I actually think it's a bit grumpy, age and sex ARE relevant, women are more likely to have bladder issues/weaker pelvic floor and especially over a certain age. And yes it's a customer toilet but my local matalan has a toilet in and it's just as you walk in so you wouldn't even get chance to buy anything. I just think that with public toilets shut it's a sad world where we would rather see people have public accidents than let them use a toilet. But our Costa have a code at the bottom of the receipt for the toilet so you can only use it if you've bought something. It's a pain for many people.

I don't think men/boys get to tell women whether they can use the loo or not, given all they need to do is find a bush

They also have to lower their standards past the point that many men feel uncomfortable. Women are also capable of pissing outdoors.

I am not a business open to the public

But Costa is. It's a business. So they provide toilets for their customers. Not for all members of the public.

Which bit don't you understand, @cologne4711?

YABU for using the word ‘humph’.

I think if some random person walked into your house demanding to go to the loo u would say no

Completely different scenario, I am not a business open to the public.

It's not completely different. Cafes are open to their customers, not to "the public". The clue is in the word "business"

Toilet legislation is really interesting for anyone who wants a read

www.north-norfolk.gov.uk/media/4063/toilet_provision_in_premises_open_to_the_public_policy.pdf

Updated CV version for Scotland
www.gov.scot/publications/coronavirus-covid-19-public-and-customer-toilets-guidance/

Updated Version for Uk
assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/5eb96e8e86650c278b077616/working-safely-during-covid-19-restaurants-pubs-takeaway-services-151020.pdf

@cologne4711

Totally unreasonable of them OP. I have a particularly hatred of cafes that use access to toilets as a sort of weapon. Access to a toilet is a medical need, one that is even more pressing if you have a disability or are menstruating.

I particularly hate boys refusing access to women. How dare they.

(same goes for male teachers refusing access to the toilets to teenage girls)

I can never understand the people who think this is ok. Have you never been desperate for the loo? Can you not empathise with people who have to plan everything to the nth degree before they go out?

That said, OP, why did you ask? I just go in and use (or were they locked?) I've never once been challenged.

It's a private facility, paid for by the business and its customers.

Do you allow random strangers to take a whizz (or worse) in your loo? It's much the same thing.

I think the anger should be more with councils and the government for cutting funding for public toilets in towns and cities, rather than at private businesses who are expected to bridge the gap.

Yanbu if you couldn’t wait.

Having had a bowel disease I feel strongly this is a matter of basic human decency.

But if people can wait till they get home/another cafe where they buy something, then they should.

I absolutely would let a stranger use my loo in an emergency, who wouldn’t?

I can understand their policies but we can't all hang on. For those of you who have a bladder problem you can get a toilet card which you show and most decent people will understand. I have been out and there was nowhere else and I have nipped in and gone straight to the loo without speaking to anyone.

If I got asked I would just say I am either going in there or on your floor if I have to spend precious seconds arguing with you or my menstrual cup is at risk of leaking whichever happens to be the case. If they are busy of course it would never be an issue.

If refused my daughter has always been perfectly confident to say to a teacher male or female. "I am on my period and I need to go to the toilet now" and will then go. In full earshot of classmates as has happened but not all girls are that confident. She has never gotten into trouble about it (which would be sex discrimination).

I absolutely would let a stranger use my loo in an emergency, who wouldn’t

Good on you, i wouldn’t let a random in my house

I expect that the staff member is not allowed to exercise discretion in this matter.

Well I think people who’ve had incontinence issues (and those who care about them) may have a different perspective

Women are also capable of pissing outdoors.

Are they? Lucky you. I have rheumatoid arthritis so certainly can't but most women I know without a disability can't. And it's hardly as discrete as a man doing it is it? A bit difficult to deal with your period as well. It's flaming disgusting anyway. Cafes tend to be in towns and cities not out in the woods. Nobody should be pissing outside there. Do you enjoy piss smelling doorways and alley ways? It's not something I find pleasant.

@ImEatingVeryHealthilyOhYes

Well I think people who’ve had incontinence issues (and those who care about them) may have a different perspective

If she was so desperate to go, why couldn't she buy an espresso for £2? It's not the job of private businesses to cater to non-customers' health needs.

@ImEatingVeryHealthilyOhYes

I absolutely would let a stranger use my loo in an emergency, who wouldn’t?

I wouldn't.

I always buy something when I do this. Every time. Would feel a bit odd and presumptuous to expect to just waltz in for free.

Women are also capable of pissing outdoors

Yes, it’s possible but it isn’t as easy for women as it would be for men—given all they have to do is whip it out!

Ok yes I think she should’ve bought a drink. It’s not the cafe’s fault if there wasn’t a public loo nearby.

However it’s fear of unavailable loos that kept me housebound when I was ill (thank god I’ve recovered)

Completely different scenario, I am not a business open to the public.

Neither is Costa! They're a business open to customers - ie. people who are buying goods from them. They don't have to let anyone in to their establishment to use the toilet for free.

I’m going to have to find myself a ‘more public loos’ petition aren’t i?

First mistake is spending money at Costa tbh 😂 horrible place!
Places like that tend to be strict with their toilets. It’s ridiculous- but hey lesson learned - spend your money elsewhere where staff are nicer