Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be cross at Costa coffee not letting me go to the loo?

356 replies

Treatedlikeamaid · 20/10/2020 15:23

I think of all the money I’ve spent in Costa and just now I nipped into a branch, it was empty. I asked if I could use the loo and the young man serving told me not if I wasn’t going to buy anything. I mean..it was empty! I’ve spent 100s in there over the years. ! I’m a lady of a certain age when we need the loo, we need the loo! I’m irrationally angry and then got all embarrassed and tearful. Not pleasant at all. It wouldn’t have cost Costa anything to show a bit of consideration. Humph!

OP posts:
Eckhart · 20/10/2020 16:22

One option is to pay a drink forward if you don't want to get a drink for yourself, perhaps

That won't work for OP because she wants something for nothing. And before anybody says 'It's only a quick pee', clean a toilet that's been used by the public before you post. You might think twice.

knittingaddict · 20/10/2020 16:23

@mumwon

no problem doing track & trace but as others have said public loos are shut covid & if there is a supermarket that the place to go. Saying that I have bought a cup of tea or whatever so I can use the loo In desperation once I went into cafe & offered to pay a £1 to use loo (they let me thank goodness)
I've done that too.

IBS is horrible and sometimes feel like my life is ruled by the hunt for the nearest loo. I didn't dare go anywhere when all the loos were closed.

GetOffYourHighHorse · 20/10/2020 16:24

'hate toilet gatekeepers in these places. Public toilets are all shut or dont exist'

They aren't 'gatekeepers' they are prioritising customers.

Where do you live?! You need to get on to your council, public toilets have been open months and most certainly do exist.

Mmn654123 · 20/10/2020 16:24

Just walk in and go straight to the ladies - don’t ask. Zap the covid app if you like. Sanitiser your hands. They will assume you will order afterwards. Then leave. Don’t look even remotely apologetic. Highly unlikely they will challenge you.

Make no eye contact.

If it looks like someone is about to challenge you, look out the window, smile broadly and wave at a random stranger - and then dash out to them, as if they didn’t notice you. Staff will assume you are both coming back.

Then leave!

You’ve spent a fortune in there. You’ve earned the right to pee!!!

Ormally · 20/10/2020 16:24

Sorry this upset you. I can see both sides of the argument. With a loo that is not really public, but accessible, everyone tries this day in day out, and you won't have been in the minority this week for that café at all. It gets unsustainable.

This might help, if you don't know the place you are visiting already:
www.lockdownloo.com/

LabiaMinoraPissusFlapus · 20/10/2020 16:25

That is annoying. I have just walked up and used it before, this is with small children. What are they going to do? Or buy something, I have done that when there is a code on the toilet door. When out and about you have no choice sometimes!

SonjaMorgan · 20/10/2020 16:27

I wouldn't have asked! I try not to use customer toilets if I am not going to buying something but I am also not going to wee myself in public again.

gymbummy · 20/10/2020 16:27

Slightly off subject, but I once had a coffee with a friend in East London and a rent boy and his... client (not sure what term to use here) nipped in just to use the toilet facilities. I don't think they bought a coffee before or after.

coffeeforone · 20/10/2020 16:28

YABU to have asked. I would have just walked straight to the loo if I was desperate. And then probably bought something on the way out.

canigooutyet · 20/10/2020 16:29

Sleeping, same for me, I get recognised as soon as I walk in in some places.

Someone mentioned denied access because it'd had just been cleaned. If the floor is damp and the size is equivalent to the wet sign guidelines ( or something like this) the area has to be blocked in some way. You can enter the area but it's at your own risk.

Devlesko · 20/10/2020 16:29

Maybe you should have just let it out and walked out of the shop. Grin
If you can't wait, I'd get one of those cards, they might have let you use it with a card. Unless they are closed to customers too.

Audreyseyebrows · 20/10/2020 16:30

Did you have your ‘Costa customer T-shirt’ on?
If not that’s probably why.

I do kind of feel your pain. I’ve dashed into various toilets due to IBS but usually buy something or stick some change in the tip jar when I come out because I feel bad.

HartnellAvenue · 20/10/2020 16:33

You weren’t spending anything on this visit.

She wanted to spend a penny.

And to the pp who says it's annoying cleaning up when that person hadn't bought anything - does Starbucks etc pay comission? Genuinely interested what difference it makes to staff if the customer buys or not

Shaniac · 20/10/2020 16:33

They aren't 'gatekeepers' they are prioritising customers.

Thats literally the definition of gatekeeper...

Also where i live most public toilets have closed down, not due to covid but due to the council cutting them.

flaviaritt · 20/10/2020 16:34

Genuinely interested what difference it makes to staff if the customer buys or not

It’s their job to manage the shop, including the toilet. These aren’t public spaces, they’re businesses.

Why are people so bloody entitled?

canigooutyet · 20/10/2020 16:35

@gymbummy

Slightly off subject, but I once had a coffee with a friend in East London and a rent boy and his... client (not sure what term to use here) nipped in just to use the toilet facilities. I don't think they bought a coffee before or after.
A friend of mine gets accused of being a rent boy. He's a carer.

Not saying this was what you witnessed as I know they get used like this regardless of the involvement of money, just not everything is at it seems.

Legoandloldolls · 20/10/2020 16:38

I sometimes use the loo first before I buy a drink. Dont ask next time.

Sometimes I just loo the Weatherspoons too.

Being a 100% angel kinds of leaves you bitter if you always do the right things and yet others dont and have a much better life experience because of it.

It's a wee not exactly theft is it.

AlwaysLatte · 20/10/2020 16:38

It is a bit tight of them, although to avoid this embarrassing situation I always buy something in a shop I'm going to the loo in. Also it might have had something to do with track and trace - maybe you just couldn't be on the premises without signing in.

Itsokthanks · 20/10/2020 16:40

Yanbu. No-one asks to use the loo for the fun of it. I had a similar experience the other day and in the end just used the loo anyway. It was that or do it in the floor!

GetOffYourHighHorse · 20/10/2020 16:41

'It’s their job to manage the shop, including the toilet. These aren’t public spaces, they’re businesses. Why are people so bloody entitled?'

It's ridiculous isn't it. So many posters thinking they can use any loo they fancy. We had this a few months ago, someone (of course with IBS) knocking on the door of a primary school and asking if they could use the toilet 🙄.

Public toilets (they really aren't all shut) mumsnetters! or Tesco’s/ large stores with more than one toilet so the staff can 'gate keep' or whatever.

SoupDragon · 20/10/2020 16:41

these businesses are open to the public

They are open to customers, not the public.

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 20/10/2020 16:43

@daisychain01

You need to style it out

Walk in, straight past the coffee area and head straight to the loo.

Don't ask permission, it just gives them a reason to say no.

Im with daisy

Sympathies though OP, its a horrible position to be in

If councils didnt close the bogs down it wouldn’t be so much of an issue

canigooutyet · 20/10/2020 16:44

For those who missed the links

Over 5,500 public toilets
www.lockdownloo.com/

Over 1,000 accessible toilets
www.toiletmap.org.uk/

If you come across public toilets not listed, you can also add them.

JuliaJohnston · 20/10/2020 16:44

You can't just breeze right in, you need to ask the staff for the key code.
And they'll tell you that it'll be printed on your receipt when you've paid for your coffee...

emilyfrost · 20/10/2020 16:45

YABVU. Being “a lady of a certain age” is irrelevant, as is your ability to hold it in and how much you’ve spent there.

It’s not a public toilet.