To think OH should take DS to nursery??

[ihate2020]

I wake up at 5 for work and I'm home for 11:30 I have an hours commute in total by time I'm home I'm knackered. Everyday I get back DS is still in pyjamas I have to get him dresssed and take him.

All I ask is when I get back from work I can have a little lie down and OH takes DS AIBU? Or at least a few days a week.

Plenty of people get up in the night with children and work FULL time, not 20% of full time like OP does. Plenty of people are single parents and work full time. OP shares her childcare (although DP needs to step up, he is actually looking after the child whilst OP is at work) and barely actually works herself AND her child is in nursery in the afternoons. So, she has every afternoon child free and off work - and three days a week off work on top of that. And is still moaning about being exhausted....

Maybe she’s unwell? Who knows, the point is she’s the one up in the night and the one working at all, there’s no reason he can’t do it. Can you imagine the dragging a woman would get if the roles were reversed?

@SinkGirl

Plenty of people get up in the night with children and work FULL time, not 20% of full time like OP does. Plenty of people are single parents and work full time. OP shares her childcare (although DP needs to step up, he is actually looking after the child whilst OP is at work) and barely actually works herself AND her child is in nursery in the afternoons. So, she has every afternoon child free and off work - and three days a week off work on top of that. And is still moaning about being exhausted....

Maybe she’s unwell? Who knows, the point is she’s the one up in the night and the one working at all, there’s no reason he can’t do it. Can you imagine the dragging a woman would get if the roles were reversed?

I literally said BOTH were lazy and that's he's lazier than her. So, you're picking a fight with me by agreeing with me...

So if your DH doesn’t work what does he do then?

I think the 'lazy' comment was referring to the fact that OP works just 16 hours and he doesn't work at all. Between them much more could be achieved. I understand sometimes people can't work, my own DH is disabled and hasn't managed work for a few years now, however that would be a major factor in who takes the D.C. to nursery so I feel OP might have mentioned it.

16 hours work for a family, can't be enough

Seems strange that we should assume that OP is ill/disabled despite being explicitly asked on this thread and ignoring it but we shouldn't assume DP is ill/disabled.

@MonkeySnake

Seems strange that we should assume that OP is ill/disabled despite being explicitly asked on this thread and ignoring it but we shouldn't assume DP is ill/disabled.

I have made no assumption that OP is disabled.

@decoraters I never said you did....

Of course you didn't. I am allowed to clarify my posit though as your comment came directly after mine that talked about the assumption he is not disabled.

@decoraters

Of course you didn't. I am allowed to clarify my posit though as your comment came directly after mine that talked about the assumption he is not disabled.

You're weirdly aggressive and paranoid - are you ok? It's slightly hypocritical that you're having a go at me for thinking you were addressing me WHEN YOU QUOTED ME IN YOUR POST but were accusing me of addressing you (when I wasn't) in that exact post.

You're weirdly aggressive and paranoid - are you ok?

Aggressive? Paranoid? Where in earth are you reading this?

It's slightly hypocritical that you're having a go at me for thinking you were addressing me WHEN YOU QUOTED ME IN YOUR POST but were accusing me of addressing you (when I wasn't) in that exact post.

I'm not having a go at you though. Not at all. I was using your post, which came directly under mine, simply to clarify I wasn't doing what you said. The fact you posted it straight after means that it could look to others that it was what I meantS. I wasn't being aggressive and I agreed with you when you said 'I never said you did' - because you did t say that.

What part of that is aggressive or paranoid I really don't know. I'm not the one who is shouting. I literally agreed with you

*didnt say that

I would be annoyed too, he can't just leave his child in his PJ's all day. Do they not go out at all in the morning.

Also agree that he should be getting up in the night if you are the one getting up for work.

@decoraters

You're weirdly aggressive and paranoid - are you ok?

Aggressive? Paranoid? Where in earth are you reading this?

It's slightly hypocritical that you're having a go at me for thinking you were addressing me WHEN YOU QUOTED ME IN YOUR POST but were accusing me of addressing you (when I wasn't) in that exact post.

I'm not having a go at you though. Not at all. I was using your post, which came directly under mine, simply to clarify I wasn't doing what you said. The fact you posted it straight after means that it could look to others that it was what I meantS. I wasn't being aggressive and I agreed with you when you said 'I never said you did' - because you did t say that.

What part of that is aggressive or paranoid I really don't know. I'm not the one who is shouting. I literally agreed with you

You assumed I was talking about you even though you hadn't done the thing I was talking about. That's the definition of paranoid. I should've been clearer that you're being passive aggressive. The aloof, sarcastic, "ok honey" type response of "of course you didn't" and defensive "I can do whatever I want" follow up is very clearly a passive aggressive response. I literally wasn't talking to or about you until you initiated this by quoting my comment.

Sorry, but you both sound lazy.

You assumed I was talking about you even though you hadn't done the thing I was talking about.

I responded to a comment, posted directly under mine, to clarify I wasn't doing/hadn't done whatever you said in your comment. That actually doesn't make a person paranoid. You provided a really valid point and I wanted to clarify to anyone reading that in spite of my post, my thoughts were not the same as the comment below, because it so easily could have read so. Calling people paranoid for posting, even if they do quote you, is ridiculous. It's a discussion. I'm allowed to use what anyone said when making my own point.

That's the definition of paranoid. I should've been clearer that you're being passive aggressive.

I don't do passive aggressive. I don't really understand it. If I have an issue with someone I will come right out and say it. I'm so confused that you are calling me passive aggressive when I agreed that you were not talking about me.

The aloof, sarcastic, "ok honey" type response of "of course you didn't" and defensive "I can do whatever I want" follow up is very clearly a passive aggressive response.

'Ok honey' ? I'm lost here. I said 'of course you didn't' because you didn't. I was acknowledging that fact. I never said anything about 'doing what I want' - this paragraph makes no sense to me. *
*
I literally wasn't talking to or about you until you initiated this by quoting my comment.

And I acknowledged so as soon as you responded to me 'I never said that you did'

@decoraters

You assumed I was talking about you even though you hadn't done the thing I was talking about.

I responded to a comment, posted directly under mine, to clarify I wasn't doing/hadn't done whatever you said in your comment. That actually doesn't make a person paranoid. You provided a really valid point and I wanted to clarify to anyone reading that in spite of my post, my thoughts were not the same as the comment below, because it so easily could have read so. Calling people paranoid for posting, even if they do quote you, is ridiculous. It's a discussion. I'm allowed to use what anyone said when making my own point.

That's the definition of paranoid. I should've been clearer that you're being passive aggressive.

I don't do passive aggressive. I don't really understand it. If I have an issue with someone I will come right out and say it. I'm so confused that you are calling me passive aggressive when I agreed that you were not talking about me.

The aloof, sarcastic, "ok honey" type response of "of course you didn't" and defensive "I can do whatever I want" follow up is very clearly a passive aggressive response.

'Ok honey' ? I'm lost here. I said 'of course you didn't' because you didn't. I was acknowledging that fact. I never said anything about 'doing what I want' - this paragraph makes no sense to me. *
*
I literally wasn't talking to or about you until you initiated this by quoting my comment.

And I acknowledged so as soon as you responded to me 'I never said that you did'

Ok

Anyway.... Back to the original topic....

Thread went a bit skewiff.