To be worried about staying sane stuck inside all winter with a 2 year old?

[Lardeedar]

Is anyone else struggling at home with a 1-3 year old that isn’t in nursery? My options before were park, playgroup, or friends/family visit at theirs but now The weather is turning I’m just having to keep her inside all day every day and we are both losing our minds!! The playgroups are all shut and now not allowed in anyone’s house.

You know the age where they won’t stick at anything for more than 2 minutes because all they want to do is explore new objects, places, people?! She literally cries when she sees that we’re coming home.

There’s a few outdoor play sessions Thank Goodness but mostly they are shutting everything down. I’m genuinely worried about her development and my mental health being cooped up with her crying continually asking for Hours and hours of tv. Anyone else?

It is SO hard, and I'm getting increasing angry at the lack of thought to the effects this is going to have on these babies and toddlers when they start school/nursery and have barely interacted with other children.

DS2 is 14mo, so too little for parks, long walks and puddle jumping. I take him to the playground with his older brother but after a go on the swings and a 5 min potter around that's it.

The leisure centre with soft play and swimming pool has been closed since March, never reopened and seemingly has no plans to reopen.

Same for the two libraries near us with their rhyme time classes.

Same for the children's centres. They are not even planning to try to restart the playgroups despite the fact that the volunteers who run them are desperate to restart and willing to jump through hoops to get them reopened.

@Redolent and @ParadiseLaundry this is how I feel too, not asking for anything fancy but would love to be able to pop into the library or a church playgroup or even just hang out at a friend’s house. I am sure mums in the past went round each other’s houses in the winter, my MIL has told me she would spend every day round neighbour’s houses so the kids could play together (in the 70s and 80s).

@Debradoyourecall yes exactly, a church group or the library would really help us. Particularly for my mental health

I have a 2 year old son at home with me. We signed up to a annual membership to a local soft play. At the moment ours is still open so we go twice a week. We also try to go for walks in the park a lot, regardless of the weather.

Would also recommend 5 minute mum. It is tough, I don’t know how my son will cope at nursery next September when he has no time with other children or people at all at the moment. I am also missing our local church playgroups which were fantastic for him and me.

and I'm getting increasing angry at the lack of thought to the effects this is going to have on these babies and toddlers when they start school/nursery and have barely interacted with other children.

the whole point of nursery is for them to start interacting with other children... A one year old like yours doesn't "interact" with children. Toddlers merely learn not to snatch toys and throw things at each other.

It's not ideal, but no need to dramatise or pretend it's worst than it is.

Baby and toddler groups are purely designed for the parents. There's plenty to do to entertain a child.

Buy yourselves both some decent waterproofs and warm layers and try to get out every day whatever the weather. Mine loved following the bin lorry on collection day at that age whatever the weather. Or do a walk where you look for certain things, or count how many dogs you see etc. Take along a pot of bubbled too as they're always a hit and chasing them can be motivation when they start to tire.

The Five Minute Mum is on Facebook and alsp has a new book out and she has so many good, educational and simple ideas to keep this age entertained indoors and outdoors.

Cooking (even pretend cooking, give them some pans and spoons and some dried pasta or lentils to mix and play with), make potions and mud pies in the garden (if you have one), and I second what previous posters said about baths being a fun option for any time of day for play, not just when dirty or before bedtime, and yes bath crayons and those letters and jigsaws that stick to the bath when wet are great too.

Another vote for trips to garden centres which my kids enjoyed at that age.

Age appropriate story times on YouTube are a variation on screen time and a change from kids TV.

@QueenofLean

Yes I hear you OP. I have a nearly 2 year old. It’s all very well saying ‘just wrap up and go for a walk’ but 1) we’ve been for a walk every day since fucking March and 2) We can dress appropriately but we both still find walking in the wind and rain miserable. I have two school aged DC anyway so we have to wrap up and do the school run twice a day regardless (an hour in the morning and an hour in the afternoon). More walking in the cold and rain doesn’t really appeal. We’ve done ‘hunting for Gruffalos’, teddy bear picnics, Pooh sticks, basically anything you can do outdoors we’ve done (it’s been 7 months now after all). Only one group has reopened round here and it was a limit of 6 people and is fully booked until Christmas.

This resonates. A lot of the people who just brush aside the concerns of younger mums and harp on about how they spent years on end jumping in puddles...well sorry but if your kids are all grown up and this is not your reality now, I don’t really want to be told by you not to complain thanks!

Some people might be fine with it but personally I find it fucking miserable, the prospect of spending all winter entertaining my two pre schoolers without any social interaction or inside activities. And it’s ok to think that-I wish some posters would stop being snooty and seemingly trying to shame mums who aren’t over the moon at stomping around outside in the wind and rain for months on end with no adult company.

It’s ok to find that prospect hard and be grumpy about it. Yes of course we we’ll all make the best of it because we have to but there is demand for Playgroups for a reason-sometimes it’s just nice to be inside in the warm with other adults and children for company!

I’m also grumpy about all the people insisting that babies and toddlers need nothing more than their parents. That’s not always true. Ok they don’t NEED more than that I.e. to stay alive but that’s not to say it’s not very beneficial. Even my just turned two year old gets sooooo much out of her three days at nursery, she asks to go and gets so excited about it. The social interaction and wide ranging group activities are great for her. Yes she’d of course be ‘ok’ without it but that doesn’t mean she wouldn’t be missing out. Maybe I’m doing something wrong but my two would really not get nearly as much out of life as they do if all we did for weeks on end was go for walks in the rain. Just because nothing actively bad is happening to them it’s ok to feel sad that some of the great things aren’t happening either.

The whole point of nursery is for them to start interacting with other children... A one year old like yours doesn't "interact" with children. Toddlers merely learn not to snatch toys and throw things at each other. It's not ideal, but no need to dramatise or pretend it's worst than it is.

But it’s not just about kids playing alongside other kids. I agree that a one-year-old isn’t going to make meaningful friendships at a baby group (two years plus I’d argue differently though). It’s about babies and toddlers having severely diminished opportunities to interact with anyone, child or adult, outside their immediate household - extended family, neighbours, toddler group leaders, bus drivers, shopkeepers, cafe staff. Learning basic manners/social niceties, to recognise and respond to gestures and facial expressions, basic knowledge and understanding of the world...

Children are now banned or strongly discouraged from many settings (including my local library and many of my local garden centres). There is no way that this won’t have some kind of knock-on effect on their cognitive, language and social development, and I say that as a former Early Years teacher.

Add that to the health implications (minor developmental issues being missed; dentists being inaccessible) and restrictions on physical activity (swimming pools and sport classes closed; over reliance on screens during lockdown) and you are storing up considerable issues among this cohort for the future.

Thanks for the 5 minute mum recommendation. There is lots on Pinterest too.

We are overseas and playgroups etc are limited at the best of times, with Covid they’re non existent and libraries, pools, soft play etc are closed. It’s hard and a bit repetitive. For me more than DS (almost 2). But a puddlesuit and wellies are essentials and we go out in all but torrential rain. I try to go out once for a task (posting a letter, buying bread etc) and once to the park/woods/playground. A balance bike has been a good investment. For indoors a tuff tray has been brilliant for activities involving pouring, messy, and imaginative play. I’m considering a Pikler triangle for this winter. We do lots of cooking - baking but also general meal prep.

I worry about socialisation - DS is wary of strangers including other kids. Other toddlers we know are in nursery or with GPs so no play dates, and even parks are pretty deserted unless the weather is really good. We occasionally see another family with kids at the weekend but not every week. But DS interacts with family, I take him to the shops So he sees me interacting with other people, and we have daily video calls with family or friends. I just have to hope that socialising will be easier in spring/summer before nursery school starts in Sept, so the transition is less of a shock.

Everyone with pre-schoolers - you have my absolute sympathy at present.

I am so thankful my DD is 12 throughout all of this and I don't have to cope with a toddler or baby during lockdown.

Ignore the "suck it up" brigade. I love a winter walk but every fucking day of every week of every month since March - no way.

@PumpkinetChocolat
Learning not to snatch toys and throw things are exactly the sort of thing I'm talking about though. Along with sitting at a table with other children for a snack, learning when it's time to sit on a rug with other children because it's time for songs and a story. I'm not expecting my one year old to play elaborate games and form deep bonds with the other children.

These are all things that my 4 year old, who started school in September, had as a foundation for understanding the processes and rituals of school and being used to different types of other children and gaining independence in toddling away from me to explore in a safe environment around other people.

And everything that @TempsPerdu said, they put it much better than I could.

There is no way that this won’t have some kind of knock-on effect on their cognitive, language and social development, and I say that as a former Early Years teacher

I have 3 children. My youngest is 21 months. He’s lovely, affectionate, inquisitive and bright. I had some concerns over his development...he’s behind in social skills compared to his siblings at this age. Got myself into a big panic. I spoke to the HV who assessed him and thinks the issue is that from March he abruptly had all his social interactions stop completely. He went from going to nursery for a couple of sessions a week, seeing friends with toddlers the same age regularly, seeing his adored grandparents and going to toddler groups/cafes etc to being mainly stuck in front of Peppa Pig while I tried desperately to homeschool 2 older children and keep my own business afloat.

Oh it’s bleak. As lots of helpful people have pointed out, you could get dressed up and out to the park every day. But have any of these people spend 10 hours looking after a toddler alone? That will burn about 1 of those hours! What about the other 9? I too am dreading the winter- I get pretty lonely with a not yet talking toddler, and the prospect of lockdown is pretty terrifying

Toddlers really don’t even need to get out of the house that much. You can provide tons of activities at home if you just plan ahead. Art projects, sensory bins, jumping games, music time, story time, learning to “help”
With chores, helping you cook. Everything is educational to a toddler.

We got a fancy step stool that had rails on all sides so our two year old could get up to counter height in the kitchen. Opens up a bunch of options.

Nurseries and preschools ARE opened, that's the point! There is plenty to entertain children or opportunities to let them mix with others.

You don't need baby groups in that sense.

But have any of these people spend 10 hours looking after a toddler alone?

yes

That's being a parent? Not everyone goes back to work immediately.

Nurseries and preschools are open, but plenty of parents don't use them because budget, but could easily afford the £2-4 weekly donation for a playgroup.

Most activities for 18 months to 3 are not on where I am (Central Belt Scotland). Over 3 stuff and after school stuff is (drop and leave type activities). Immobile baby stuff is sort of happening (baby sensory/massage type things) but massively limited on numbers, (5 adults rings a bell).

I'd drive to do stuff but constrained by school pick up and drop off which limits options even further.

DS needs to learn how to share toys with a similarly sized/aged child (not a bossy older sister) and that you can share a table for snacks without scavenging from (or being fed) by the other child at the table, plus listening to group singing, passing a ball around, taking turns.

I don't want to have to pay for nursery to give him this opportunity, especially as we'd probably be Covid testing every week as he's a bit of a virus drama queen, spiking a temperature with minimal provocation, and then making life worse rather than better!

@PumpkinetChocolat

Nurseries and preschools ARE opened, that's the point! There is plenty to entertain children or opportunities to let them mix with others.

You don't need baby groups in that sense.

Yes my child’s nursery has reopened. However as I lost my job due to Covid, I can no longer afford to pay for it. The free/affordable toddler groups are still closed in my area. End result is that I’ve been at home with a toddler since March. That’s approximately 220 walks/bike rides we’ve done.

There’s a lot of Mary poppins on this thread...

@Terrace58

Toddlers really don’t even need to get out of the house that much. You can provide tons of activities at home if you just plan ahead. Art projects, sensory bins, jumping games, music time, story time, learning to “help” With chores, helping you cook. Everything is educational to a toddler.

We got a fancy step stool that had rails on all sides so our two year old could get up to counter height in the kitchen. Opens up a bunch of options.

Do you think in the past 7 months we haven’t thought of any of those things?

it would never even occur to me to stay indoors with a 2 year old all winter frankly, and nowhere in the UK is on strict lockdown thankfully

The best advice is to ask on your local groups what you can do. It's half term here, there are halloween trails, outdoor halloween activities everywhere. That doesn't help you as it's not local to you, but why not asking what's happening in your area?

@PumpkinetChocolat

it would never even occur to me to stay indoors with a 2 year old all winter frankly, and nowhere in the UK is on strict lockdown thankfully

The best advice is to ask on your local groups what you can do. It's half term here, there are halloween trails, outdoor halloween activities everywhere. That doesn't help you as it's not local to you, but why not asking what's happening in your area?

do you think we haven’t thought of that either? As I said above, there is one group happening currently in my area. It’s fully booked until Christmas. We’ve done all the walks/parks/cycle paths etc within a 10 mile radius more than once. It’s been 7 months. We’re doing a Halloween trail but you have to pay for the ones local to me so can only afford one. Other than that it’s more walking round the same places we’ve already walked, every day for the past 7 months.

Nowhere in this country has been on lockdown for 7 months

I can hardly suggest anything in your area as I don't know it, but I would find it astonishing if you haven't got at least half the opportunities we have here. Even if it's that bad, you won't be the only one.

if a group is fully booked, it means they are allowed where you are. Nothing stops you from starting one with a couple of other parents!

3 year old are not teens, they don't get bored that easily either

@PumpkinetChocolat

Nowhere in this country has been on lockdown for 7 months

I can hardly suggest anything in your area as I don't know it, but I would find it astonishing if you haven't got at least half the opportunities we have here. Even if it's that bad, you won't be the only one.

if a group is fully booked, it means they are allowed where you are. Nothing stops you from starting one with a couple of other parents!

3 year old are not teens, they don't get bored that easily either

My child isn’t 3, he’s 21 months. I know exactly what is on in my area. I have spent many months researching it. There is very little. I cannot start a group , as the reason they’ve not reopened here is that the affordable venues (like the church halls) haven’t reopened to community groups. The one group that is running uses a private venue that costs a fortune, but is run by the daughter of the owner which is how they make ends meet. But thank you, it’s good to hear that someone who is not in my position would be doing it so much better if they were.