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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Loyalty

73 replies

Mum1957 · 19/10/2020 21:33

I’m living at home with my 2 grown up children & we all have COVID-19!
My ex husband brought food over for the kids & they took it. I’m a high risk person yet neither him nor my kids thought it disgraceful. If it had been me I would have told him to keep his food as we’re all ill. When I told my daughter I was upset she said ‘ another drama- he’s my dad ?

OP posts:
borntohula · 19/10/2020 22:02

I think "another drama" says it all...

Leaannb · 19/10/2020 22:02

So you are upset that your children didn't take your side against their father when he brought his children food and not his ex wife? Yoir daughter's comment is very telling

AnneLovesGilbert · 19/10/2020 22:03

Would you take him food if he was ill?

Original poster
Mum1957 · 19/10/2020 22:03

No I’m not upset he didn’t bring food for me, it’s expected. He a complete knob who won’t forgive me for divorcing him 10 years ago?
I’m upset the kids thought it was ok for me to be left out. I wouldn’t have allowed anyone to disrespect my mother in such a way or be so unkind. I’d feed my worst enemy if they were ill

OP posts:
Original poster
Mum1957 · 19/10/2020 22:08

What do you mean ?

OP posts:
chickenyhead · 19/10/2020 22:08

I'm sorry, but you aren't making any sense whatsoever. I agree with your daughter.

Original poster
Mum1957 · 19/10/2020 22:11

Absolutely, if he was on his own. I would make sure he had everything he needed, after all we share 2 children and had nearly 30 years of marriage

OP posts:
dimdarkashian · 19/10/2020 22:12

Yes that is a bit shit of him to leave you out and even shittier of your DC not to share.

1moreRep · 19/10/2020 22:12

You are blowing this out of proportion and putting your feelings in front of your children. To resent them and make them feel guilty would be spiteful and selfish. He is their father who is doing something nice for them,

It's shit for you and everyone's entitled to feel shite but don't let bitterness poison your relationship with your children

Hercwasonaroll · 19/10/2020 22:12

What?

You're not annoyed he left you out, but you are annoyed he didn't bring you food?

This makes no sense.

Stop projecting this shit onto your kids.

chickenyhead · 19/10/2020 22:13

You aren't on your own. You live with your 2 adult children.

He doesn't have any duty to you whatsoever. It doesn't sound like he can do anything right in your eyes.

Shinyletsbebadguys · 19/10/2020 22:14

Wouldn't have allowed anyone to disrespect their mother ? Are you actually serious?

Your DC are unwell and their df brought them food and you are throwing a hissy fit because you were disrespected ? Your response to your DC was that you were upset they didn't refuse the food out of loyalty?

I mean Covid causes a temp.....are you sure you are not delirious ? I'm not being snarky I actually mean that...its the only explanation I can find for the utter self serving rubbish in your post. I've got completely batshit over peoples tones of voices when I have a fever (and once saw monkeys in the trees in my urban area). Is this a normal reaction for you?

Yes he could have been nice and brought you some but chuntering on about loyalty and DC refusing the food (adult or otherwise ) when unwell is really odd.

BigFatLiar · 19/10/2020 22:14

You're his ex so not his responsibility. They're still his children so he brought them food. It would have been nice for them to share, didn't you raise them to share?

Tink88 · 19/10/2020 22:15

So you would rather your kids didn't eat?

TheDuchessofMalfy · 19/10/2020 22:20

Well it was good that he brought food for the kids. I think they were right to take it but should have shared with you.

However, are you completely in the middle of nowhere? Can you not order something in?

ShebaShimmyShake · 19/10/2020 22:22

So he didn't bring enough food for three? Literally two portions? And you're not annoyed that he left you out, but you're annoyed that your kids aren't annoyed that he left you out?

PlaiceonEarth · 19/10/2020 22:24

So...you'd rather your kids refused the food and went hungry?

Smellbellina · 19/10/2020 22:25

I don’t think it’s shit of him really but it is shitty of your DC not to share/offer you some.

BookishZen · 19/10/2020 22:39

To be honest judging by your daughter’s comment you clearly have some issues between the both of you. I don’t think you would find many people that would cook somebody dinner if they did not get along.

It seems that he can do no right with you, many threads on here are about dads not seeing/providing for their children, and you are badmouthing him because he made dinner and delivered it to his grown up children.

minty133 · 19/10/2020 22:46

What sort of food did he bring the kids? Why couldn't you have asked them to share it? Hmm

12309845653ghydrvj · 19/10/2020 22:50

He has zero duty to you. He brought food, if you wanted some of it you should have spoken directly to the kids and asked for some.

Stop acting like a child and creating drama, it’s bad enough that you’ll all be locked up together for 2 weeks.

And stop putting the kids in the middle.

mercutio12 · 19/10/2020 22:51

Your children should have shared the food with you. If they didn't offer then yes that's rude.

DolphinsAndNemesis · 19/10/2020 22:54

What? He did something nice for his kids. They could have shared with you, true. But it’s hardly disloyal of them to accept food from their dad. And disrespect doesn’t really enter into it. I’m with your DD. It does sound as though you are creating a drama out of nothing.

Anordinarymum · 19/10/2020 22:56

Se he knows you have covid and he only brought food for the children ? What a mean spirited thing to do

P999 · 19/10/2020 22:59

Yes. Mean not to bring anything for you. And your kids should have been kinder Flowers