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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To clamp his car?

44 replies

Delain · 18/10/2020 19:44

My Dad has been a drug addict since before I was born. He's 73 and last weekend my brother and I had to do an emergency visit as we thought he had severe dementia. I took him to the GP and it turns out there's nothing wrong with him. He's just taking such a potent mix of prescription, non prescription, over the counter and illegally sourced drugs from the internet. Mainly opioids, sleeping tablets and strong pain relief but no one knows what for sure as he's a pathological liar and a classic drug addict.

The GP said he is unfit to drive and that she will inform the DVLA. She instructed Dad to inform his insurance company.

He's a ticking time bomb and is going to kill someone. Last month he wrote off his new car off by driving down a ditch. The police officer in attendance asked his friend, who came to help, if Dad was high.

Dad's hidden his car key and he's refusing to tell me who his insurance company is so I can inform them he's been told he's unfit to drive. He says he's 'told everyone who needs to know' which means he hasn't informed them. He's very aggressive and is the type of man who refuses to wear a seatbelt as he dosn't like to be 'told what to do'...

I know he's been driving even though he swears blind he hasn't. His car has moved places and he's left the keys in the ignition with the car unlocked even though it was checked by us the night before, for example.

I've informed crimestoppers. Filled out a DVLA report as well as the GP. (I've also informed his GP he's still taking a cocktail of drugs, still driving and still refusing help from SS even though he's been referred to them 3 times now as well as multiple different addiction agencies. He won't entertain them.)

I've filled out an online police form and spoke to an agent via live chat who said unless they catch him driving dangerously there's nothing they can do.

It's literally a matter of time before he murders someone. Can I clamp his car? Is there a company to will do it. I don't have any friends.who could tow it but could o pay a company to do it? Dad can't report it surely..as he has no legality to drive it? Where would I stand legally? I can't just break-in and take his keys as he has at least two sets and has hidden a set somewhere in his awful house. It's probably on his person at all times.. and even though he's old and off his face, when it comes down to it, I'm still frightened of him.

Just to prevent any drop feeding - He was very abusive when I was a child so am low contact with him now. I live about half an hour away and my brother lives about 4 hours away and works what seems like 24/7 so it's eaiser for me to deal with things. I've also NC as this is very outing.

OP posts:
Darkstar4855 · 18/10/2020 19:46

You can’t clamp his car. I don’t think you can do any more than you have done already, tbh. Other than let his tyres down, maybe.

Delain · 18/10/2020 19:49

He'll just blow them back up again. While he never qualified as a mechanic, he's always been very good at fixing cars and has all the tools he'd need in the garage.

OP posts:
MsAdoraBelleDearheartVonLipwig · 18/10/2020 20:01

Anything you can take out of the car to immobilise it?

I sympathise. Can you tell him about a story in our local news this week about a young couple killed when a van driver high on drugs fell asleep at the wheel and hit them head on. Their children were in the back but weren’t badly hurt. Their ten year old daughter held her eighteen month old sister while their parents died in front of them. The emergency services found them sitting between their dead parents. If that sort of thing doesn’t resonate with him I think I’d be trashing the bloody car.

ShinyGreenElephant · 18/10/2020 20:06

@MsAdoraBelleDearheartVonLipwig thats horrific!

@delain I would slash his tires. If he got new ones, slash them again

BMW6 · 18/10/2020 20:08

Superglue in the door keyholes?

AuntyFungal · 18/10/2020 20:10

What about contacting a few insurance companies cc’ing them all into the same letter? Explain the situation.

Give his full name, address, license details, doctors number etc...

They have joined up systems (fraud cases etc...) - so the ball’s in their court.

At least you’ll have covered all the bases and done your best to alert all relevant parties.

mineofuselessinformation · 18/10/2020 20:13

If he makes a habit of leaving the keys in the car, and you are nearby, IF you wanted to, you could do drive bys and look. If the keys are there, take them and lock the car, then leave.

Daphnise · 18/10/2020 20:14

It is not allowed on a public forum to incite criminal damage, but in this case, it's clear anything to immobilise he car long term would be a plus for society and all people around your father.

I am sorry to hear your story- what a horrible father.

StephenBelafonte · 18/10/2020 20:16

sugar his engine

HostessTrolley · 18/10/2020 20:17

Can you get into the car and put a steering lock on it?

Calligraphy572 · 18/10/2020 20:21

Sugar in the petrol tank.

RandomMess · 18/10/2020 20:23

Could you block his car in with another vehicle?

jimmyhill · 18/10/2020 20:23

As long as he mental capacity, then he has mental capacity to make poor decisions, even those which risk others welfare, and it's not your responsibility to intervene in this by breaking the law yourself (which clamping his car would be).

You can only tell police, DVLA etc as appropriate. As for insurance, you can tell the Association of British Insurers who represent all the motor industry insurers, they might be able to pass on the info.

Delain · 18/10/2020 20:27

He has CCTV everywhere. I can't slash his tyres - I'd end up with a criminal record.

@MsAdoraBelleDearheartVonLipwig that's such a horrible story and I'm terrified he will cause the same. He wouldn't listen or read it if I sent it to him. He's always been a stubborn, selfish, awful man who blames absolutely everyone else for things that are his own doing.

@AuntyFungal Thank you. I will do that. I know they can't tell me if their his insurance company or not due to data protection but there must be something I can do.

Is there anyone much more eloquent than me who can help me draft an email. I have a tendancy to waffle.. you may have noticed.

OP posts:
Delain · 18/10/2020 20:29

@jimmyhill thank you for such sound advice!

OP posts:
Eng123 · 18/10/2020 20:37

Whilst legally you can't clamp it you could put one on. RE cameras -see if you can borrow a long coat, wear a face mask (advantage to CV19!) maybe hair up under a cap/hat.
If you did get rumbled I dont think the police would take action if you agreed to remove the clamp and you hadn't done any damage.

LittleOwl153 · 18/10/2020 20:38

Does cancelling his insurance serve any purpose? It wouldn't stop him driving, and would remove his cover if the car was stolen etc. It might also help the victims of his wreckless driving.

Spanglebangle · 18/10/2020 20:39

If it was me I would spend the night or multiple nights in my car watching and waiting for him to go out. Call the police as soon as he gets in the car tell them all the details you can. Even go as far as following him to give updates on his location.

GabsAlot · 18/10/2020 20:42

how can she write to all the insurance companies there hundreds

id still try and slash them you wont get a record for it once its explained why

or go and sit outside when he goes out to drive phone 999

PhlegmyHead · 18/10/2020 20:45

Another vote for immobilise the car.
Good job face masks are the current fashion

Fairybatman · 18/10/2020 20:52

Agree with PP that getting his insurance cancelled won’t achieve anything. He sounds like just the type to carry on driving anyway as a big fuck you to everyone. You’d be much better off watching waiting and phoning 999 when he gets in the car, or if you can bring yourself to walk away just do that instead.

legalseagull · 18/10/2020 20:54

No need to write to his insurance companies - the DVLA have been told he's not fit to drive - his insurance is now invalid anyway

TheLovleyChebbyMcGee · 18/10/2020 20:55

What about a steering lock? I used to have one when I was younger. They stop the steering wheel from turning so will hit your knees or windscreen, apparently very difficult to remove?? It of course relies on you getting access inside the car!

www.halfords.com/motoring/car-security/

Flaunch · 18/10/2020 20:59

There’s a roadside test for opioids, police don’t just ask people in they are off their face and trust them when they say not.

Turangawaewae · 18/10/2020 21:00

I'm surprised his car hasn't been nicked if he leaves the keys in it.