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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do I keep them off school tomorrow?

62 replies

Lougle · 18/10/2020 19:28

DD2 has oral surgery tomorrow. We have been self-isolating since Thursday night, as per hospital guidelines, and DD2 had a CV test on Saturday at her pre-op appointment.

I have a dilemma. DD1 and DD3 go to schools 10 miles apart. DD1 cannot get to school other than me transporting her (SN).

YANBU: The letter says you must isolate until the operation. You must keep DD1 and DD3 off school so that you don't break isolation prior to the operation.

YABU: Don't be so stupid. As long as you don't leave the car, you aren't coming into contact with anyone, so you can drop DD3 and DD1 to school, as long as they just get out of the car and you don't.

OP posts:
Idroppedthescrewinthetuna · 18/10/2020 19:31

Although DD is self isolating, she still needs to get to her appointment which I assume will be in the car. As long as you don't need to get out the car at school drop off I think it is fine.

Original poster
Lougle · 18/10/2020 20:12

See, that's what my logic says. But I also respect their need for safety, so I wonder if I'd be unreasonable to go out in the car when I've been asked to isloate....but if I don't leave the car, am I any less isolated than at home?

OP posts:
TheDuchessofMalfy · 18/10/2020 20:14

I think you’re ok as long as you stay in the car. Is DD2 old enough to stay home alone while you go? That seems more sensible if possible.

SleepingStandingUp · 18/10/2020 20:15

What time is the surgery? Surely you're going out in the car anyway? But absolutely no stopping to the shops, getting out at school etc. I assume the kids are big enough to go in by themselves?
Also of you're taking DD to hospital, what would you do with the kids of they don't go to school?

raspberryk · 18/10/2020 20:16

Don’t the other children need to isolate too?

saraclara · 18/10/2020 20:16

Seriously?

I had to isolate in the week before lockdown as I had symptoms. By day 5 I was struggling, so I just got in the car and drove around the area so I could see that life was going on outside my house.

Even though I had symptoms I was no risk to anyone, and no-one is any risk to you. You're in your car, FFS.

wintertime6 · 18/10/2020 20:19

Don't you all have to isolate as a household? We all had to isolate before DS went into hospital for a planned procedure. I couldn't go to work and we had to get food deliveries etc.

Original poster
Lougle · 18/10/2020 20:24

We've all had to isolate on Friday, Saturday and Sunday, so DH stayed off work and DDs all stayed at home. But tomorrow DH will go to work, as he leaves the house before 7am and won't get back until after her surgery. My logic says that if the DDs are going to school and won't be back before DD2 goes to hospital, they are not breaking the isolation.

The alternative is that I keep the DDs off school, then I'll have to drop them over to my parents on the way to the hospital.

OP posts:
confusednortherner · 18/10/2020 20:24

Well I'm assuming they get out at school and you take dd for surgery? They won't be coming in to contact till after surgery and you need to get in car to go to hospital so I can't see why they wouldn't go to school unless I'm missing something...

Original poster
Lougle · 18/10/2020 20:25

She has to be at hospital at 12pm.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lougle · 18/10/2020 20:26

@confusednortherner

Well I'm assuming they get out at school and you take dd for surgery? They won't be coming in to contact till after surgery and you need to get in car to go to hospital so I can't see why they wouldn't go to school unless I'm missing something...
Not quite, because DD2's surgery is on the afternoon list, so it would be drive to school (stay in car), drive home, drive to hospital.
OP posts:
GlitteryFluff · 18/10/2020 20:26

All I'd worry about is there being an issue that means there's a delay at hospital and they ask you to come back the next day for surgery instead, but then you've broken isolation with the kids that have gone back to school. I don't know how likely that is to happen though.

lyralalala · 18/10/2020 20:28

I would keep them off in case her surgery is delayed. My DD's ops have twice been shifted to the next day at the last minute because of emergencies.

Original poster
Lougle · 18/10/2020 20:29

@GlitteryFluff

All I'd worry about is there being an issue that means there's a delay at hospital and they ask you to come back the next day for surgery instead, but then you've broken isolation with the kids that have gone back to school. I don't know how likely that is to happen though.
I don't know how likely that is. They've got really limited openings for surgery. We were offered a date in July, but couldn't make it, and this is the next slot available after 3 months. I think there are only 3 patients on the list. But I see your thinking.
OP posts:
Original poster
Lougle · 18/10/2020 20:30

xposted with you lyralala. It would be awkward. But then if the other children have gone to my parents' house, then they would have broken isolation anyway.

OP posts:
GlitteryFluff · 18/10/2020 20:35

Can your dh take tomorrow off? Or at least the morning? Then as soon as surgery starts he can drop kids at parents and go in for afternoon? Obvs might not be possible now at short notice/depending on type of job etc.

IMNOTSHOUTING · 18/10/2020 20:40

Like a PP my only concern would be a hospital delay but presumably that's not especially likely.

Justwingingmotherhood · 18/10/2020 20:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Justwingingmotherhood · 18/10/2020 20:44

OP if they want to go to school then I would take them as long as you arent getting out. I can see your predicament

EskSmith · 18/10/2020 20:48

They should go to school. If the surgery gets delayed by a day (As you say unlikely) then DH & your 2 other DDS could stay with your parents for a night to avoid breaking isolation.

Original poster
Lougle · 18/10/2020 20:48

@GlitteryFluff

Can your dh take tomorrow off? Or at least the morning? Then as soon as surgery starts he can drop kids at parents and go in for afternoon? Obvs might not be possible now at short notice/depending on type of job etc.
Unfortunately, he's already had 2 weeks off due to DD3 having Covid symptoms, then Friday. He's used all their good will.
OP posts:
Pumpkinstace · 18/10/2020 20:51

@saraclara until some idiot driver ploughs into you and you need to be removed from the car.

Firemen, paramedics, police, nurses. All contact that could be avoided by just following the rules.

Worst case scenario but you are still putting others at risk 'just in your car'

Hermionegraingerrules · 18/10/2020 20:54

I’d be too worried there’s an emergency and your surgery gets postponed. What if the surgeon is ill or something. What if your car breaks down en route to school? Not worth the risk IMO.

Telephoneaddict · 18/10/2020 20:57

I would keep them off. Drop at your parents with a bag of overnight stuff for both plus DH just in case surgery is delayed.

What if you have to get out of the car for some reason? Then what would happen? Plus, having siblings at home might keep DD occupied.

Original poster
Lougle · 18/10/2020 20:57

I genuinely don't want to break rules. For example, I arranged for one of my daughters to go elsewhere when relatives visited, to avoid breaching the Rule of 6. I'm very rule led. I just wondered if I was being stupid to think that perhaps they should stay home.

OP posts: