To think if I accept my fate I can move on

[Sarahspeaksloud]

I’ve lived this year cooped up in my house.
With the exception of going for walks every day and socially distant garden meet ups, I haven’t done anything.

I have a 7 month old baby and I know that if I get Covid my chances are not good. 😞

I’m 34 BMI 39 and I have inflammatory arthritis.

I’m not on medication for this (as agreed with rheumatologist) but over the last few months my joints have become painful so I know I’m going to have to get onto some medication.

For the above health reasons I’ve stayed at home as much as possible, but it’s making me miserable.😞

Baby classes are running in our area and I’d love to take DC. The one I’ve seen is Covid secure but I can’t help but be reminded that by going I’m putting myself at risk.

I know that when I get Covid I will require hospital treatment and there’s a higher
chance it could be fatal.

AIBU to just accept this fate, accept that this will be severe for me, and just move on and “live” until i eventually get Covid?

I can’t live my life locked indoors being scared.

Is it just easier to accept it, make arrangements and move on?

7% seems high!!!

Assuming Starfighter's example is accurate, you could state it another way...

"Even if you were an 85yo morbidly obese man with heart failure, you'd still have a 93% chance of surviving Covid". 93% is quite high, no? And you're not an 85yo morbidly obese man with heart failure.

If your arthritis is mild then you should be able to do some exercise and get the weight off, harsh at it may be you sound full of excuses. You could be out walking every day with the pram for the last 7 mths that’s a good start to being healthy.

@SBTLove

If your arthritis is mild then you should be able to do some exercise and get the weight off, harsh at it may be you sound full of excuses. You could be out walking every day with the pram for the last 7 mths that’s a good start to being healthy.

@SBTLove

I just haven’t really been in the right frame of mind for losing weight.

I don’t smoke or drink, but I do eat. It’s been a comfort.

We have been for a 2 hour walk today along a the canal. DC in the sling.

Every little helps!

Your baby is your incentive, to be a fit healthy mum, I grew up with a very overweight mum who did nothing with us and nothing to help herself; also had arthritis, it’s not an enjoyable childhood.

I’m high risk as well. My job is to stay healthy for my child. I have to be here to provide for her. I have to be her to protect her. So I am keeping myself safe to keep her safe and loved. In my mind nothing else matters.

Parents often say they would give anything to keep their children safe and happy. Parental death is extremely traumatic. So here we are, living through stressful situations to keep our children’s world has happy as possible.

@SBTLove

Your baby is your incentive, to be a fit healthy mum, I grew up with a very overweight mum who did nothing with us and nothing to help herself; also had arthritis, it’s not an enjoyable childhood.

@SBTLove

I agree.

OP A BMI of 39 or having arthritis doesn’t put you in the official at risk category.

The immune suppressing drugs are what makes people vulnerable, which you said you aren’t taking.

Your BMI is your biggest risk factor, even without Covid.

@Terrace58

I’m high risk as well. My job is to stay healthy for my child. I have to be here to provide for her. I have to be her to protect her. So I am keeping myself safe to keep her safe and loved. In my mind nothing else matters.

Parents often say they would give anything to keep their children safe and happy. Parental death is extremely traumatic. So here we are, living through stressful situations to keep our children’s world has happy as possible.

@Terrace58

What kind of things do you do? Are you avoiding certain places?

We are working from home. We get groceries delivered. We eat takeaways but do not enter restaurants. We get most shopping delivered and utilize store pickup at the door for what remains. Basically we rarely leave the house and instead are focusing on our hobbies for entertainment. I do craft projects, build LEGO sets, play some video games, and read. We can hang out in our garden or go to a lightly traveled nature trail if we want a walk.

@Terrace58

We are working from home. We get groceries delivered. We eat takeaways but do not enter restaurants. We get most shopping delivered and utilize store pickup at the door for what remains. Basically we rarely leave the house and instead are focusing on our hobbies for entertainment. I do craft projects, build LEGO sets, play some video games, and read. We can hang out in our garden or go to a lightly traveled nature trail if we want a walk.

@Terrace58

That all sounds lovely :)
Did you have to shield?

It’s your own risk assessment - obviously no one else can make it for you - but if I were in your shoes I’d also be taking into account how prevalent the disease is in your area. I think I’d feel very differently if I were in central Liverpool than if I were in, for example, coastal Suffolk or North Devon.
I expect baby classes aren’t running into central Liverpool but you get my point - I think it helps to assess the risk of actually catching it as well as assessing the risk of what will happen if you do.

You can find out how many cases there are in your area here:

www.bbc.com/news/uk-51768274

[quote Buddytheelf85]It’s your own risk assessment - obviously no one else can make it for you - but if I were in your shoes I’d also be taking into account how prevalent the disease is in your area. I think I’d feel very differently if I were in central Liverpool than if I were in, for example, coastal Suffolk or North Devon.
I expect baby classes aren’t running into central Liverpool but you get my point - I think it helps to assess the risk of actually catching it as well as assessing the risk of what will happen if you do.

You can find out how many cases there are in your area here:

www.bbc.com/news/uk-51768274[/quote]
@Buddytheelf85

243 cases per 100,000 people in the latest week 7 Oct-13 Oct.

845 cases in the latest week 7 Oct-13 Oct

+224 compared with the previous week

4,510 total cases to 16 Oct

Hi OP

I'm not sure if you want to do the baby classes for you or the baby. If for the baby, I wouldnt bother, babies dont need socialised outside their family. If for you, I wouldn't rule it out but I'd exhaust other options first like could you start something on mush or a local facebook group for a buggy walk or nature thing etc

@OoohTheStatsDontLie

Hi OP

I'm not sure if you want to do the baby classes for you or the baby. If for the baby, I wouldnt bother, babies dont need socialised outside their family. If for you, I wouldn't rule it out but I'd exhaust other options first like could you start something on mush or a local facebook group for a buggy walk or nature thing etc

@OoohTheStatsDontLie

A bit of both really. It gets us out and it’s a sensory class. Bubbles, lights etc.

Everyone on their own mat 2m apart.

IIt's significantly raised from your base rate (mostly due to the BMI) but not a significant risk in itself, unless you think all healthy 47 year old males should be shielding
That doesn’t make sense though, how can a fat 34 year old female with an inflammatory condition have the same risk as a healthy 47 year old.

Because age is a far, far greater risk factor than BMI and your inflammatory condition. And being male is also a risk factor.
It doesn’t have to make sense to you, that is what the data shows.

@HopelesslydevotedtoGu

*IIt's significantly raised from your base rate (mostly due to the BMI) but not a significant risk in itself, unless you think all healthy 47 year old males should be shielding That doesn’t make sense though, how can a fat 34 year old female with an inflammatory condition have the same risk as a healthy 47 year old.*

Because age is a far, far greater risk factor than BMI and your inflammatory condition. And being male is also a risk factor.
It doesn’t have to make sense to you, that is what the data shows.

@HopelesslydevotedtoGu

But my BMI and Inflammatory condition give me a Covid age of 47.
So my age is irrelevant. My personal risk factors are not.

It's so hard living with the anxiety of the virus, I know all to well. I'm on immunosuppressants and have kidney failure and shielding for 4 months. Now I'm living my life but very safely. I know if I get it it could be the worst outcome, but I could also fall down the stairs and break my neck by staying at home! You have to weigh up the true risk whilst enjoying life. True not to read too much scaremongering news articles.

Well done for going for a walk...every little does help indeed. :) No mean feat to get started.

It's a funny psychological thing to be told you're at risk, then to suddenly find it's not as risky as you thought. I expected to be elated, but I wasn't. I was more wary than I ever was before.

My risk in that risk calculator is 72. I shielded, but now I'm being careful. To get to that frame of mind though, I closed Facebook, closed twitter, and uninstalled the news app.

I have lupus and inflammatory arthritis is part of the gig. It's a swine, I know. But I've done everything I can to keep safe. Now, I'm going to shops early or late, trying to cut down on comfort eating rubbish and trying to lose weight. I've started taking better care of myself...eg. booked some physio too, going from active to sedentary has worsened all my symptoms.

My approach now is no social media...here is my only place, distancing and washing hands. No pubs etc., but I wouldn't automatically exclude them for special occasions for example.

It's blinking tough trying to get perspective though. You'll get there X

I appreciate your concerns OP, but what I would do in your situation would be to start living again...whilst being sensible (hand washing, mask wearing, not going to really busy places, distancing).
We all need to live with some normality for our mental and physical health.

I would make it my mission to get as healthy as poss (which is what I've been doing since March). Good sleep, healthy food, exercise, vit d, fish oils, getting some time to read and do things I enjoy. At the end of the day, life must carry on and best thing to do is be sensible with hygiene and social distancing and to get/keep yourself in good nick! That's all we have power over.

@Sarahspeaksloud I think we misunderstood each other then. I was answering your question

That doesn’t make sense though, how can a fat 34 year old female with an inflammatory condition have the same risk as a healthy 47 year old.

Because a being 13 years older and male carries more risk than your health conditions.

[quote Sarahspeaksloud]@JenniferSantoro

What the heck is a Covid secure baby class. There’s no such thing.

Erm everyone has their own mats, all spaced 2m apart. No shared equipment and it’s a non mobile baby class.

What’s not Covid secure?[/quote]
Unfortunately staying at least 2m from others hasn’t stopped me from catching covid. I’ve no idea where I’ve picked it up. I’ve been very unwell for three weeks now, including a hospital trip.

It can’t be easy when you have little ones, deciding what activities to continue with, and what to stop doing in the name of protecting yourself and your little ones. It’s such a balancing act and there’s probably only so much any of us can do.

@SpookyNoise. My BMI is a bit higher than yours, and I was concerned I’d die. However, I’m a teacher so I’ve had to be back in school since September, and that has made me see things a bit more rationally

Snap! I was terrified but after half a term in school, one confirmed case amongst staff (believed to have been contracted from his wife) and one confirmed case amongst students, the realisation is that it’s possible to live with this with some sense, masks, hand sanitizer etc. The vast majority of older, fat people survive this, even with other underlying conditions. Go out of your way to avoid it, OP, but you need to live a little as well. Give a baby group a try.

@Sarahspeaksloud

But my BMI and inflammatory condition give me a covid age of 47

And 47 year olds are low risk.