Should I tell nurses of possible SEN

[Ispywithmycynicaleye]

Posting for traffic (apologies I know this is frowned upon)
DD (2yo) has been put forward for an ASD assessment.
She scored 130 on her 27mo check (normal is below 50'something). Her SLT discharged her because she knows so many words (never been an issue, more a tick box). Then had 1st face to face app with paediatrician where she apparently scored quite high, and it was concluded that an assessment of ASD is correct for DD, but the assessment can only go ahead when I put DD in private nursery.

I have never used a private nursery before. Do I tell them of DD's suspected SEN? I have an appointment to view the nursery soon. Do I tell them or leave it to them to discover (i appreciate this might seem obvious to some) Thankyou for anh advice, its muchly appreciated

*any advice

Can't believe I left the voting on! Please vote away

I was in a similar situation and told them. I wanted to know their attitude to SEN, how they would care for and support DC and what they would do to help the diagnostic process. I also felt it was only fair to both DC and them that they knew what to expect - which meant that from the beginning they understood why DC did certain things, they accommodated certain behaviours etc. I don’t see anything to be gained by keeping it secret - they’ll find out very quickly anyway either from observing your child or contact as part of the diagnostic process.

Should say *nurseries
Waiting for replies makes it easier to spot grammar/ spelling mistakes. Although from the outside it looks like I got me a catchy audience 😂 Bloody autocorrect and fat fingers! Grrrrrr 😂

@Triangularbubble thankyou! From the paediatrician's point of view - DD can come up to date with all her developmental delays.

Where I see stimming (getting worse, head tapping, banging, hitting her head off of me), grunting while stimming, self harms (my poor poor little baby!!! I've gone though it with my oldest DS too)
Her posture is off, tenses her arms, fingers and back, finger flicks, spins herself and objects, doesnt follow simple instruction, is 'busier than normal 2 year olds' (wtf does that mean 😭)
She is very intelligent, amazing memory, but speaks using the same tone / inflection, repeats words over and over and over until you acknowledge the word with her. Then she repeats a different word over and over....
She doesnt make eye contact, and has extreme phobias such as a moving car, loud noise. Very anxious with everything especially food.

Luckily DD doesnt bite or hit. She will attacked (has a younger DD at home who IS boisterous) if she is hit first, otherwise she is a non offensive little thing.
It's my fault she isn't socialised, DP suspects the ASD is from me!

I’d tell them. They can then offer the right sort of support she’d need.

Definitely tell them, they may have advice for you.

I think I'd tell them. Are you worried that they might refuse her a place because of possible SENs? If they would refuse a place because of this, then they probably wouldn't be the best nursery for her.

I would just be honest. I'd also find out from local facebook groups which nurseries are good with SEN and try to go for one of those.

At nursery age lots of the children who do have SEN won't have been diagnosed yet so it's not unusual within a nursery to have a child who is flagged as having concernes but doesn't have an official diagnosis.

I would speak to the nursery ,they may well help towards getting a diagnosis ,with their observations regarding her interactions and behaviour .

Thanks for your relies!

Are you worried that they might refuse her a place because of possible SENs?

I think I was worried I would put ideas in their heads, leading them to look for things as opposed to them coming to me with things that they found.

But as I said, I have no experience with private nurseries at all so wasnt sure what I am meant to do or what was best.

But it's clearly unanimous that I should speak to the nursery about the ongoing assessment.

I would speak to the nursery ,they may well help towards getting a diagnosis ,with their observations regarding her interactions and behaviour.

This is the main reason for putting her into nursery. The paediatrician told us she can't continue her assessment until DD has been in a nursery setting.
We (pre covid) were taking her to a special nursery for children with SEN but the paediatrician advised against this and said socialising her with NT DC would be better for her, and that her development may catch up. Of course this makes sense and would be the best outcome.
But I also got the impression from the paediatrician that this is just to tick a box and was told my DD should be diagnosed within the year, that she displays a significant amount of ASD traits as well as many other developmental delays and scored very high on the GARS-2 questionnaire. Tbh I dont know much about all this or what it means. From the info above, is it likely DD will just catch up and be fine?? Sorry, I'm just so worried about it all 🙈

*replies

Tell them she is being assessed. They coykd already put in place clear schedules and make ot clear when transitiobs are hapoenjnv
Often nurseries are very structured anyway
No one can aay what your child s future will be. Each stage at a time. Work out her stregths snd interests and build on them .

A nursery we took DS to look at at the time were over the moon that he had SEN, as it meant they would get extra funding!

Needless to say, we passed on that one as they saw him as just a cash cow.

I wouldn't worry about the possible diagnosis biasing their observations. Nurseries will be very used to fielding concerns from parents about possible SEN many of which turn out to be just a child who has developed a little slower in one area and then catches up. They won't assume she has SEN because she's having an assessment. (If every assessment lead to a diagnosis there wouldn't be much point in the assessment!).

Well autism is a huge spectrum ,some people will be fine in mainstream with little or no extra support ,others like my son who also has severe learning disabilities will need lots of extra care and support and is educated in a special school, autism affects everybody differently ,the good thing is it's being picked up now and assessment,s can start .

Ps your daughter will be "fine " whatever fine means.
She will have her own quirks and will be herself.
Dont try to fit her in a box.
Supporting her to be her.
Whatever her needs are.

@LEELULUMPKIN

A nursery we took DS to look at at the time were over the moon that he had SEN, as it meant they would get extra funding!

That is really interesting, I didnt know nurseries got extra funding for taking on children with SEN.

We have an appointment slot for a walk around at a nursery at the end of this month. I'll look into their reviews. I haven't yet as it was highly recommended by DP's teacher friend.

I definitely remember being told that the funding would provide them with an extra person as a PP says but ALSO that it would include any equipment and they were quite excitedly suggesting what they might get .
Really put me off.

I would want to know how experienced they are with SEN, particularly ASD. Regarding funding, they only get additional SEN funding after putting a series of things in place not just for having an SEN child attending there. It could be worth asking what they would use this for if they were to receive any for your child

x2boys

Well autism is a huge spectrum ,some people will be fine in mainstream with little or no extra support

Embracelife

Ps your daughter will be "fine " whatever fine means.

Thanks. I have an adult DS (21) who was diagnosed Asperger's syndrome when he was 5. I was a young mum back then and had no support at all, personal or professional so I never learned much outside of his needs and behaviours.
He completed mainstream school and is sitting his final exam next month to become a qualified electrician. I'm so proud of him! So I know a diagnosis of ASD isn't the worst. DD presents much higher on the spectrum than my DS, so I think that's where my anxiety comes from, that these behaviours are more extreme and new.